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Married to an agnostic

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Faith-c, Jan 31, 2011.


Are you married to a non-believer of a person of another faith?

Poll closed Feb 7, 2011.
  1. non-believer

    0 vote(s)
  2. another faith

    0 vote(s)
  3. neither

  1. My husband and I have been married for 3.5 years now. Our annaversary is July 14th. Before we got married my husband said that if he could go out his front door and walk into heavan then he would believe in God. Recently the conversation came up again and I had to pretty much pry it out of him, but I wanted to know for myself (I know, kinda selfish) what he thinks now/ if his feelings have changed. He said that he believes there is "something out there" * cue the twilight zone music* a higher power of some kind that created everything and life. He also told me that science can only prove so much. However thats about as far as it goes for him. He hates talking about it, but to me it feels like he's so close yet so far from God. He doesn't know what he's missing. I don't know what I should be doing or not doing. I'm not the kinda of "christian" who trows the book at people, as I don't believe that people who do that are really Christians. We have a 17 month old son named Eli. I wonder about the future and if I'll be alone in teaching our son about Jesus/ God's love. I'm also worried that later Eli will be less likely to have faith if his Daddy doesn't.
  2. Hi Faith-c,

    I have a friend who married a man thinking he was a Christian, only to later discover that he was really a very nominal believer. What changed things for him (and her) was the material from Creation Ministries (http://creation.com) Mind you, her husband was an industrial chemist, so all things scientific interested him. I don't know whether it would work for someone who does not have that bent, but it might be worth a try.


  3. Trust me Faith-C, it is harder for a man to come to the Lord than it is for a woman. By nature women are more nurturing and spiritual. All you other guys out there, don't flame me for that. Men have a hard time of letting go of control. Your husband may not be the control type, but he is inside. He does not want to let go and turn his life over to the Lord, because he doesn't understand the concept or is afraid of the possibility that there is a power beyond comprehension. Somehow, in some way he feels he will lose control. Submission is never easy. I was as stubborn as an old mule about letting go. I had to really take a hard look at things to come to the conclusion that there really is a God, that Jesus is real and my King, that people can be filled with the Holy Spirit. In all my questioning everything pointed to there is a God. Your husband may simple not be ready to let himself go, yet. For now, just love him, gently push him towards the Lord, and pray that he sees the light.

    May I ask a personal question, were you a Christian and him agnostic or non-believer when you were courting and eventually got married?
    seneca likes this.
  4. I think this is where my husband is at also. I'm not pushing, but not hiding either. If I talk about God, he looks at me like a deer in headlights and walks away :) He's getting there.
  5. Just had a thought. There is a book that I recommended somewhere else here on CFS recently, called "The Signature of God" by Grant Jeffrey. It goes through a heap of different evidences that the Bible was indeed authored by God, not by man - some of them are amazing, even to a believer. It might be worth getting - even if it doesn't move your hubby, you will be blessed by it.


  6. Without addressing the unequally yoked thing, I have seen that the absolute best way to teach the Gospel to unbelievers and skeptics is to simply live the life at all times, even when nobody is looking. Nothings changes the heart faster. All the logic and reason in the world is nothing without the love of Christ transforming the life. Give it time, and allow God to work where you cannot.
  7. Thanks everyone I'll try your suggestions. :)
    Hi, Seeking. Yes I knew while we were dating that he wasn't a believer..I don't even think he was agnostic at that time. Now he likes to say he's just "lable-less" but what he told me made me come to the conclusion he is now agnostic.. at least thats a little step.. I think. I realize that its a sin to marrie a non-believer but I was hoping that God would see the lighter side of it. I never judged my husband for his beliefs or non-beliefs. Jugdment is only for God to do. I Preyed that God would guide his heart in the right direction.
    My husband is funny sometimes and he means well but he doesn't realize that he's not making sence sometimes. I have a an example. I fell into a rut one year. I did some bad stuff and I broke down one day and told my fiance at the time (who is my husband now) that I thought I had lost Jesus. He then told me "no you didn't I can still see he's there in you." in such a kind voice. Then I was really upset and said "how cn you say that when you don't even belive in him?" I may have accidently pushed him away. That sucks! To bad I can't rationalise when I'm in tears. Anyway, I'm just trying to show what kind of character my husband has.
  8. lol. Welcome to marriage!!!
  9. You can't force God. Showing Him "excellent" information from the best most devout websites won't make any difference - unless that is how God chooses to speak to him, and when!

    Prayer is where you will make a difference. I speak from a lot of experience. Pray, pray, pray and wait for God to provide the opportunity. Keep in mind, God may not choose you to be the one to make the change.

    So, you just keep being the best Christian example you can be, while praying everytime it crosses your heart. Don't push conversations about religion. Speak when God opens a door and then let it be.

  10. Good morning everyone.

    Faith-C, I don't know if I buy into being unequally yoked is an actual "sin" as some would believe. I do know that it can make things hard in a marriage. But it sounds like you two kind of have a handle on it, and as long as it is not creating huge amounts of strife in your marriage; well that is how it is. As I said earlier, just keep gently pushing him towards the Lord and he may eventually see the light and come around. If he is going to find God, he will do it in his own time. Better that it takes a little longer and come to the Lord with his whole heart and mind; than to go through the motions to get you off his back. Just hang in there. You guys are young, there is plenty of time. The really cool thing about the Lord is that He is a patient and accepting God. So there will room for hubby when he comes around. Stay safe, and God bless you and your family. Great looking kid by the way.
  11. I was brought up to believe that it was a sin. However most people today don't marrie others with the same beliefs. I'll have to look more into that myself.
    Hopfully as I teach Eli it will shead new light for my husband, then maybe God will speak to him. Thanks everyone!
  12. This reminds me of a friend. Some years ago her son was right away from the Lord, didn't want to know anything about God. Yet when any of his friends got into trouble he would tell them, "You need Jesus. Come home with me and Mum will tell you all about it."

    I think some "non-believers" are actually a lot closer to God than they would like to admit - they're just scared to bring it into the open because they know that acknowledging Him will demand a comittment on their part. Maybe your hubby is in that category.


    Faith-c likes this.
  13. that is interesting.
  14. I have to agree about men being more difficult in coming to the Lord. We like to be in control. Granted, when I came to the Lord I was so low that I had no where else to go. :) I had no more reason to want control! haha! In all due seriousness, though, keep praying for him. I have a feeling God is working in your husband's heart and all you need to do is set the example.
  15. I've been trying to be more consious of setting a good example.. I've noticed I need to work on it. I stress easily lately and out those ugly words come.... I'm glad I'm becoming more aware of it though & because of this site really. Can't change what ya don't acknowledge. So I'm workin on it.

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