Ministering to the Homosexual community

Discussion in 'Evangelism' started by blessed, Jan 4, 2011.

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  1. Title says it really... any advice? Tips? Testimonies? Im female and these homosexual friends are male. Its the christlike love I feel I want to emphasise(not that im the most christlike person either...), Im really concious of saying the wrong things and driving them away by it. I dont look at their homosexuality as their identity, they are friends with homosexual struggles, we were friends before they said it.
    Edwin Omar likes this.
  2. I am in the same boat as you but with a female coworker. i just talk about God when I'm around her. sometimes she will listen other times she will say ' I don't want to hear that right now. Eventually the seed might sprout if I keep giving her enough "living water".

    chili out.
  3. There is a fantastic chapter in 'Searching Issues' by Nicky Gumbel that gives a really good perspective homosexuality. He says basically it can be fought against in the same way people embrace celebacy. He says that although the urges wont go away "any homosexual that remains celibate for the sake of Christ is a glorious victor in God's kingdom.
    I have a copy of this book so if you have any questions just give me a shout :)

    While we are on the topic of ministering - i have to opportunity to minister in a prison through my church. Does anyone have any tips on this too ?
  4. Howdy blessed,

    I sympathize with your predicament. I have a couple gay friends and this issue is close to my heart and is on my mind a great deal.
    I may be wrong, but from the you worded it, it sounds like you already have pretty good knowledge of homosexuality (though it never hurts to keep studying and learning). The real thing in your post that stuck out to me was "Im really concious of saying the wrong things and driving them away by it". So it sounds like your concern is not so much about knowledge as it is about method. Perhaps you're looking for a good, non-combative, yet powerful method by which you can use your knowledge of God's Word and homosexuality to reason with your gay friends on this issue and God's position on it?
    The best advice I've ever seen on this issue comes from a book that I think would help you out enormously. Its called Tactics: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions - by Gregory Koukl.
    While most Christian books focus on knowledge, this book focuses on wisdom by presenting what the author describes as an "Artful Method" for discussing Christianity with non-Christians.
    Far and away the most helpful book I've ever had the pleasure of reading that focuses on effective methods for respectfully engaging non-christians (including homosexuals) about the truth of Christianity and their need for Christ. The model presented in it makes conversing with others pretty much effortless while you show them love and respect. I recommend that you buy yourself a copy.

    Hope this helped.

    God bless
  5. I'm going to go ahead and put this out there: you're not going to get the "gay perspective" unless you get it from a gay person.

    Get to know these guys, as in, what it's like to be gay, what they think about homosexuality on a personal and topical level.

    I know that I am disagreeing with a popular christian opinion about homosexuality, but it is not a choice. I have never met a gay person (and I have met a good number) who says that it is a choice. If you talk to them as if their homosexuality is a choice, you are bound to offend them.

    Anyone who sees a genuine attempt to understand them as individual persons, and not a demographic, will be more willing to understand you.
    Faith-c likes this.
  6. I agree with you, and to me it is offensive (and I am not homosexual) to even get up in someone's face and shove down their throat, 'it's a choice'.

    When you are around homosexuals, you realize how erroneous and silly comments like that are.

    I also hate how people treat them as if they're these horrible creatures. They're not. They're human beings, with feelings and struggles just like us.

    And I've met too many so-called 'Christians' who sit up in church and loathe homosexuals. And I mean pure, seething hatred. And I wonder - why? Why would you hate someone you don't even know? It's like racism.

  7. I know someone is probably going to get angry with me because of this, but I honestly do not believe in 'ministering' to homosexuals. I really don't.

    The reason why is because I have seen too many lives destroyed by 'ministering'. First and foremost, I think it's kind of offensive, and secondly, you can really hurt a lot of people doing it, especially those who are struggling. How would you feel if you're sexuality is already questioned by modern-day society, and then someone comes along and tells you that if you don't stop your going to hell? I don't think you'd like that, and it's a very grim and disappointing scenario. And yet we say, "Oh, what would Jesus do?", yet I don't think Jesus was going around destroying people's lives and making people feel like scum. He was here to help, not maim. And despite what people say, 'We are trying to help', it just doesn't seem like that to me.

