I have had a tumultuous year and a half. I began dating a girl, a med school classmate, soon after she ended a long term relationship. For about 10 months things were mostly good with moments interspersed where the bad timing resulted in us ending things for a few days or a week. We always got back together. We had a very deep emotional connection often discussing all sorts of topics most notably religion. She is a very devout Christian. It was something I admired and ultimately realized I wanted as I had spent years denying the void I felt in my relationship with The Lord. She eventually said I love you but soon after broke up with me and started dating someone else. For the next 4 months we would periodically have deep conversations about her depression, about us and about our relationship. After breaking up she said she wanted space but would get frustrated if I didn't respond to texts or want to be friends. Eventually I decided to give friends a shot and after a week she decided it wasn't what she wanted and we stopped speaking for 3 weeks. She stopped me one day and said she loved me, had ended her relationship and wantend to be together. This was Easter Sunday. She talked about how she knew I was the guy for her that she wanted to do it for real with me. The next day she freaked out and said she still wanted all those things but needed time to figure things out. I agreed. But when I started seein someone else she went back to he other guy. When I asked her about it she said she meant all the things she had said to me that she was praying for r god to give her a peace of mind about commitment to me but when I found out that she was saying this to me but still dating the other guy we decided to go our separate ways. For the last two months we hadn't spoken until recently and I've decided to try starting friends fresh. She is still with the other guy. I am lost on seeing gods plan for me. I know his plan is perfect and his time is perfect but I love her and hope for a real chance with us but fear I am getting in the way of Gods plan for me. My instincts tell me her feelings were real but that fear and doubt won't let her explore those feelings with me. How do I let go? I pray everyday for healing. I've grown so much closer to god in this process and trust everything in him but fear I'm holding on to something he doesn't have planned.