Marrying A Christian Guy Who Doesn't Have Any Desire To Go To Church.

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by smalltowngirl07, May 24, 2014.

  1. Hi there,

    I am posting to seek advice regarding my boyfriend and whether I should be marrying him...

    We will have dated for 3 years this October.

    He is 22, soon 23, I am 21.
    We love each other and working really well together.
    He has so many incredible qualities. I both admire him, and adore him.

    A few days ago we were talking about our future and marriage.
    He described to me how he doesn't feel "good enough" for me and that he thinks he doesn't meet my "spiritual expectations" in a guy, because he doesn't enjoy going to church and doesn't feel/think he will want to go even when we're married.

    He explains that he is a Christian, he believes in God and finds that he doesn't need to go to a church to be a Christian.

    I agree with this. However, I find that fellowship is so important to grow in your relationship with God (e.g. For encouragement/prayer with others, to learn more about God etc)

    My boyfriend has become my life and everything to me.
    He treats me like a princess and I feel so honoured to be his.

    However, I don't know if I could marry someone who doesn't want to go to church with me each Sunday.

    I feel I'm in a dilemma.
    Should I still be dating him?
    Should I marry him?

    Any advice, or thoughts would be much appreciated!


    Smalltowngirl07 :)
  2. Hi there Smalltowngirl. First I would be asking these things to a pastor but since he doesn't go to church that would be hard. A lot of people can say they are Christian because in their own mine they feel they are. My question for the both of you is, what makes you think that you and your boyfriend are Christians? Not judging you at all just want to get your explanation of it and if both of you agree on that first.

    I had a hard time going to Church for a long time and now that I am right with the Lord I am now finally seeing the error in my thinking. We need to be around other Christians for support and to hold each other accountable. Church is the perfect way to do this. I have found a few friends on this forum and I thank God for them and their advice to me on some things.

    So anyways I'm sure you will get a lot of advice on here and please pray for guidance from God as well.
  3. Saying that your boyfriend is your life and has become everything to you means that he is more important to you than God is. That is a major red flag.

    If he doesn't share the same values as you do and you go ahead and marry him, you will have trouble. A couple can both be Christians and still be unequally yoked.
  4. I don't disagree or agree that he needs to go to church. The real question is does he have a relationship with God? Does he talk about Godly things? Does he pray? Does he know his bible? Does he read his bible? What does he do? Does he watch tv all day? Play video games? What is he reason for not wanting to go to church?

    You will know them by their fruits. So what attributes does he reveal that make you want to marry him?
  5. @smalltowngirl07
    I don't think that him not going to church is a super big deal. In my opinion, it's something that you may be able to overlook...
  6. That your boyfriend is averse to being found regularly fellowshiping in the local church is a major concern and a major red flag of carnality---doing it his way. Remember that when a couple is dating, each is on his and her best behaviour, and even if he doesn't want to go to church, he should at the very least be showing you he does. He obviously isn't interested in pleasing God by obeying Him in this area and he isn't very interested in you thinking highly of him as a spiritual leader in his future family.

    Just imagine what is down the road. If you do not fade in your love for God, you and any children you will have will be part of the church while he stays home and watches NASCAR or something. You appear to be unequal in your spiritual lives now. It is so very easy to pull someone down a staircase than it is for someone to pull an unwilling person up.

    You can't overlook this attitude, unless you want to end up being one of those spiritually single women we see in every church. Ask one of them---they will tell you how sad it is for them.

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