    I once had a friend who was homosexual. He was the sweetest man I ever met, much more understanding and polite than most people could ever boast for. And it hurt me, deeply, to see how much pain he was in because someone 'ministered' to him about his sexuality. It really did. He was not only angry, he hated himself. He was made to feel like scum, a dirt-bag, a whore, so many different things. And he was a truly beautiful person, not only on the inside but on the outside as well. His parents had disowned him, he was living alone and was struggling with himself and with his own identity. It broke my heart much deeper than these words and this pathetic text box can even express. And, the greatest thing was I loved him as a friend, as someone I could talk to. He was one of the few people I could count as a friend. I still do love him still, and I miss him. He's gone now, but if you truly want to understand just have to listen.
    Huntingteckel likes this.

  8. NearertoGod, I agree with you whole-heartedly.

    Don’t know how long this post will stay up before being deleted or at least reported, but I am NOT trying to cause trouble or condone sin. I am simply voicing my belief.

    I know many homosexual people. I know many heterosexual people. And, when I am around either all I see is people. Yes, homosexuals are people. They are human. They are NOT scum. They are NOT less than human. Jesus loves them without ridicule and so should we.

    I will probably catch a lot of flak for the following questions, but here goes . . .

    1) When did you CHOOSE to be heterosexual?

    2) With all the controversy, persecution and ridicule toward homosexuals in this world; who would CHOOSE to be homosexual?

    No, I don't believe homosexuality is a choice.

    I've done a great deal of research and prayer on this 'subject' and have found that the word homosexual did not enter the Bible until 1958 when the Greek word arsenokoitai was translated (by man) to the word homosexual.

    The following article is a bit long and was written by a Christian gay person. It is worth reading; if it doesn't get deleted first. Please read it in its entirety before wanting to throw stones . . .

    My favorite statement in this article is . . .

    "Even when we believe the Scriptures are “without error,” it’s a risk to think our understanding is without error."

    Huntingteckel and NearertoGod say Amen and like this.
  9. Agreed and amen.

  10. I do think we have to differentiate the impetus from the behavior. It is true that I did not choose to be hetero in my inclinations, but I do choose what I do about those inclinations, the same as I do with all the inclinations with which I was born or that I developed in life. Temptations abound in modern life, but I only have one legitimate option for sexual expression and that is with my wife. I think it is a grave error to treat homosexual behavior as if it were somehow something special and exempt from the normal principles of morality and faith. By the same token, we ought not single out homosexuality for special persecution, we need to address it like any other sin issue.* I agree that we need to see them as people who, just like us, have their particular challenges, struggles, and weaknesses in life and who, like us, need Christ's grace and power to live lives pleasing to God. We need to approach them with the same love, care, and consideration we have for any other person.

    *This is especially true when dealing with nonChristians. Not being homosexual won't save them, so there is little point in making that the issue with the unsaved. They're not going to Hell because they are homosexual, they're going to Hell because they don't have Jesus. First, they need to deal with the universal and general problem of sin and get saved, then we can move on to more specific issues in a spirit of humility and gentleness.
    AllieWi and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  11. I stopped reading when I got to the part where someone suggested ministering to homosexuals mean telling them they are going to hell. You minister to homosexuals the same way you do with anyone, by sharing the Gospel of Christ.

    God has placed several homosexuals in my path at various times in my life. I don't search them out, I take advantage of opportunities set before me.

    The last man I witnessed to, said these parting words to me after I spoke the truth to him: "This is what Christianity is supposed to be......"

    Obviously I didn't "witness" by telling him he's going to hell! That is not witnessing, it is judging a person's soul. The Bible is clear we cannot tell the saved from the perishing by human appearances.

    This is my advice to you, pray, pray, pray! It's God who makes the difference. Read your Bible every day. One day you will have the perfect opportunity to share what you just read the night before. Don't try to force things, but wait for od to give you an opening.

    In the meantime, when the subject of God comes up focus mainly on the love and how Jesus loves the sinners. He never asks someone to change before they come to him - he accepts us where as we are, sinners.

