I am, so a German I can tell this joke: Jesus frequented a hospital. There are a Frenchman, an American, a Scotsman and a German in the hospital. "I can cure all of you if you want", said Jesus. The Frenchman: "I have severe pains in the arm". Jesus touches his arm and the arm is healthy again. The American: "My back is so painfull for me". Jesus touches his back and the American does not have any pains. The Scotsman: "I have stomach ache". Jesus touches his belly and the Scotsman is well again. Jesus then turns round to the German. The German says: Not touches me merely "! I am certified as ill for four weeks "!