I have made a huge mistake in my life, but at the time I made it, I was completely exhausted and I didn't care, and I just wanted my problems to end. Now I cant go back and I am stuck. I don't know what I was thinking, I am thinking a demon was driving me to do things which made me do these foolish decisions. I have prayed to Jesus but I don't see any resolution for this huge mistake. The only other way to atone for this horrible action would be to get rid of my existence. I know its a huge sin, but I am hoping Jesus will forgive me because I am also doing it to help someone else in my family out financially. Maybe with my not being their, he will have a better chance at survival.