New Here And Can't Seem To Have That Relationship With Jesus That Others Speak About

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by naomanos, Jun 18, 2013.

  1. Hello everyone, I am new to these forums.

    As my thread title says, I don't seem to have a relationship with Jesus.

    I became a Christian in December 2009, since then I have done what Christians do, such as read my Bible daily, pray daily, go to church, and help out neighbors when needed. I talk with Him each and every day, but I don't seem to have this relationship that others speak of.

    I don't feel close to Him or feel as though He is even there. My wife says she feels His presence all the time. She gets answers to her questions and prayers, but I do not.

    I have no idea what I am doing wrong.
  2. Do you read your Bible with your wife every day?
  3. We do not read the Bible together, no. We both prefer it that way actually, as we tried to read the Bible together for a month and neither of us got anything out of it understanding wise. So we decided it was best to read the Bible separately. That was two years ago now and we each gain an understanding of what we read by reading it separately.

    We have different styles of reading the Bible. She is a whatever page she opens it to, she reads, while I read it front to back. We do however discuss what read for that day afterwards.
  4. Okay, so how about thinking along the lines of: How do I read my Bible?

    Is it: how reading the Bible feels good to me?

    Or instead: How can I know the only Savior of sinners, Who is the theme of the whole Bible?
    autumn oddity likes this.
  5. It's the second one, all the time.
    farouk likes this.
  6. Is there any unconfessed sin in your life? (to God-not anyone else unless you need to personally apologize.)

    I would say 'getting nothing out of' reading your Bible with your wife is a serious symptom. You should start by examining your own 'heart condition' and strive to be like Christ no matter the circumstance.

    All blessing require sacrifice...
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  7. I confess my sins each nite when I pray before going to bed.

    It's not only me who didn't get anything out of it, my wife didn't either. We seem to do better reading it by ourselves and then discussing what we read together afterwards.

    I had asked our pastor and he said that while reading together is a plus, it's not something that "must" be done. He said as long as you're discussing what you both read afterwards, he doesn't see an issue with not reading together, as not every Christian couple who has a solid marriage read the Bible together.
  8. There really is not MAGIC formula. You start by accepting who and what Jesus is. Rom 10:9-11 shows that. Then you walk in Him DAILY. One good verse is Colossians 3:14. Putting on love is exemplified by what framers do when they build forms to pour concrete in. When the concrete sets they take away the FORM and what remains is the actual product. Same way with God's love. Based on what His Word says you put this into action in your life and when it sets, you have the actual thing. Be patient and TRUST God. Above all, He is faithful.

    God Bless
    autumn oddity likes this.
  9. Look at your opening comment..........
    " I don't seem to have a relationship with Jesus........I became a Christian in December 2009".

    That my friend is an impossible situation.

    When you come to Christ, you are a Christian because you now have a relationship with Him. The relationship is that you are a sinner, depraved, doomed and destined for everlasting damnation. BUT, God who loves you gave His only Son that through faith in His finished work on the cross, YOU might be saved.......a Christian.

    I would suggest that you talk with your pastor and make sure that you are saved before you do anything else my friend.

    1 Peter 1:10
    "Wherefore the rather brethern, give didigence to make your calling and election sure; for if you do this things yseshall never fall".
    Lifeasweknowit and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  10. I have already asked that question of my pastor and he says that I am indeed saved.
  11. Only you and the LORD know that....

    I am not one of those who are a doubting naysayer when it comes to salvation. As I am someone who has doubts on my own salvation-I am forced to remember what God did for me and the day I asked Jesus to be my savior. I 'changed' that day. That is how I know...I accepted the Greatest Gift that day. Thank you LORD!

    But is truly between you and the LORD. Can your Pastor see signs and receive testimony of your salvation? Yes-the fruit should be evident. But You and God KNOW for sure what your 'heart condition' is.

    Please don't take this the wrong way-I am not directing this at you personally, it is a statement that I would make to anyone.
  12. Normally I would believe as you do, but I was asked the question and I had asked my pastor that very question and he gave me the same response that you did, but that he would say yes, I am indeed saved by what he sees in my actions.
  13. Are we talking 'works' or 'fruit? There is a very distinct difference...?

    Galatians 5:
    16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
    17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
    18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
    19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
    20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
    21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
    23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
    24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
    25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
    26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
  14. The fruit is what I am speaking of.

    I don't always exhibit them, as I still have my areas that I struggle with such as longsuffering as at times I don't have much in the way of patience or I am not always meek, but I have made improvements in all these things.
    Dirtyrottensinner likes this.
  15. Tis a truth; we will always struggle with the flesh in the flesh. I guess the best thing you can do is go to the Great Physician and pray for wisdom. Do you and your wife at least pray together? I am assuming you go to Church together....
  16. We don't pray together all the time, no. Only when the Spirit lays it on my heart to do so, or my wife asks if we can pray together and generally that's when something major is happening. I am not one that likes to pray out loud in front of people, so you will never see me leading prayer.

    When I asked my pastor about this, he answered with that I am just not ready to speak prayer out loud in front of people and that's ok, it will come to me the further along I get in my walk.

    We do go to church together, yes. Although we haven't been in three weeks because of our vehicle. It needs brake work on the front and rear brakes, two rear wheel cylinders, a clutch and transmission work. Over $2,000 worth of repairs. We just do not have that many at this time. We do have someone who is interested in buying the car though, and my mom is willing to give us her third car, but that third car needs the A/C fixed first before my wife will travel in it. She has multiple sclerosis and not tolerance to heat. With our church being 25 miles away, the heat would just cause too many problems for her.

    Our church does put the sermons online though for people to listen to.
  17. Hi Naomanos

    Perhaps you never had major sins to repent of? I know a friend that feels the same as you. Men tend to be less emotional on the subject of feeling God then woman.

    The good or bad news is that Christianity can simply not be faked. You know if you are a Christian. The bible gives some clear guidelines, example: Looking after widows and orphans is Christianity un-defiled James 1:27. We KNOW who is in charge of our lives! We know if we are humbling ourselves to God or selfishly doing what pleases us.

    Unless your heart is changed to love God, you simply cannot turn the left cheek, feed your hungry enemy, give expecting nothing in return! Only a changed heart that loves the Lord, loves people to the extent that Jesus teaches. Submitting to God and acts of selflessness make zero sense to a carnal person.

    We will stand alone before God on Judgement Day. We need to judge ourselves!! Not go on a feeling. 1 Cor 11:31-32. 2 Cor 13:5.
  18. I am in Christ. That is not a question.
  19. If you judge yourself to be 'In-Christ' you are in a relationship. You need to realize that. The only issue to consider now is the first line of James 4:8 'Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you'.
  20. When all else fails-work on love. I don't think we can ever 'love' too much.

    Matthew 11:
    28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
    29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
    30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

    (Humble and kind= fruit of the spirit.)

    Serve others in love....

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