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Jesus sent me a Christian Girl (story time) Need life advice

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Alang, Sep 23, 2014.

  1. So I've always prayed for to Jesus to send me a good Christian girl .... one I can read the bible with and go to church and talk about Christianity ..etc. Im 22 and always failed ... girls would pretend like they had Jesus in they're heart than the true colors would always come out. So I work at a bar ... have been for over a year and just moved to this bar/club closer to my house. Normally I would never get a girls number at work but last month I think a prayer was answered.

    I was at work on the usual Saturday night just standing outside on the patio watching the crowd making sure no one fights. I saw these two girls and one really caught my attention. Beautiful blonde girl with green eyes. Im basically leaning on the walk way just posted watching everyone and I notice her keep looking at me as well. We locked eyes and kept looking away. Eventually her and her friend moved right next to me very discreetly. It still didnt process in my head because I didnt think a girl like that would like me.

    Anyways her friend goes to the bathroom and the Blonde girl is just standing their alone to the right of me. She was sober and looked so out of place and bored. So this guy comes up and hits on her and she politely rejects him. After I saw that I made up my mind I wouldnt go talk to her ..plus the fact she was in the club. Her friend comes back from the bathroom and than these really drunk guys come up on them and start hitting on them and wouldn't back off ... at this point I was like man they look very scared I better step in. So I grab both of them and say "theyre with me guys" and they all backed off. The blond girl starts thanking me and we start talking 1 on 1. Turns out her friend had dragged her to the bar and she never goes out drinking or partying.

    I get her number and ask her out on a date. Purposely wear a Jesus tank top and when we were on the date she goes "I love your tank top" and I start asking her about her religion. She tells me she takes her and her kids to church every week and never miss it and how she feels horrible not going. Even said her kids cry when shes not feeling good and cant make it to church. Told me she even felt bad showing up to church the next day after that night at the bar but her friend really dragged her out because she didn't want to be lonely. As we talk more Im amazed at how much chemistry there was between us. She never goes out and parties she just stays at home and takes care of her kids and practices her faith.

    I pulled the ultimate test which always fails with most girls. Brought her back to my house at 2 am ... we go in my bedroom she doesn't do anything we just continue talking .... knew right than and their she wasnt putting up a front .... she was really a good Christian girl. Ever since we've been hanging out we watch bible sermons on T.V and talk about Jesus ... never got the opportunity to talk about Jesus with a girl.

    She told me yesterday she feels like God answered her prayer and I was thinking the same exact thing. Only problem is my parents are middle eastern and hate me dating they would never allow it. She makes a good living and supports herself and her kids ... told me im always welcomed in her home. Would it be considered disobeying your parents in this situation if I still continue seeing her. My parents would only let me date after I got a good degree which wont happen lol. I want to go with my gut feeling on this one because I have feelings for this girl. I dont want to throw away what potentially is a life changing opportunity .

    Forgot to mention she was in an abusive relationship and her ex husband made her miserable ... shes been through some rough times.
  2. Wait, what happens if she had failed your test? Plus, put yourself in her dad's shoes (also a daughter of God) how would you feel about a boy taking your daughter to his house a 2am to "test" her? Would that pass a father's test?

    Second thing to consider... I don't want to give my opinion about being with a divorced woman, but I would recommend reading any Bible verses about it, and praying to God before you make any final decisions.

    #3 Honor your parents, is what scripture says. I think you should be open with your parents, and would not recommend trying to hide this relationship or any relationship you have in the future with them. Instead you should seek their advice. How long have your parents been married? I bet they have some wisdom they could share with you when it comes to relationships. :coffee:
  3. I honestly think shes such an innocent girl she wasnt even thinking about anything sexual coming over ...plus I kept insisting to her. She wouldnt pass fathers test ... you gotta remember my parents are from Iraq.... the definition of "Love" is different in that country ... they brought they're beliefs and culture here and its good but not always right. They saw me kiss her goodbye today from he upstairs window ... and it was world war 3 in my house ... told her she was a great girl and as usually they didnt care nor listen to anything I said. About the divorced thing ... It really doesnt bother me as long as the person has a good heart.
  4. Pray and fast.
    Don't rush.
    Seek God's face on the matter.
    Pray that if it is not God's perfect will for you - the "Door will close"...
    Pray that if it IS God's perfect will for you - that He will open the door....

    Being married to the wrong person is something that will destroy your life, your peace, and your relationship with God.
    Alang likes this.
  5. Amen ... have been praying. Hope this works out
  6. If she was divorced for unbiblical reasons, I would be careful. If it's a unbiblical divorce, you don't want to stand in her way of reconciling with her ex-husband.
  7. She dviorced because he abused her physically and mentally .... the poor girl. When I call her "babe" Or "beautiful" she gets the chills and has this huge smile... its so sad

    She has such a good heart ... walking around the city at night the other day and she handed out so much money to homeless as we walked .... always corrects me when I accidentally curse .. shes always trying to do the right thing basically .
  8. Shame. No wonder it was WW3.

