I've Cherished Sin In My Heart

The only thing I can do is be honest and confess, to God and to myself... I have loved a particular sin. It's lust for seeing women in men's magazines.

The bible says I can't get prayer through to God, or He won't listen, if I cherish sin in my heart. So I have looked at Jesus, who gave His life for me. And I'm continuing to look to Jesus and the cross.

I surprised myself when I let go of all my inhibitions about this, and I was honest .. God already knew how I felt about this sin before I did. I was trying to hide from myself how I felt about it, because I wanted to be right with God, and not admit that I am as in poor shape as I am in. Somehow I wanted to be right in His eyes, so I stuffed the desire I have for this stuff - but it eventually comes out in some fashion or another.

My main desire is to be able to pray again, to have God listen to me and consider me and my prayer. This addiction is so weird, too. For 5-6 days I'm not lusting, and when I get the urge, it's too hard to handle on my own... so I try to walk in the Spirit. But I fail utterly. Maybe it's because I haven't confessed to God (until now) how much I've loved this sin over Him. I've committed idolatry and adultery. Since I was in my twenties. Twenty years later, the addiction is still as strong as ever.

But I don't desire to break God's laws. I pray for God's will to be done in my life concerning this (and everything else). Such a struggle!!
 
First, I can tickle your mind with a solution, but it depends on what you do with this information. God isn't interested in behavioral modification but heart transformation. It'd be easy to throw verses at you, get you to do "1,2,3" but none of that matters. What matters is Jesus and what He did on the cross for you and who you are in Him. You have an identity crisis. You do not believe in your heart the things God has done for you. It's that simple. Sure you have a desire not to sin, and while it may be from the heart, your head is still dictating what you're doing and you lack the power to cease from sin.

2 Peter 2:14 (KJV)
Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children:

Hebrews 6:1-2 (KJV)
Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

Strong verses. So what's the key? Simple, you must take control of your mind.

Romans 12:2 (KJV)
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

But HOW!? Here ya go... THE most important verses for a real Christian:

2 Corinthians 10:3-6 (KJV)
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; ) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.

Stronghold: a place that has been fortified so as to protect it against attack.

A stronghold in your life is the stinking thinking you've been doing because you were either taught that way by your parents, siblings, teachers, preachers and society through TV, movies and radio. You have to choose what you believe in your heart: the garbage of the world or the word of God. You take the word of God, meditate on each of the verses I've posted (it should take you about a month).

So I don't have to repeat myself, read what I told CosmicWaffel: http://www.christianforumsite.com/threads/lust.38468/page-5#post-332756

Meditate on God's word. Have a song in your heart. Pray without ceasing. All these things say "focus on Me and not the world." It is indeed hard when we're bombarded with TV, radio, internet, smart phones, families, friends, ... Romans 7 works this out. The war within is in the mind. Some thoughts are a result of the flesh, others from the devil. Either way, if you choose not to think on those things, take them captive and reject them.

Philippians 4:6-9 (KJV) Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

It's a moment-by-moment struggle but the more you take control of your thoughts the more active your mind will be and then the more you can resist. We are taught to be passive in our thinking, but God wants us to be proactive in our thinking. Why?

Proverbs 23:7a (KJV) For as he thinketh in his heart, so [is] he: ...

Think about this verse. All throughout the Scriptures it talks about the heart of man. In English we say "let's get to the heart of the matter". The "heart of man" is the soul, the being of who we are. I hope this helps :)
 
Decide who you want to serve, your flesh or God. It really is that simple. Once you've decided you are for God then steer clear of any chance of you breaking, avert your eyes, don't let your mind wander, don't go into tempting situations, etc... Use every ounce of willpower to not succumb to lust. Don't ever justify it while in temptation, know you aren't in a clear mind, find a distraction whether that be push-ups or whatever. There is your simple answer. It worked for me when I was addicted to porn, the principles are sound, now you just have to take action.
 
Decide who you want to serve, your flesh or God. It really is that simple. Once you've decided you are for God then steer clear of any chance of you breaking, avert your eyes, don't let your mind wander, don't go into tempting situations, etc... Use every ounce of willpower to not succumb to lust. Don't ever justify it while in temptation, know you aren't in a clear mind, find a distraction whether that be push-ups or whatever. There is your simple answer. It worked for me when I was addicted to porn, the principles are sound, now you just have to take action.

I've already declared I want to serve God and not my flesh. And I am slowly believing what God has done for me. Use every ounce of willpower??? That is no way to get to the root of a heart problem. I've got a wounded heart where the enemy planted lies, and I believed them. I was abused and traumatized. I am slowly healing. But willpower? Give me a break. Let your own righteous willpower save you then.

Christ has indeed forgiven me, and the Holy Spirit is the only One who can heal me. Not willpower. And I have faith He will.

I started reading a book by Marcus Warner called "Understanding the wounded Heart." When a heart is betrayed or hurt, by some kind of action or trauma, it's like plowing up ground deep in the soil. There are two sowers. The good farmer, or God, and the devil. As many people are unbelievers young in life, the tares grow over the wheat. The person believes the lies that came from the pain of the wound. And like most people, he makes certain he never feels that way again. This is when a stronghold is created. Depression, addictions, and all kind of coping mechanisms take place here. It is God who has to come to the aid. And God heals the wounds.
 
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I've already declared I want to serve God and not my flesh. And I am slowly believing what God has done for me. Use every ounce of willpower??? That is no way to get to the root of a heart problem. I've got a wounded heart where the enemy planted lies, and I believed them. I was abused and traumatized. I am slowly healing. But willpower? Give me a break. Let your own righteous willpower save you then.

