Law court jokes [FONT="]These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident. A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes. Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir. Q: What did she say? A: What disco am I at?[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? [/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. [/FONT] [FONT="]Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.[/FONT] [FONT="]Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.[/FONT] Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.