    You should have been respectable.
  9. I am simply livid over this and cannot stop thinking about what you have done to this girl. I cannot believe you would do such a thing as to treat her as if she were a common woman of ill repute.

    Now, there is no doubt you will never be allowed to marry her as your parents will never approve of you marrying such a girl. So basically, what you have done is run around with this girl to satisfy your own boredom in the end to throw her out.

    How is that even a little bit respectable behavior toward this girl? Or toward yourself? Now BOTH of you have tarnished reputations, as a result of YOUR behavior toward her innocence.

    My husband, an American Christian, never once even looked upon my face prior to our marriage. And here you are, treating this girl like she is a woman of ill repute... and you know it even if she does not!
  10. I dont get it ? What did I do that was so wrong
  11. You did not respect her in front of your parents! You made her look like a ... a.... immoral woman in their eyes! How will they react should you then ask them that you want to marry her? They will not be happy because a good woman is who, in their eyes, should be raising their grandchildren!

    You should have offered her the respect to be able to hold her head up in front of your family! Instead you disrespected her in front of them!

    She does not know, nor obviously understand, the cultural differences!

    Not only that, but you didn't act as if you believe in God. A Godly man would not behave in such a manner toward a woman! You took her to your bedroom? Is this something God would have you do?

    This is a sad thing! You are young yes, but you should know better than such things!
  12. What are you talking about? My parents havent even met her yet ... they were asleep when we got to my house that night
  13. [​IMG]

    Thats us
  14. I'm slightly less upset with you... but still... that wasn't good behavior. I'm glad she is a good woman.

    I will consider and give you some advice on dealing with your parents a bit later. But they will be extremely difficult to win over. She will have to learn your culture in order to deal with your mother.

    And you will have to speak to your parents also. But... give me some more time to think on it then. You will have to have a good plan going into that conversation!
  15. I just dont get what upsets you lol I didnt disrespect her in any way ?? My parents were flipping out yesterday when she came over they were like ... you need to stop bringing her because your gonna catch feelings for her .... trust me arabic parents will never be ok with this kind of thing
  16. She is a beautiful girl, but perhaps you should take down her picture. She may not want it up on the internet.

    Quick question... does your mother speak English?
  17. I was born and raised Muslim... I understand parents well. :)
  18. Ill take it down in a bit .... yea she does .... they're very stubborn though .... believe me you have no idea lol
  19. She is the same religion, so this is a plus. She is divorced, so this is a downside. She already has children, this also will be a downside. She is not your cousin, so this is also a downside - should you have much in common with most middle easterners.

    You have to go on the fact that she is the same religion. Up play all her good attributes, and respect your parents wishes and stop bringing her around for a while.

    Your good grades in college will help. If you see her and start doing poorly in your studies they will blame her. I think by the time you have a degree you could get them into allowing marriage.


    If you cannot, you will be choosing between her and your parents.
  20. I know you are thrilled to have finally met a young woman who is serious about her faith, but I am actually very concerned about your situation for several reasons:

    1. She seems to already trust you and is practically giving you her heart. No doubt she is as thrilled as you are to feel like she's found a good guy, especially after her past. This may seem like a good thing, but once things reach this point you have the potential to completely devastate her emotionally if things don't "work out." In other words, go slowly!

    2. You are setting yourself up for an inevitable conflict with your parents. I don't know how to avoid this, but again I think you will have to go slowly! Hopefully others will have more wisdom about this situation.

    3. I am not a fan of your "test." Do you really want to bring a woman who is not your wife into your bedroom in the middle of the night or at any other time? First of all, you are practically begging for temptation. It is like someone on a diet going into the donut shop to look at the donuts without breaking his or her diet. It would be much easier to stick to the diet by avoiding the donut shop. Furthermore, anyone who sees a woman going into your house, much less your bedroom, in the middle of the night is going to draw conclusions about what the two of you are doing. You don't have to do anything for her reputation, and yours, to be damaged.

    When you are alone with a woman, you are responsible for her honor! I repeat, you are responsible for her honor! Even appearances of impropriety can damage her honor. My biggest regret from my relationship with my wife prior to getting married is that I didn't protect her honor as much as I should have. I rationalized my actions by telling myself that we weren't sinning based on technicalities, but I was really deceiving myself. Some people might think it's not a big deal because we got married anyway, but it's a big deal to me.

    I'm not trying to imply that you are a terrible person here, I just want you to be careful.
    Robine likes this.

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