Christ has indeed forgiven me, and the Holy Spirit is the only One who can heal me. Not willpower. And I have faith He will.

I started reading a book by Marcus Warner called "Understanding the wounded Heart." When a heart is betrayed or hurt, by some kind of action or trauma, it's like plowing up ground deep in the soil. There are two sowers. The good farmer, or God, and the devil. As many people are unbelievers young in life, the tares grow over the wheat. The person believes the lies that came from the pain of the wound. And like most people, he makes certain he never feels that way again. This is when a stronghold is created. Depression, addictions, and all kind of coping mechanisms take place here. It is God who has to come to the aid. And God heals the wounds.
Amen, God heals the broken. There's the root sin issue to deal with, but also a 20 year habit leaves a physical impression on the brain every bit as real as physical damage from a stroke. Will be praying for your healing in heart and mind, brother. Accountable accountability (someone for you to give account to who is themselves accountable to someone else) can be really encouraging and helpful as you walk through this, be it Christian counselor or pastor with counseling accountability set up.
 
Amen, God heals the broken. There's the root sin issue to deal with, but also a 20 year habit leaves a physical impression on the brain every bit as real as physical damage from a stroke. Will be praying for your healing in heart and mind, brother. Accountable accountability (someone for you to give account to who is themselves accountable to someone else) can be really encouraging and helpful as you walk through this, be it Christian counselor or pastor with counseling accountability set up.
Thank you!
 
I've already declared I want to serve God and not my flesh. And I am slowly believing what God has done for me. Use every ounce of willpower??? That is no way to get to the root of a heart problem. I've got a wounded heart where the enemy planted lies, and I believed them. I was abused and traumatized. I am slowly healing. But willpower? Give me a break. Let your own righteous willpower save you then.

Christ has indeed forgiven me, and the Holy Spirit is the only One who can heal me. Not willpower. And I have faith He will.

I started reading a book by Marcus Warner called "Understanding the wounded Heart." When a heart is betrayed or hurt, by some kind of action or trauma, it's like plowing up ground deep in the soil. There are two sowers. The good farmer, or God, and the devil. As many people are unbelievers young in life, the tares grow over the wheat. The person believes the lies that came from the pain of the wound. And like most people, he makes certain he never feels that way again. This is when a stronghold is created. Depression, addictions, and all kind of coping mechanisms take place here. It is God who has to come to the aid. And God heals the wounds.
Ok did I insult you? That wasn't my intention.
 
Ok did I insult you? That wasn't my intention.
You did not insult me, but it made me angry because I've used up all the will power I have and cannot eradicate this sin. It has to go by the power of God's Spirit.

Sorry, brother. I'll be more tactful in the future.
Swift respectful reconciliation on an internet forum? They said it couldn't be done!

You, gentlemen are now my heroes.
 
You did not insult me, but it made me angry because I've used up all the will power I have and cannot eradicate this sin. It has to go by the power of God's Spirit.

Sorry, brother. I'll be more tactful in the future.
I can tell I might have come across a little bit patronizing. It sounds like it was easier for me than it is for you so it made me doubt whether you were being sincere. Only God can know that though. Anyways, from what you've posted I think you're on the right track.
 
The only thing I can do is be honest and confess, to God and to myself... I have loved a particular sin. It's lust for seeing women in men's magazines.

The bible says I can't get prayer through to God, or He won't listen, if I cherish sin in my heart. So I have looked at Jesus, who gave His life for me. And I'm continuing to look to Jesus and the cross.

I surprised myself when I let go of all my inhibitions about this, and I was honest .. God already knew how I felt about this sin before I did. I was trying to hide from myself how I felt about it, because I wanted to be right with God, and not admit that I am as in poor shape as I am in. Somehow I wanted to be right in His eyes, so I stuffed the desire I have for this stuff - but it eventually comes out in some fashion or another.

My main desire is to be able to pray again, to have God listen to me and consider me and my prayer. This addiction is so weird, too. For 5-6 days I'm not lusting, and when I get the urge, it's too hard to handle on my own... so I try to walk in the Spirit. But I fail utterly. Maybe it's because I haven't confessed to God (until now) how much I've loved this sin over Him. I've committed idolatry and adultery. Since I was in my twenties. Twenty years later, the addiction is still as strong as ever.

But I don't desire to break God's laws. I pray for God's will to be done in my life concerning this (and everything else). Such a struggle!!

What you are experiencing is known as the "lusts of the flesh" This is not coming from your heart as Christ is now your new life, and it is no longer you who is living but Christ in you. When a Christian sins it is because of sin in the flesh. As Paul tells us " if I do what I do not want to do, then it is no longer me doing it but sin that dwells in me. It does not matter at what age you are, as these desires of the flesh never go away as long as we are living in these physical bodies. The flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh, they are contrary to one another so you can not do what you want to. The flesh has no conscience and it can, and wants to sin continually. I don't know if you have noticed, but the flesh is connected to our physical mind, were our spiritual mind is connected to our hearts. Only learning to tell the difference between the spiritual mind that dwells in your heart from the one that is in your head will you be able to over come these things. It takes practice exercising your spiritual senses to walk by faith and not by sight.
 
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What I am about to type is oversimplified due to time constraints, but one of my favorite radio pastors stated that there are only two responses when confronted with our own sin; kill the conscience or kill the desire. I myself lived a long time strangling my conscience, and I am hardly perfected now, but He will deliver you. Keep praying, keep seeking, keep hoping and the ability to kill the desire will grow.
 
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