Men:How to lead lovingly?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by carolinasteve, Oct 14, 2007.

  1. Men:How to lead lovingly?

    First,some background:My wife and I have been married for almost 3 years. We met online, via mtual friends(her best friend new my best friend on line and her best friend suggested she send me a private message cause we both liked Mustangs). She was at that time in a horrible marraige of 5 years with no children. She had no love for him in the beginning, bascially marrying him to get away from her small town and mother. We would talk online for hours on end(several all night sessions,never anything more than friendly conversation and poking fun at each other, but there was no doubt that we clicked. She is a believer in God, and prayed many times for God to lead her out of her marraige. Shortly after we began talking, she felt God tell her it was time to get out, but promises me that she left for that reason alone, and not so she would be free to be with me. Well, anyway, we met in person about a month later(she lived only a couple of hours away, and the minute I put my arms around her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And within a couple of months, she moved to the town I lived in so she could try to continue her persuit of a teaching degree(UNCC has a great educatoin programand is only about 45 minutes away). She moved in with me until she could find another place to stay, which was her stipulation,not mine. Her being able to find a job prevented that. Durring the time we shared as a live in couple, I promised myself to her, to God. Obviously, and not long after her divorce was final, we set a date and we got married. Now we have a baby due in late Novemeber-December.
    . I know she believe's in God, but has been scarred by some people in the past who may have had some not so accurate views of scripture. She also, being the daughter of a single mom, with no good example of a Godly home life, has issues with the idea of being submissive and obedient to her husband, feeling this may be the product of a male dominated society when the Bible was written, and not necessarily from God. She says she prays everyday, but doesnt like in depth discussions of scripture because of her hestacny to accept the BIble as the complete,inerrant Word. She does want us to join and get involved in the church we attend, which happens to be a conventional,conservative Baptist church, although due to her pregnancy she doesnt get much rest at night, and we have missed several weeks of service. I am at just as much fault if not more so I'm not blaming her for anything here.
    My question is this. I love my wife more than anything and she sahres the same love for me.. Our married life has not been exactly easy, as being a single income family can be stressful, but we get along jus as well as we always have, and I would never want to lose her under any cicumstance. I just want us, especially with our first child on the way, to become a God centered family, in the manner that God approves of. How do I, having a hard time when it comes to being a confident leader in anything in my life, assume my role, and encourage her to assume the role that God intends for her, without sounding like I'm trying to dominate her? This is a very touchy subject. I was listening to a online recording of one of Adrean Roger's messages about buidling a beautiful home the other day, and she walked in right when he made the statement," the woman's place is in the home." She actually looked like she got knocked backwards a step. I know that any change is a process, as I am going through spiritual changes right now,desiring more and more to fellowship with God. She also has been drawn in some manner to get closer to God, manifested in her desire to attend church, and her sudden preference(which suprised her) to listen to Christian radio more than her normal secular stations. Any idea would be helpful, as well as prayers for myself to love her as God would have me love her, and for her, to be open to God's instruction. Thanks.( I never know what to say to close a post:eek:)
  2. I am going to pm you a chapter from the book Let's Get Serious. (Quoted with authors permission.) It is too long to quote here. I hope it is of some help.
  3. Thanks for the article, Housesitter. I have read iover, and wil save it to re-read it over and over I'm sure. I guess I should have also mentioned that I really never had an example of a "God-centered" homelife growing up either. I don't want to make it sound like Im critical or placing blame on my wife for anything, I just want to do what I am suppsed to do for our family.
    I guess I need prayer for me and my wife,and our family.Thanks again!
  4. Praying for you now.

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