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Lies to Tell Little Kids

Discussion in 'Books, Music and Television' started by Whirlwind, Feb 8, 2008.

  1. Lies to Tell Little Kids

    I went to a bookstore last night and was browsing when I found a book by Andy something-or-other called Lies to Tell Little Kids.

    I was angry!:mad:

    Then I opened the book...here's some of the things that I can remember...

    - All birds wear little parachutes just in case they forget how to fly.

    - A new sun goes over every day. See that hill? There's a bunch of old suns over that hill. When they cool, people cut them up into blocks and that's where we get margarine.

    - [kid looking into an empty bottle]. Dad tells him: You know, there used to be a ship in that bottle...but it sank.

    - If you say a prayer before you go to sleep, set up a rabbit trap...in the morning you'll have your own little angel to keep as a pet!

    - Scatter some tacks around an ant hill because they use them for umbrellas when it's raining.

    - Of course you didn't see any ghosts while we were back at the castle...they were all on their cigarette breaks!

    - Fish can send text messages...drop mommy's cell phone in the fish bowl and you'll see.

    - Clowns melt at 86-degrees. [shows a picture of a clown-puddle]

    - [Picture of a square] This square has a hidden fifth side that you can only see if you stare at it for a very, very, very long time...

    - All wind comes from wind farms.

    It's a cute book...of course, it's meant as humor. At the end of the book, the author tells you that it's not nice to fib.:p

    Check it out! Had me laughing.
  2. Honestly, these are like the things my grandma used to tell me when I was little.

    My friend, Preston's, dad is just like this! There are no other flowers except Hollyhocks. Every flower arrangement he sees, he taps you on the shoulder and then tells you - did you know those are Hollyhocks? Their seeds can be poisonous, but if you mince them they can make a great tea!

    Just silly stuff like that.

    He's a blast.
  3. Very cute! Sounds like stuff my dad comes up with...

    Hey WW, is that you in the picture?
  4. be careful,when they are older they might think you follow the liar.i know it,s harmless fun,but kids remember.

  5. Yes they do! But they also enjoy a good "fairy tale" when they KNOW it's a fairy tale. There is the fine line.
  6. Kitsap...no, this isn't me. It's my clone. He's the beta-prototype that I fashioned in my lab, hee hee hee.:p

    His name is George. He does all my fun stuff so all that's left for me is the work. :D

    (yeah, it's me :))

  7. I had to ask...you look a lot like one of my husbands cousins...his name is John.
  8. LOL - thanks.

    I don't know why but every once in a while someone will stop me in the store (or once when I worked security at a local vacation resort) and gasp!:eek:

    You look just like so-and-so! They turn to their friends - doesn't he look just like so-and-so!? They'll gather around and gasp! You could be his twin, I'm serious!

    This happens about once every five years or so.

    I usually tell them that I am him and I need to borrow money.

  9. I'm sorry - the book is called "Great Lies to Tell Small Kids" and it's by Andy Riley. My copy cost me 11-bucks and it took about 5 minutes to read through cover to cover.:mad:

    Then I realized that they're just as funny the second time around!:D

    Here some more:

    - Wine makes Mommy clever.

    - If you clean the car we'll give you a pony!

    - Godzilla has every Friday off!

    - You know that mug in the kitchen that says "World's Greatest Dad"? Well, there's only three in existence! They award one mug every 100 years...

    - The tooth fairy had to go to Dracula's castle one night to pick up a fang...but it was so dark, she pricked herself on the fang and now she's a vampire tooth fairy. Anyway, goodnight...

    It's hilarious. Really. Check it out. If you buy the book you even get to see great comic drawings with the funny lies! :)


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