Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Ginger, Apr 27, 2011.

  1. I just feel like talking about men tonight. A warning to the men on this forum: enter at your own risk. I am a very straight forward person and probabl;y won't give much thought to how you may view what I say.

    One of the things I like about men is that they are so darn helpful. They don't care that I don't have a clue how to do something. They just take care of things, and sometimes try to teach me how to do it myself - which can be fun, if they don't actually expect me to learn anything.

    Not that I am unteachable. I love it when the little light bulb in my head goes on, but other times I can't help but wonder why they don't see the blank look in my eyes.
  2. Enters cautiously....

    During pre-marrital counseling my pastor addressed the issue of men trying to "fix" things. I don't know if that's a natural "hunter/gatherer" kind of thing, or if it is something that society has placed due to expectations and the way we are raised. In general though, it's true. Men tend to use duct tape solutions. When we see someone we love get hurt, or cry, or just be sad, we want to fix it just like we would fix a TV. Sometimes however, that is not what a woman is looking for us to do. I know that this is true in some cases. I kinda feel that with my fiance it is not. She doesn't cry or complain because she wants me to give her sympathy or be empathetic. When she complains to me, she's very clear that she wants me to fix whatever it is, right here, right now. She's very, very old fashioned, and I'm amazingly lucky to be with her. The "fix it" mentality can have very bad consequences when we apply it to people. Much more dangerous for me because I'm a programmer. I've trained my whole life to dissect things and put them back together to work better. In my career, I'm constantly picking things apart and reanalyzing things.
  3. Often it's a hormonal thing. We just feel sad for no reason. The best thing you can do is give us a hug, and maybe say, "I love you."

    Because, if you try to fix something that is broken, you're bound to screw something up.
  4. oh no i had a struggle on that, my girlfriend cries really quick :confused: lol

    cuz we are mr fix men, and i learned that they just want someone to talk to, and we men listens

    lol yup its teaching me how to be more patient tho. sigh*
  5. Well, I do fix things. It is in my genetics. It is broken, I have to fix it. If it isn't broken, I will break it so I can fix it.

    And it is women's genetics to tell us we are fixing it wrong.

    'nuf said. :cool:
  6. lol

    I would never say it was getting done wrong - unless it wasn't getting done right!
  7. Typical m'lady.

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