missions and relationship

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by obad, Nov 12, 2014.

  1. I met a girl in 2010. We liked each other from the very moment we met. She came to my church on a mission trip. We talked for 2 years and got eextremely close. Our liking each other grew and grew. But we neveor pursued a relationship because her desire was to do mission work in other countries and my desire was to get a college degree and a career. she went to a bible school in another country for a year in 2013 and that is when we stopped talking. We mutually agrred to not pursue a relationship. Mind you, we kept everything in prayer for those 2 years. But it seemed like the best thing to do at the time. We decided that if it was God's will for us to be together He will ssomehow bring us back together and make our paths cross. She ended up having a relationship with someone during that year and I did too. But things didn't work out for the both of us. Now she is back from that bible school for over a year and we've started talking again. We feel the same way about each other. Our feelings are even stronger now. We both love God and want to honor Him on our relationship. We are older now, I've graduated college, she is in nursing school. Things are different than when we first met. We don't want just any relationship. We have spoke about how we can see each other being married and living for Christ together. We want a serious, no games relationship where we both honor God and grow in Him together. The only issue is that she still has the heart to do missions work long term. I don't. She probably won't do it for now because she is in nursing school. The question is simple, should we pursue a relationship and let God guide us? Or is it more prudent and smart to not pursue anything at all?

    I would prefer answers from married, and experienced people. Only because the bible states to get advicefrom older people.
  2. I agree. We are overthinking it. And fear is part of it. Fear of us starting something that will eventually have to end because of her desire to go on missions. She says she has a heart for missions s and that it is what she feels God is calling her to do. She has everything planned out. We fear being hurt in the end, not being friends anymore.
  3. You've already lost before you began if you're talking divorce over attempted plans before you even get married. Marriage is not a pair of shoes you try on and see if it fits. It takes love, sacrifice, surrender, compromise and obedience from both parties. It will take years, yes years, to iron out and get into a rhythm. Most think after a big fight to throw in the towel. When I was growing up my parents split. I was the ONLY one in my school with divorced parents. Today, my kids are one of four with same parents in their school. If you do not believe, and she does not believe, that marriage is for life, don't get married. It will end in failure and sin.
    Robine likes this.
  4. Im
    I never mentioned divorce. I don't understand where you are getting that from.
  5. From your statement:

    Indeed you didn't use the word, but you mentioned marriage and then "not being friends". Say what you mean and mean what you say. Euphemisms are hard to interpret.
  6. I worded that wrong. Misunderstanding. We are friends now, not in a relationship. We want to start one and we do see it leading to marriage.

    'Hurt in the end" I meant to say that after a relationship before marriage she might still feel the desire to do missions. Which will hurt. Not being friends after that? I doubt it even though I wrote. We care about each other too much.
  7. It'll all work out.
    obad likes this.

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