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My Jealousy Is Out Of Control

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Hope1920, Dec 20, 2014.

  1. I'm so stressed!!!! I don't understand why I can stop being so crazy jealous. Other then a few things in the beginning of my relationship with my husband I have absolutely no reason to be suspicious of him but I can't help it. I've been burned in pretty much all of my relationships. I've gone to counseling for my jealousy but it didn't work....it worked for a while but all of my urges to check his phone question his every move comes back. I really love this man and he deserve more respect then I'm giving him I know that im hurting our relationship but I don't know how to stop thinking that if he looks at another woman he thinks she's more attractive then me even though he tells me how beautiful he thinks I am on a daily basis. I need to stop because I'm not only driving myself crazy but I have to be driving him nuts.
     
  2. Scripture reference 2nd Timothy 2:25-26 ".... if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will"

    See, TRUE REPENTANCE is a Gift from God... It's an unmerited present granted by God that we do not deserve. It does not come from the strength of our own fortitude of our self-will. You cannot "Will" yourself God's true repentance.

    So... The real first step in repentance is REALIZING that you are out of control and too weak to actually "Reform" yourself through your own efforts. You have to hit rock bottom and realize that your self will is worthless to accomplish this. You must come to understand that giving yourself another Do-Over is completely useless - you are too weak and you will simply fail.

    This is where Confession comes in... You have to be ready to be 100% honest with yourself and with God. You must finally come to God in your weakness - knowing and Confessing before God that you can't accomplish it. Confess that you KNOW that your own self will is worthless to accomplish this.

    Then - ask God to grant you HIS repentance that you do not deserve and be willing to ONLY lean on God's own strength to overcome your weakness....

    Then.. This is where the battle STARTS... Realize that EVERY SINGLE TIME you feel the Jealousy creep up on you - that you must STOP and step back and go BACK to Jesus and lean HARD on His divine strength. Confess that you KNOW the Jealousy is coming and that you NEED Jesus' strength, that you cannot do this through your own strength..

    This is where you start.
     
    Hope1920 likes this.
  3. Wow thank you so much for this advice it's very helpful.
     
  4. I'm guessing you maybe got burned by someone else in a relationship? If so have you forgiven them?
     
  5. I was cheated on by my ex husband. We tried to work it out to save our marriage afterwards but it didn't work out. We have a son together and I have completey forgiven him but it made me aware of what people are capable of no matter how much they say they love you and would never hurt you.
     
  6. Have you told him you forgive him? I think your jealousy stems from your relationship with your ex and even though we say we have forgiven someone, sometimes we truly haven't. There is a book, besides the Bible, that I would recommend you read. The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. It talks about forgiveness and how to fight suspicion and distrust through God's Word.
     
    Hope1920 likes this.
  7. You have developed an insecurity from a self-defense mechanism triggered by your ex-husband. You need to visit a professional therapist.
     
  8. OP - Find a good christian counselor. I would recommend to NOT rely on your pastor for sustained and effective counseling. Most pastors are not equipped to handle real psychological problems.
     

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