1. Hello Guest! You are browsing the forums as a guest; you will have limited permissions as a guest so we advise registering to enjoy the forums fully. Remember: we are a Christian ONLY site - any user who is not Christian will not be approved. Blessings, Christian Forum Site Staff
    Dismiss Notice

Need Help, Bad!

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Enrique Nunez, Mar 31, 2013.

  1. Hi everybody, my name is Enrique and im in serious need of advice. About a month ago I repented of my sins and gave my life up to Christ. I recently was baptized about 2 weeks ago. I started learning more and more about God and The Bible and me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, and this past December, she gave birth to our first child, Adrien. Now this was before I gave my life to Christ, my life was just being wasted on drugs, sex, etc. We have both made a vow to wait till marriage until sex. We weren't married and still are not. We were living together, and I recently quit my job because of unfair treatment and she just lost hers too yesterday. So we've been forced to move in with my mom which brings me to the situation Im in now. Should we still get married to make things right in God's eyes and for the baby? I know in The Bible your supposed to have your own place and get married, but im so lost. I asked another church member what she thought and she said we should get married, and look to get out of my moms apartment.

    But I really need some advice. And to make things even more confusing, for the last week I've been having nonstop dreams of her cheating, which, I know isnt true because we have been together in my moms house with nowhere to go. I dont know if God is trying to tell me to split up because we are living under a roof, and even though we are abstaining, we sleep in the same bed and arent married. Should we marry still? Or split up? Man im so lost :(
     
  2. Sorry guys I thought I posted this in Marriage and Relationships!
     
  3. Hi everybody, my name is Enrique and im in serious need of advice. About a month ago I repented of my sins and gave my life up to Christ. I recently was baptized about 2 weeks ago. I started learning more and more about God and The Bible and me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, and this past December, she gave birth to our first child, Adrien. Now this was before I gave my life to Christ, my life was just being wasted on drugs, sex, etc. We have both made a vow to wait till marriage until sex. We weren't married and still are not. We were living together, and I recently quit my job because of unfair treatment and she just lost hers too yesterday. So we've been forced to move in with my mom which brings me to the situation Im in now. Should we still get married to make things right in God's eyes and for the baby? I know in The Bible your supposed to have your own place and get married, but im so lost. I asked another church member what she thought and she said we should get married, and look to get out of my moms apartment. But I really need some advice. She isnt so much into God as much as I am, and I feel she lost her job because about 2 weeks ago we has a discussion about God and being grateful and she said she doesnt care if God takes her job away...so yea, I told her not to test The Lord and well yea. And for the last week I've been having nonstop dreams of her cheating, which, I know isnt true because we have been together in my moms house with nowhere to go. I dont know if God is trying to tell me to split up because we are living under a roof, and even though we are abstaining, we sleep in the same bed and arent married. Should we marry still?
     
  4. How old are the two of you?

    Because of the situation you're in right now, your #1 priority should be for the safety and well-being of your child.
    The first thing you need to do is find work, get two jobs if you have to. Pray and ask God for help when you look for work and don't stop looking until you find something. When you do find something you need to remember that you have a child now and walking away from a job is not really an option, unless it's something God has REALLY told you to do..

    Sometimes in your situation, getting married before the baby is born is a wise choice. If the two of you are committed to each other and you were already planning to get married, it would probably make it easier for both of you and the child to marry before the baby is born. However, if the two of you are not committed to each other, getting married will not suddenly make things right in God's eyes. In a situation like this, getting married will only set you guys up for a marriage that is almost certainly doomed to fail.

    The Bible doesn't specifically tell people whether they should or should not get married in your situation, but the two of you as parents are still obligated to support the baby, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, no matter what you decide.

    None of us can make ourselves right with God through works. We are saved by faith alone, God does not want us to try to right our wrongs, but he does want us to give him our hearts. Lay down your own will and completely submit to God's will, pray and ask him for wisdom and grace for every decision you make from now on.

    p.s. If I were you, I would seriously consider getting out of the same bed with her
    and finding some place else to sleep.

    Hope this helps...
    God Bless :)
     
  5. Is 'marriage' always the "right thing to do? That's tough to say even with 2 single people with no children involved. The problems you are facing are your 'sin baggage' if you will. Should you marry? Well, the Bible teaches that as the "man of the house" you are responsible for the welfare AND spiritual well-being of your children.

    We reap what we sow- like you I am reaping the consequences of my sinful life pre & post salvation. The best thing you can do is make Christ your #1 relationship, followed by your 'spouse' followed by your children. That's the Biblical way. Study what the Word says about marital relationships.

    I think there is strong enough Biblical evidence to support marriage in your situation; however, you and your spouse really need to be equal in your spiritual walk.....
     
  6. G'day Enrique.
    You don't say if the mother of your child is also now a Christian.
    Never mind, the point is that you two have become one flesh, just as it was in the beginning. Adam and Eve never walked down the isle either.
    Making vows of abstinence while seeming very pious, was probably not a good move. Your dreams of infidelity are probably driven by a need for intimacy, and that need is natural.
    Your partner might well be feeling a little cheated too you know.
    To cut to the bone here I believe you two are married in the site of God and you both need to honor that union.
    There is nothing super spiritual about standing in front of a priest or minister and saying "I do" Nevertheless, if you are catholic, you need to front up before a priest and have your union formalized.

    Hope this helps.
    PS. I am not advocating that people should opt out of formal marriage, just that sometimes we 'put the cart before the horse'
    and that does not make for an escape clause.
     
  7. My suggestion would be to get married as soon as possible. For a legal marriage, you pretty much just need to sign some papers, have a couple of witnesses to sign, and someone to officiate. There may be a blood test and a short waiting period involved. Not sure about all the details as some of the process probably varies from state to state, but it need not be an overly complicated affair. If you attend a church regularly, talk to the pastor about your circumstances and he will be able to guide you through this process. What I'm thinking is: get the marriage license and the witnesses and have your pastor perform the ceremony. It doesn't have to be an elaborate ceremony; it can be just you and your girlfriend exchanging vows in the presence of two witnesses and the pastor.

    Yes, for a variety of reasons, you should seek to get a place of your own, but don't let your living under your mom's roof keep you from getting married and having normal (or as normal as possible, under the circumstances) marital relations. You can't undo the past, so you have to do the best you can to move on in Christ from where you are. By being legally married, and married before God, (which are not necessarily the same thing, but that's a whole other discussion I don't think it profitable to pursue right now) and seeking to do right by God, your wife, and your child, you rob Satan of many opportunities to bring you under condemnation. By marrying your girlfriend and being a Godly husband and father, you avoid many of the pitfalls that can otherwise arise in these situations.
     
  8. Sorry if this thread is a little rough around the edges. I didn't notice there were two threads until after replying to one of them. I merged the threads and decided to keep both OPs as each adds a little to the whole of the situation.
     

Share This Page