Keep attracting/ being attracted to non-Christians

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by jmilly, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. what do i do if i find myself keep being attracted to non-Christians, and in turn attracting them? I'd really like to know how to deal with this.
    my last one was an attractive Jewish guy who i see almost every day who has some random things in common with me. I have decided recently to avoid him. but it really got me thinking about this...
  2. Make a list of what is important to you:

    Maybe #1 should be 'Born again/ saved Bible believer' for example.

    and stick with it.

    Make your list in accordance to God's Word. Make what is in your list attractive to you.
    Elizabeth Lambino likes this.
  3. I had a lot of difficulty with that when I was younger. I don't anymore. I know that if I were to get into a relationship with an unbeliever, we'd have nothing fundamental in common. I want someone who I can talk to about the Lord's things, someone who can understand and appreciate those things. That's become more and more important to me - I suppose, in proportion to how important the Lord is to me. Sadly, I'm still single and haven't found a believer to marry, but at least now I know what I'm looking for in a wife.
    jmilly likes this.
  4. Matthew 6:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. God won't settle for less. He will give the best for us.
    Grant Melville, jmilly and Euphemia says Amen and like this.
  5. haha, that's what i think about when I think about not liking my current crush. I think that this guy isn't the one, and don't I want "God's best"? who will be someone even more handsome and more compatible and everything I have ever hoped for? Sometimes when you meet someone you're really attracted to it's hard to imagine there might be somebody else even better.
  6. No not really - I know many girls who thought they had Mr right the Gift of God and inside they were rotten to the core. Nothing like having this allso cool looking guy steppen out on you every chance they get.

    The point being..........God knows their Heart and motives........we dont !!
    Believe me - Been there done that got several T shirts...........Insisted I knew better then God.
    KingJ likes this.
  7. Then how am I supposed to know who is right for me??
  8. I suppose, in a practical sense, the right person would be someone who shares your convictions - someone who's a believer, first and foremost, but someone who's also equal to you spiritually. By that, I mean someone who has the same level of dedication to the Lord as you do. Someone who's a faithful believer, who loves the Lord Jesus whole-heartedly and wants to be a good testimony to Him... well, they aren't going to be a good match for a worldly believer. Some believers are truely saved, but have never got much beyond that. They have very little valuation for divine things and as such they get drawn back into the world. Linking on with someone like that will drag you down to their level, much as you might try to raise them to yours.

    I think that's how you'd know, once you'd got to know a person, whether they're right for you or not. I don't think there's any way of telling unless you get to know them first. If you pray about it, if it's His will, God will send someone suitable your way.
    Elizabeth Lambino and jmilly say Amen and like this.
  9. Thanks. Do you think the fact that my current crush, this attractive non-believer who has a lot of stuff in common with me, who I must see daily (he is the subject of my other thread about trying to distance myself from my crush) was placed in my life for a reason? like was this a "temptation"? or just a random coincidence? I mean I can't imagine that God put in him my life unless he was putting me to the challenge? If that's a stupid question, sorry.
  10. That definitely isn't a stupid question, not at all. I don't think anything comes into our lives through chance. God's hand is over it all, He allows whatever happens to us. His reasons for it might not be entirely clear, even if we pray about it. Sometime it's His way of teaching us to trust Him unquestioningly.

    If it is a temptation, then we have a scripture for that:

    "No temptation has taken you but such as is according to man's nature; and God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above what ye are able to bear, but will with the temptation make the issue also, so that ye should be able to bear it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

    God knows our limits, and He won't allow us to be tested beyond them. He also makes the "issue" - the escape from or end of the temptation, and that's how we deal with temptation, by using the resources that God has given us.

    This is undoubtedly a testing situation. If we're tested and we come through the test in dependence on God, He'll bless us for it. If we fail and stumble, He'll lift us up and restore us to a better place than we were before, having learned a bit more about His ways. Either way, we learn and grow in our appreciation of Him. Trials and tests might be painful for us, but, looking back on them, we invariably see that they were intended for our blessing.
    Elizabeth Lambino likes this.
  11. Prayer - praying- listening- accepting His answer.
    Elizabeth Lambino likes this.
  12. Brother God allows things because we have free will to choose things but it does NOT in any way make it His will or His plan or His hand is NOT on everything......
    By that thinking - the theif comes to steal , kill and destroy - God must have allowed it - So Gods hand was on it then God had a purose for it ? We know that is not true at all.
    God Bless
  13. Well, Jim, don't you think that God is in control, over all? I believe that He is, and that He allows the enemy certain scope - for a limited time - to operate. If I'm tempted, tested, undergo a trial, then I have to conclude that God has permitted it for my blessing ultimately. The Lord says to Peter, "Satan has demanded to have you, to sift you as wheat, but *I* have besought for thee that thy faith fail not; and *thou*, when once thou hast been restored, confirm thy brethren." - (Luke 22:31-32). Satan was allowed a little scope with Peter, but not to have him completely. It was enough to teach Peter about the frailty of his own flesh, an exercise which ended with bitter weeping (v 62). And Peter was restored, wonderfully so, and went on to confirm the brethren. So, yes, a murderous thief is permitted of God to kill and to steal - but there will be a reckoning in due time, if he doesn't repent and be saved. His actions are not from God, nor motivated by God, but allowed of God. That said, we cannot possibly trace anything evil to God's hand. James assures of that in his epistle:

