Leaving husband of 28 yrs

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by ajoyfulsound, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. Leaving husband of 28 yrs

    Okay, I have been offered a job which is 12 hours away from home.. I feel that this is a good move for me as the job holds a high status as well as a great take home pay.. I do not feel comfortable with my husband coming, as he has away to bring my self esteem down.. So I suggested he stay here while I go.. Am I wrong for doing this?
  2. I think you should have made this decision 28 years ago.

  3. Search your heart... What does it say? I believe the heart is where God speaks to us. Pray and ask the Lord to show you and be willing to hear everything He has to say and do everything He tells you to do. Only you and He(the Lord) know the whole story, so I can't tell you whether or not you're doing the wrong thing. And I do not want to get into a debate over what constitutes a reason for divorce in the bible(this is more for the other members who might be reading this:D) because Gos knows our hearts and the hearts of our spouses! I will say this: The advantages of this new job(status and pay...) are good but you must follow God's plan for your life and if His plan is not for you to take this job then it will not satisfy and it will be empty! So, again, pray with an open heart and mind and be willing to follow the Lord, not anyone else! He may tell you to do it, or He may not but whatever it is, follow Him!

  4. Thank you both for your input.. It goes well appreciated..

    Schultz I did leave and of course I again went back mistake I can guarantee that.. The man has a good heart but expects to much he does not get that he is responsible for himself and his family..He promises it will change and it never does. He goes to church and plays the game, not something God appreciates or accepts.. Right now I have a few areas to clean up with Gods help and then make the proper decision..Again with Gods help..
  5. WWJHYD- What Would Jesus Have You Do? Nothing else matters and anything else will be a disaster- selah.
  6. Hey there, I feel that you should do what's best for you.
  7. That is rarely (if ever) the will of God in anything. He calls us to lay down our lives, prefer others in love and be a servant.
  8. AMEN! God always has a purpose! As a woman I would never minimize an abusive situation or advise anyone to stay in it. And bare in mind, abuse does not always mean physical abuse! There are all kinds of abusive ways. That being said, as Christians we must look beyond feelings and always ask the Lord what to do. He gives us the strength we need to be in any situation He asks us to be in!

  9. Search the scriptures! Why would you want to leave your husband? Unless he is abusive, commited adulatory! To leave a husband or a wife just to get away from someone who tears our self esteem down sounds somewhat selfish. Their must be more to this then you have shared.

    Just like Larry has said; What would Jesus have you to do?
  10. I have taken the time to speak with my pastor as well as read the bible.. Yes God hates devorce but he also does not wish his children to be abused.. My husbands issues are his to deal with and he knows the proper way.. I can not make his decisions and or change him but I can take the time to change mine.. Leaving is one thing as long as it is Gods will I know for me it is important that my husband learn to find his heart in Christ as it is my reasponsibility to do the same.. I will leave it here for now and just get into what the season is about.. The birth of our almighty king Jesus.. Deb
  11. Hello, everyone I have decided to stay home.. God has opened amazing doors right here for me and my husband..

    1) My husband injured himself at work 8 years ago and Compensation is finally going to close a deal with him..
    2) God opened the door for us to purchase a local kennel facility

    And the list goes on.. Some times we have to take us out of the situation and place GOD IN!
  12. Sister, I think that was a wise decision. I am glad to see you and your husband stay together.

  13. Jesus doesn’t care about the status of the job.
    Jesus doesn’t care about the take home pay either.
    They are both insignificant and not required to be a good Christian.

    Jesus cares about our obedience to the word.

    Self esteem is not dictated by what other people do or say.
    Our self esteem is dictated by how we receive what other people do or say.
    Your self esteem comes from within, not without.

    You can’t really blame your self esteem on your husband. He doesn’t have the power to change you in any way, shape or form.
    Jesus is the one who can change us.
    The hard part at times, is letting him.

  14. Amen my friend. He is a healer and a restorer.:) His ways are perfect.
  15. So happy for you. What a glorious God we serve! Thank you Jesus for intervening in this marriage. :jesus-sign:
  16. I honestly think that we all need a good dose of what God's Covenent means. I do agree that in a physically abusive situation there should be seperation of some sort until counselling takes place to work on making the marriage work. However, we have to remember the promise we made that through better or worse, richer or poorer.. etc.. Divorce or seperation should be ultimate last resort and only with the exception of adultry or if it becomes physically dangerous. Not because of a job.
    When you truley pray about a situation and seek God's face and authority, you will find he will take you places you never imagined! I am EXCITED to hear that you decided to stay and let God be the center of your marriage!!!!! THAT made my day!

    One more thing, and I apologize this is quickly put, as I have company and need to get back, but I have to say this. A woman should not look to her husband for her self esteem. If a woman will seek God totally, she can find her esteme in Him, not in how people treat her. Trust me, that is a lesson I learned as I too went through a physical, emotional abusive situation AND low self esteme which I blamed on my ex husband. Once I got passed the esteme part and realized what my identity was in Christ, then was I able to withstand alot!

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