'Knowing' Jesus? Greetings all, Sorry this post got so lengthy- I just couldn't seem to condense it down any more... I came from a childhood home that was cynical, pessimistic and mostly joyless. I was never abused and I was certainly loved, but that love wasn’t really expressed. My parents and sibling were more like house-mates than family. The message was pretty much that the world isn’t a safe or loving place, that no one can be trusted, and any acceptance I was to achieve in life would have to earned. To this day I struggle as an adult with this deep-seated idea that I have to impress people and somehow excel and prove myself in order to be acceptable to them, but that I can never adequately do so. As an adult, I of course know this to be a completely faulty view, but it’s so intertwined into my personality that it’s always there, kind of like a physical deformity that can’t be denied. I became a believer some 25+ years ago, but for about half of that time I lived as a ‘worldly Christian’- not really committed to God above all else. I know I'm a sinner, redeemed by Jesus Christ, and I expect to stand joyfully before Him on that day, clothed in the righteousness He purchased for me on the cross. I believe the bible in it's entirety to be God's word and to be true. I'm a member of a firmly bible-based, evangelical church with a small but open and loving congregation. I teach adult SS classes there on a fairly regular basis. As all Christians do, I struggle with the old sinful nature, but God has and continues to change me in un-dramatic but undeniable ways, and for that I am inexpressibly thankful to Him. Having said all that... I've struggled for years to understand what it really means to 'know' Jesus. I hear people talk all the time about ‘knowing’ Jesus and about their ‘personal relationship’ with Him. I hear the same terms used that would be used to describe ‘knowing’ another person- a dear friend, a spouse, child, neighbor etc. They talk about Jesus and His love as if He were physically present with them. I am not implying that these kind of descriptions are un-biblical. However, I feel like I’ve missed something important here- my experience of Jesus seems to be all head and little heart. I mean It’s more about knowing about Jesus and his love, than it is about knowing Him in the sense that I could know a deeply loved person. I can have heart-to-heart talks with my wife, and we share many other expressions of our love for one another. But what does it mean to know Jesus and his love in a this kind of deeply personal way? To my dismay, I even sometimes wonder if I’m really saved if my belief is factual but not experiential. I would very much appreciate others’ thoughts. Am I alone in this experience, or are there others as well? I know the message of the bible and especially the gospels is about God’s indescribably great love for and mercy toward us. However, as foundational as God’s word is, just by itself quoting scripture passages speaking of God’s love haven’t really been that fruitful for me so far.