    First things first. We are all sinners and need to confess that to Jesus and ask for forgiveness, the rest will come in God's time, not ours.

    My favorite passage is Romans 7. It lifts a huge burden and opens a door to come to Jesus, because it's Okay to approach God even though you fall short of perfection.

    David was an adulterer, Paul a murderer, Jacob a liar! And God singled them out for greatness!!!!! There must be hope for the rest of us, too! :)

    KingJ and 3nails+1cross=4GIVEN say Amen and like this.
  12. That's it in a nutshell, my friend!!!! Good post!
  13. I'm sorry to go against the flow here, but it is far better to tell someone they are headed for hell than to sit back and allow them to go there. I speak as one who was converted out of spiritualism by someone shoving Deuteronomy 18:9-12 under my nose and telling me I was an abomination to God. Some people would no doubt think that was terrible, but it was the most loving thing any person has ever done for me. Now, I am not saying that we should rant and rave at someone, or come on all superior. The fact is, we were once headed for hell. We needed to repent and turn our lives over to God. Those to whom we are ministering (regardless of sexual orientation) need to do the same.

    God is not a benign grandfather sitting up in heaven, patting people on the head and saying "There, there, it's ok" to sin. Sin is not ok! It cost Jesus Calvary! We dilute the Gospel when we tell people that they need to be saved, but deny that there is anything they need to be saved from.

    The Bible makes it very clear that sex is a precious and beautiful gift, designed by God to be shared ONLY between a man and a woman in a committed marriage relationship. ANYTHING outside of that is an abuse of God's plan, and needs to be repented of so that God's grace can bring life to that person.

    Did I choose to be heterosexual? No, I didn't have to, any more than I had to choose to have two arms and two legs, because those things are normal for a human being. Whether an orientation to homosexuality is a choice or not (I believe it is) is not the issue - everybody has a choice on how they act out their urges.


  14. Telling someone he is going to hell puts him on gthwe defensive and closes communication before you even get a chance.

    I am very firm against people who preach a feel-good religion and ignore anything and everytrhing that is even a little unpleasant or uncomfortable, because half-truth is a good as a lie.

    Very often people feel unworthy to turn to Jesus -because we are unworthy - and the best thing you can do is let them know Jesus came to the sinners, not the righteous. No sin is too great for Jesus to conquer. He doesn't hate us because we are sinners. In fact he loves us so much he was willing to die a horrible death so we could come to him.

    That is where we should always start. The consequenses follow.

    Furthermore - you don't know that all homosexuals will go to hell. God knows the heart, not you.
    Christine likes this.
  15. Gal "But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe."
  16. The Bible makes it clear that the ONLY way of salvation is to repent of our sins and accept God's grace extended to us on the basis of Christ's sacrifice on our behalf. Repentance means turning away from sin. It doesn't mean that we will never sin again, or that we won't occasionally fall, but it does mean that our hearts are turned away from sin so that we do not want to sin, and if we do fall again we will repent again. Repentance is an essential part of the salvation equation - if we don't repent, we cannot receive God's grace. ANY sin in which we choose to continue without repentance - regardless of whether it is sexual sin, or any other form of sin - will lead us to hell.


  17. [​IMG]

    I have to agree with you Ginger.

    If the first thing we tell people is that they are going to hell for their actions,
    then they will probably not want to listen to anything else we have to say.

  18. I'm not suggesting that it should be the first thing we say - whether to homosexuals or to anyone else. But, somewhere along the line, it does need to be said.


  19. I still agree with Ginger ... "Furthermore - you don't know that all homosexuals will go to hell. God knows the heart, not you."
  20. So, are you saying that someone who chooses to continue to live in unrepented sin (whether sexual or otherwise) can be accepted into heaven? Why, then, do we bother to preach the Gospel? For that matter, why did Jesus bother to come to earth and die on the Cross?

    No, I don't presume to know the heart of individuals, and I have the deepest sympathy for the person who struggles to gain victory over a particular sin - but that is not the same as choosing a lifestyle of sin. The person who says, "This is how I am going to live, and I don't care what God thinks about it" has not repented, and without repentance they cannot receive God's grace.


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