    "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for, having been proved, he shall receive the crown of life, which He has promised to them that love him. Let no man, being tempted, say, I am tempted of God. For God cannot be tempted by evil things, and himself tempts no one." - James 1:12-13

    That bears out the point that temptation does come, and not from God Himself, though everything is under His control. We see that in Job, don't we? Satan was allowed free reign with Job, but it fulfilled God's purposes. It showed Job what his flesh was - be it the most righteous, pious and upstanding flesh, it was still flesh. Job had to go through so many painful exercises, but he ended up with many blessings because of it.

    The believer is in God's hand, under His protection and care. Whatever happens to the believer can only happen to them if God allows it - otherwise the most mighty efforts of the enemy couldn't have even the slightest effect.
    Elizabeth Lambino likes this.
  14. Grant I will get back to you on this but over all I will say NO I dont think, believe or know so. ;)
    Grant not everything is under Gods control. If you believe God is in control of everything here on earth then God is killing babies with tornados and God is raping and molesting little children and everything you say and do is Gods will after all He is in control of everything.
    That is easy to see where that thinking comes from.

    I will respond later..HOWEVER this may not be the propper place to do so. We dont want to be hi-jackers of this thread. Know what I mean ....
    Blessings Brother
    jmilly likes this.
  15. Brother, you're right - we best not hijack this thread and draw it off topic. I will just point out though that God "makes his sun rise on evil and good, and sends rain on just and unjust." (Matthew 5:45). He is over all, supreme, but He does not, by any means, condone all that is done. There is still what is evil and unjust.
  16. I was enjoying the hijacking! ;-)
    well I have been avoiding this guy and it feels tense. All I want to do is approach him and apologize for being so distant (we were friends after all and I just have been avoiding him now)
  17. #17 KingJ, Aug 21, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2015
    We all just need to face the reality that someone who has not accepted Jesus is someone who has not accepted Jesus.

    Accepting Jesus = full submission to Him = selflessness. Rejecting Jesus = living for self = pride.

    If you are in the desert with an unsaved hunk and one glass of water, you will go thirsty and think of him as the worst man on earth. If you are in the desert with a saved man who happens to be the ugliest and poorest man on earth, you will get that water and think of him as the best man on earth. That IS the bottom line. The unsaved are NOT good people, if they were they '''would'' accept Jesus. A good upbringing helps one to dress well and hide their evil heart from all / appear good....but evil is evil and it hits us hardest when we are down and vulnerable. If your father is the devil....your father is the devil. The devil is not a good guy. If he was God would not have a problem with him. The saved must have nothing to do with the unsaved, except for trying to convert them.
    Elizabeth Lambino likes this.
  18. This guy was placed in your life for you to witness to or the devil lead him to you. Only the steps of the righteous are lead by the Lord Psalm 37:23. Ie God would not lead someone to you who is not His to be lead.
    jmilly likes this.
  19. Pray, ask God about it and trust Him. As Luke 18:1 states: And he spoke a parable to them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint.
    I know it is difficult especially when emotions is involved but always remember: 1 John 5:4
    For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.
    Trust God, He is always in control.
    jmilly and Grant Melville say Amen and like this.
  20. Thanks all for the wonderful replies
    I definitely feel as if the fact that he is leaving town (did I mention that?) is an answer to my prayers. And the fact that I am stressed about what will likely be his going-away get-together is telling. I think it would be best for me to skip it, but here I am worried about hurting the guy's feelings or whatever. you know, he and I were friendly and I spent a LOT of this time knowing him trying to be better friends with him (well in reality to get closer to him) and then I just feel like I am obligated to attend his going away. I bet other people don't fret about such things. I know I shouldn't worry, but I don't know if I have ever done something like this before - avoided someone I am attracted to. this is very new for me. I have spent sooo much time thinking about him and trying to find ways to make him like me, and part of me feels like it's such a waste. I feel like i've wasted all this time.
    I am glad that he's leaving because i know it's best for me, but I guess i still have that 'what if" in the back of my head.

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