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living with an alcoholic husband

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by princessdaisy, Jan 13, 2011.

  1. princessdaisy

    princessdaisy New Member

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    I am married to an active alcoholic-- he has been drinking every day for the last 8 years.... It is a struggle when one has to deal with the constant chaos that an alcoholic brings....
    We have 2 children my oldest is 26 and from a previous marriage, and our youngest is 17 and will be graduating this year from high school.... my husband does not think that he has a problem even though every one in our life sees that he has a problem...
    It is a complicated situation and I guess my question is ---- is it wrong to pray for him to hit rock bottom?? so far nothing has "scared" him into seeking help... I am thinking at this point the only thing that is going to scare him to seek help is if he has a medical issue. And he is getting to the point where things are starting to go wrong...
    It is such a serious situation........ he is dying a slow suicide from alcohol......
     
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  2. jonbanjo

    jonbanjo Active Member

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    I think you should just pray that he is helped. God can sort out how it comes about.
     
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  3. Rumely

    Staff Member

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    I agree with Jonbanjo. God knows how best to deal with your husband. Still, if you pray that he will hit rock-bottom, believing that is the best for him, God will either A) agree with you and work to that end, B) tell you to pray differently, or C) will answer according to the intent of your heart and will work in your husband's life according to His wisdom, so pray without fear, doubt, or hesitation and listen for His voice.
     
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  4. Seeking

    Seeking Active Member

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    Princessdaisy, you sound like a Godly caring woman. My experience with substance abusers, be it alcohol or drugs is they must want to change. The traditional wisdom is that the addict must hit bottom before they can decide to reform. In all reality, that does not always work. The streets are full of people that have hit bottom and are still doing what they do that got them there.

    I let a man go at work for his drinking habits. His body was so saturated by alcohol his CNS was essentially shot. He became a danger to the other workers even when he was "sober". We even had an intervention in the shop trying to get him help, he refused. Later, he confided in me that the doctors gave him less than a year or two left due to advance liver disease caused by the alcoholism. In the next breath said he told the doctor "If I can't drink, I don't want to live." I pleaded with him to get help for the drinking, again he refused. For the safety of the other workers, he left me no choice. Understand, I go out of my way to turn a worker around, I do not terminate someone easily. However, this guy threw everything away for the bottle, his family and a job with a caring and generous employer that pays well above average.

    The only way your husband will change is when he wants to change. Until he can find the demon that is directing his path and defeat it through Christ, he will not change.

    Pray for him, keep his best interests in your heart, but do not enable his addiction in any way. That will be incredibly hard. I will pray for you and your husband. Just seek strength in the Lord. I am truly sorry for your situation.
     
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  5. Disciple

    Disciple New Member

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    There is a verse that speaks about living with ungodly people and paul says 'give him over to satan for the destroying of the flesh but the saving of the soul'. Just give him to God and allow God to do what pleases him, I have seen God do amazing things my dad was a drug addict and was reconciled to God one day, God is able and he is with you. And remeber faith without works is dead, try talking to him or bring him to church, but definately let him know how you feel.
    It is written in Peter about wives with unbeleiving husbands, 1 peter 3:1-2; Show your faith by your actions by your love and subjection to him, show your fear of God, and purity(submission to God) through your deeds and conversation.
    And as it is written the husband will be won (meaning he will beleive and be reconciled to God) without the word (meaning he will beleive God without the scriptures, but through your actions, conversation, faith & love he will see the Light in you and repent.
     
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