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Need relationship advice

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Leap of faith, Mar 30, 2009.

  1. Need relationship advice

    So I am kind of torn right now, someone I have really began to like did something I can't seem to look past. Because it disgusts me and its a sin. He has had sexual intercourse with 10 different people. Waiting till marriage is what I kept focused on. Should I not bother getting involved with this person? And not even try dating them? I feel like I shouldn't because he isn't a virgin.. I don't know any advice?
     
  2. Sorry for your troubles sis.
    There is a lot of info missing to make an accurate assessment here. Was all this recent? Was it before you went out? If so you only have two choices let the past be the past and move on together in Christ or break up now. If you decide to stay together and aren't willing to let this go your relationship won't work out.
    On the other hand if this is recent activity (after you guys made a commitment) and this fella is not willing to make a clean start in a new direction then wisdom would run not walk way.
     
  3. hmmm..
    There are several answer's here. Bo did a great job, so I will just try to give a few more.
    If you are saving yourself and want the same, then, of course you will never have that with this guy, so If that is a really important issue, he doesn't sound like the one/
    On the other hand, many people never had that wonderful practice taught to them as a wonderful and special thing, so they think that sex is just that and regret it later on. He may be a great guy, that has made many relationship mistakes, of course he can be totally content with only that aspect of a relationship as well.
    Ask God and yourself. If you can live with this, If he measures up in other ways and just so many important other questions..
    Pray it all works out.
     
  4. Thank you both for the advice. We've talked for about a year and while never actually officially dating, we talk constantly lately and I knew he wasn't a virgin, but I never thought he would say 10 different woman hes been with. I kind of paniced, but then remembered.. God forgives, then who am I not to forgive someone of their past?
     
  5. There is a differance between forvigeness and making a life long commitment with this person.

    Take time to know him. get to know his family and freinds and let your family and freinds get to know him.

    there are other things to concider as well.

    Does he like to party, drink, steal, or lie??? what other long term comitments has he made and keeping. does he change jobs often?? does he work??? how does he handle his money ,bad situations?? how does he treat you in public and private???? Is he consistant in his behavour between the two???? Does he respect others???? How boes he display anger, regret, happiness,sorrow, love ????
    What does he think about his parents???? What kind of hobbies does he have?? What kind of movies does he like to watch??? How does he treat his enemies, friends, animals, What are his priorities????

    Do't just make a list and ask the questions. . .
    Observe him and talk to others about him
    Like I said "Take time to Know him"

    Ten is not a good number 1,2 or even 3 given a long time frame isn't too bad depending on the cirumstances, but ten is a well established patten. So if your looking at him as a potential life partner you need to be looking for serious indications of change, repentance, a turning away from that pattern. An expression of regret sorrow and or shame for that number and what it represents.


    respectfully His
    Cliff
     
  6. If he has repented for it then you should let it go.
     
  7. My first thought was this: "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone".
     
  8. If his sin was abusing 10 little boys, would you leave your little boy with him after he ''repented''?

    Amen, we all sinners. But that doesn't mean you leave your little boy with a paedophile. 'Leap of faith' is our little sister.
     
  9. On my side it's showing you quoting me for two things, but one of those things was not me
     
  10. 1 Corinthians 13:6 talks about love having no record of wrongs.

    I can understand your pain you're going through. Before marriage my wife had many more sexual partners than I did. It took me a solid year while dating to get over it. Mostly because she had changed so much so I never would have ever thought it. But at the same time, I did have a sexual history as well.

    Not a day went by where we didn't regret our past.

    We dated for 4 years and kept ourselves physically apart. Our first kiss was on our wedding day, and our first sex was our wedding night. So in the end, despite us not keeping ourselves virgins before giving our lives to Jesus, once we did we committed to it until our wedding. It's not the same as going your entire life as a virgin, but it's just as difficult if not harder. Your sex drive is never meant to be turned off once you turn it on.
     

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