Kissing Before Marriage?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by 1cor1313, Jul 2, 2012.

  1. Hello and thank you for reading my post. I'll try to keep it short!
    When I was younger, sometime in my early teens, I had read about someone who saved her first kiss for her engagement and I decided that the idea seemed very romantic and became attached to it. The decision had nothing to do with my religious beliefs, but eventually it became a part of who I was. In following years, I was always very careful about getting involved with any boys because I didn't really know how to deal with wanting to kiss but trying to save that at the same time. The summer after I graduated high school, I started to "date" a guy that I considered to be just a friend. I didn't know it at the time, but both of us were in this pseudo-relationship for the same (and wrong) reasons. We were both in love with the idea of being in a relationship. I got caught up in the new experiences and one night he asked if he could kiss me. I knew that if I said yes, it would go against everything I had planned for myself as well as breaking with who I am. But I also really wanted to experience a kiss, and as much as I hate to admit it, I was 18 and wanted to be able to say that I had my first kiss. So in the end, we did kiss. Immediately, I knew that I had done wrong because I realized that I was not just living a lie, but that I was using someone else. Not to mention that I was very disappointed in myself for giving in to temptation. I ended up breaking it off with that guy the same night.
    Sometime after that, I re-examined the idea of kissing and I came to see it in a new light. I decided to save my next kiss not for engagement, but for marriage. This time, my decision is more tied to religious considerations. I made this decision not only for the reason of not having that extra little temptation to fall into sin, but also because I think that it is a way to show that special someone that you're willing to save everything and deny yourself something that you want - all because of that person. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against other people kissing before marriage or engagement!
    My dilemma is that since I made that decision, though I still feel strongly about it, it's 4 years later and I've met someone that I care about. We aren't currently in a relationship because we're in different parts of the country, but we will be living in the same city soon so I do anticipate a relationship to grow between us. The last time we were in the same city, he began to kiss me on the cheek to say hello and goodbye. I took that as something fairly innocent, so I didn't bother to go into my long explanation of not kissing (on the lips), but I'm going to have to tell him if we do begin a relationship. I have no doubt that he'll respect my decision and help me to hold to it (the temptation to kiss him is already strong enough while we're living in different parts of the country!). The problem is that while I do feel strongly about not kissing before marriage, I'm trying to re-examine my feelings on it and try to figure out if I feel strongly because of the reasons I stated earlier or because I'm still subconsciously trying to punish myself/make up for my earlier mistake.
    In re-thinking all of this, I started to wonder what other people think about the topic, so I guess my question to all of you is what your opinions are regarding kissing before marriage? The question isn't directly related to my own story, but feel free to comment on that if you'd like.
    God bless!
  2. The act of kissing is a very personal matter and is, indeed, worthy of all the consideration you have given to it. There are many different facets that can be examined and the subject is so large it can, literally be talked to death. I feel that you have made a solid choice that is God honoring and that you should hold to it. Some will, possibly, chide you for your previous failure but it is essential that you ignore them and always remember that your God is the God of second chances and new beginnings.

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