My husband and I have been together for 34 years. He is 65 and I am 52. Over the last couple of years I spent over half of our savings and lied to him about the account balance to cover it up. In September 2012, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer which was too large to operate on and so I had to have radiation and chemo. My husband never left my side through all of that. After 2 months of treatment, the cancer was gone. Praise God! In March my husband went to the bank, made a withdrawal and found out the account was way short of what I had told him. I confessed to him that I had been spending it. He was furious and I don't blame him. He told me things would be different. He immediately took over all of the finances. Last month I had a follow up appointment out of town. He wanted me to tell one of the counselors why I didn't seem to be happy about the prospects of surviving cancer - so I told her about spending the money. My husband made a difinitive statement to her - "It's over between us. I am moving on." That was the first I had heard about it. I was crushed, even more. Then, 4 days after that I get a phone call from a women (my sisters' sister-in-law),I'll call her Sue. She proceeds to tell me that my husband told her that there had been no love in our relationship for over 10 years. Again, that was the first time I had heard this. Meanwhile, my husband and I are continuing on in a very hurt and cold manner. Then he tells me he is done with me forever and will be dating other women, the first of which is Sue, who he had already been dating. He said that we would continue to stay married, and that I could have the house and widows pension and I would still be entitled to the health insurance. He said that as long as he was able to date the Sue, he would stay and we could kinda hang out, since I was willing to help him try to recoup the money I spent. I hurt him badly, lost him, apparently many years ago, and I am suffering horribly over all of it. He did forgive me 2 weeks ago, but our circumstances remained the same. Whenever he talks to the Sue on the phone, I do my best not to be anywhere around. He realized that it was torturing me when he talked to his girlfriend while I was around and now has decided it would be best if he moves out and closer to her. If it's possible, I am crushed even more. I have and will always love him. I don't want to live without him or share him. I understand that I don't deserve him anymore. I guess what I need most is Prayers. I made a vow to him that I would never leave him and that I would always love only him. I consider it to be a binding vow under God. I don't want to step through the gate without him. I am a person of low self esteem and very insecure. I get attached deeply. I still cry over loosing our dog 13 years ago. Only God is going to get me through this.