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Need Advice: Breakup With Girlfriend Or Not?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Unashamed, Oct 17, 2012.

  1. So my girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. I found out that she was cheating on me with her ex while I was out of the country and still seeing him every now and then even when I got back. I found out this summer about 3 months ago. I accidentally found out through her phone and she actually tried to deny it at 1st until I had uncovered too many of the facts. She claimed that she was so scared thats why she continued to lie and cover it up. I honestly still can't believe it because we had a great relationship and we've grown together so much leading home groups/bible studies ect. and she covered her secret sin so well. Long story short I was ready to break things off for good but after counsel from other believers and tons of prayer I forgave her. She repented and it was genuine and she is more dedicated to Christ than ever. However, as we started to rebuild or relationship she told me that she also has an addiction with masturbation(which I never knew about). Our relationship is open now and we hold each other accountable with everything. So 3 months later our Trust is growing as she has cut off all communication with her ex, changed phone number, gave me all passwords to all emails/social media, ect. BUT she is still struggling with the temptation to masturbate . We get in scriptures and pray together when these things come up but she is still struggling. Tonight we had our daily bible study and 5 mins after we finished she texted me saying that she masturbated. She feels really bad and I immediately told her its ok we'll pray and continue to press into God. HOWEVER, I'm having doubts about whether or not this is a relationship that I should continue to pursue. I know that we all sin and that no sin can't be forgiven but I am having doubts. Its hard on me even when I think about how bad she hurt me. The only thing that gives me the strength to continue is beleiving that she now has a transformed heart. I feel like she still has the addiction with masturbation and that worries me. I feel like my trust issues spring back up even harder when I know she is still struggling with sexual sin but in a different form.

    I need advice please. I am still praying of course but on one hand I want to be forgiving and being there for her through the struggles as a boyfriend and christian. BUT am I overlooking all the things that has happened? Can I trust her as a potential marriage partner or should I walk away?
  2. Only you can answer that for yourself. Then again, if you can just walk away from this girl, if that is all she is to you, then probably you should walk away. But if she is worth more to you.......

    As for the rest, well, maybe openly discussing these things with you might be a cry for help, or attention, or.....?
    Maybe if you can figure out what sort of need would motivate/drive you to make similar confession to her, will help you understand what is going on in her mind.
    One thing though..stop looking at everything being SIN, and start looking with compassion, seasoned with wise discernment.
    Blane likes this.

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