]I feel ignored b/c...I try to seek Him, maybe im not doing it well enough ..or with all my heart, I long to just hear God talk to me on the regular basis , rather than here and there. and what really ticks me off is..when my other church members..talk about what God has told them or shown them....when God hasn't told or shown me anything! It just frustrates me... b/c..it seems like I have to work hard for something basic , just to hear God, when it comes almost naturally to them. And I wonder..why must I strain myself to do what everyone else can do so well, why do I have to be the only one, out of our group.I feel like Im singled out...in a way, and it irritates me. Then my cousin heard from the Lord while she was showering..and it kinda pissed me off b/c she doesn't really read much or pray to God (right now Im living w/ her so i not just saying this... but i know the Lord is working on her to bring her closer to Him..) I should feel happy that she's getting closer to Him..but I just feel jealous and angry b/c... I want to know God on a deeper level , and she ...well, she just doesn't seek Him like I do. Not saying that I seek Him wholeheartedly..b/c i don't ..it's just I wonder why he'd talk to her before me (not saying that Im all that b/c Im not.. Im not) its just he seems to go after her more than he does me......If I/ when I backslide.....its like he barely notices...he doesn't say much.... :/ but with my other members he communicates w/ them and tells them to stop, when my other cousin turned away.. he said the lord spoke to Him saying" I chose you...." and caused some type of out break on His skin...b/c of his disobedience..He still he some of his scars... and im like , really God..honestly.. Idk ..I feel as if He looks over me out of my church group.And I feel somtimes Im workin g for peanuts. Idk I just wonder why he wants me to strain myself for the basic things (hearing his voice,feeling his presence..ect) when He just seem to give it freely to the others...idk it doesn't seem fair to me. pls help?