Moving past this hurt & bitterness seems difficult :/

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by autumn oddity, Oct 12, 2015.

  1. I feel I'm at the point I want to just have faith and believe...

    Though I never hear God speak

    He seems to let me go through life alone

    And doesn't seem to care at all... ( please dont quote me scripture BC it wont change how I feel atm. )

    I dont know why he talks others ears off while he's quiet and let others go through life on there own; like a mother bird pushing a baby bird off a cliff so it can fly ..while He coddles others.

    Anyway to the heart of the matter, Its been a while since I left my old church...I left BC I felt my dignity shouldn't be compromised...and if that's the case , so should everyone else's...not just mine... And I felt like I was slowly but surely going crazy dealing being at that church... Idk why she(pastor) didn't like me..byt it was obvious and I would have been stupid to stay... I never did anything T her, onfact I bathed her when she was sick! And ...idk..i del so bad for a while BC church was life to me and still is .....
  2. Part 2: And it hurts when my bros who still go , come back and talk about all the exciting things they did...

    Its hard not to want to cave in and go back...but i deserve to be treated well, esp if everyone else was....

    I'm just having difficulty,continuing BC ..its like someone doesn't think ur worth an apology... And god still talks to her and makes things happen to her, when he's just silent with me..

    Idk, I mean I'm going to keep going BC to stop and fail is what she would want to see, and even with school ,though its difficult...they dont want to see me D well...but I dont want to give them the satisfaction of seeing me stop.

  3. First of all, there is no such thing in the Bible as a woman pastor of a church. The question at hand is not whether women are of equal value to men, nor is it whether they can minister effectively. It is, rather, the nature of their ministry in the church. More specifically, it is permissible for a woman to serve as a pastor. As I said, there will be a push back on this but the Bible is very clear and this may be why you are having a conflict at this particular church and it may not have anything to do with it at all, but.......
    1) there were no known women pastors in New Testament times;
    2) none of the instructions regarding church order include instructions for women pastors; and
    3) some texts on church order explicitly forbid women to occupy that role.

    Paul, in 1 Tim. 2:12, states, "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man".

    Above and beyond that is this deserve to be treated just like everyone else is treated. The ground at the foot of the cross of Jesus is level and all who come to Christ are equal in the eyes of God.

    If you accept this woman as your pastor then I suggest you go and have a face to face sit down with her and discuss your concerns politely and professionally and ask her what she reccomends you do. If that fails to satisfy your need, take someone with you and have a 2nd conversation.

    If the problem still continues then you have two choices, take it to the church or move on to another church. That would of course be your choice.
    KingJ and Klub say Amen and like this.
  4. I did try T talk to her she wouldn't listen and always thought she was right, I apologized multiple times though I didn't think I was wrong... I left already...

    Its just picking up the pieces that's a bit hard, sometimes I don't even know if I want to... But yah...thats pretty much it.
  5. From what you have said, it sounds like you have made a good decision. Life is just to short to live in those kinds of situations!
    autumn oddity likes this.
  6. We need to learn one of the most important lessons of all in life: to forgive. Otherwise, bitter springs begin to flow, and poisons the sweet water wells in our lives.

    Matthew 4:15-16 (MSG)
    “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.
    Cturtle likes this.
  7. Nonsense. Woman are gifted for the role of pastor just as men are.
  8. If you call the Word of God nonsence then I guess you would be correct. I however cannot do that.

    We have had this conversation before. Nothing has changed my sister.

    1 Timothy 2:11-12 ..........
    "Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet."

    1 Timothy 3:2 ................
    "Therefore a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach".

    Titus 1:6-9..............
    "If any is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, and disciplined. Holding firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it."

    1 Tim. 3:1-7............
    "This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
    Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil."

    It seems pretty clear to me.
    KingJ likes this.
  9. I've tried T o..i apologized many times, she doesn't see where she went wrong...she's not the type u can talk to..ive tried.
  10. Yes it is, I'm gonna try and move on...itd be easier if I was in another state...or country lol
  11. Brother, can a "women" teach Sunday school? Can a "women" be a "deacon" ?
  12. It matters not whether the other party is sorry or has received our apologies. We must forgive...and that we can do in obedience to God apart from our feelings. It's just like love. We can love people we feel no emotional love toward out of obedience to Jesus' perfect example.

    You don't have to speak to the person to do the work of forgiveness.
  13. I've prayed to god over and over T help me forgive BC she isnt gonna do the right thing, I tried and got shut down... And he hasn't done anything.
  14. Let the past and all of its hurts stay in the past u can't move forward to the future unless you take a step of faith thru the aide of the holy spirit. Your adversary the devil wants to keep you trapped rehearsing the pain and hurts of the past because he knows once u decide to press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ he will loose, so take courage in Jesus and he will lead u to victory, u can do all things thru Christ who strengths u, go forward and see what's in your future. The past is just what it is the past. Amen. Let all things become new.
    JG27_chili, Euphemia, Mykuhl and 1 other person say Amen and like this.

  15. I love this!@sherry robinson
    I have/had the same problem too @pancakes The bitterness eats away my insides though. All the time. And it makes matters worst when I see the person or even hearing their name makes me cringe. And yes....when i see them being so blessed and in their season of prosperity..i'm thinking how dare they get blessed :LOL: I am still working on learning to forgive and let things go. I know the feeling of being thrown away like yesterday's garbage. But at the end of the day....what @Sherry Robinson said is right....the past is the past..and we need to move on and move past it. And yes, the devil knows exactly how to get you down. And so he is using this situation to get to you. Like I said, I know how it feels to be hurt pretty badly and how hard it can be to forgive (i'm still learning that myself). But beautiful things happen when we let it go.:) I'd suggest just finding a new church and see how you like it!

    Major likes this.
  16. A woman can't head a man or men so she's can't be in the office of a pastor. She is to be headed by a man and not head a man. God called it that way, he didn't ask us our thoughts on the matter so it doesn't matter what we think about it I have learned in my walk with God to just agree with him for my betterment, he will not change his word nor his ways to suit us. He is the almighty God, and he changes not. I am simply just agreeing with the almighty.
    Major and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  17. You are called to forgive, and God will help you. It does not hinge on what others do.
  18. Women are pastors. It's not necessarily an office. It is a spiritual anointing. To deny one's calling to obey the ideas of people is a loss to the Kingdom of God.

    The Scriptures are being misunderstood.
    Cturtle likes this.
  19. The scriptures are plain and simple it's us who make them difficult. I choose to agree with them and not against them cause if and when I do I am going against God himself.
    Major and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  20. I agree with what God teaches us in the entire body of scripture. He teaches us that we who are women in the Body of Christ are equally enabled by Holy Spirit in the callings and giftings and special anointings alongside Eve was able to the task of working alongside Adam...equally able, before the Fall. It's Jesus that erases the old boundaries for the New Man in Christ. Far too many Christians do not perceive this strong truth.

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