Discussion in 'Bible Study' started by Hashe, Apr 23, 2014.

  1. I have some friends that never let you pay for anything. They never want you to do anything for them because they don’t want to feel ‘in debt’ to them. I find this quite sad.

    In Gen 4 we read the story of Cain and Abel and how sin uses Cain’s feeling of rejection to strike out in anger at his brother. After God’s first response to Cain’s sin (trying to engage in relationship through questions!), Cain reacts to the punishment he receives from God. He finds it too difficult to bear. He feels so low and worthless that he expects anybody that he meets will kill him.

    However God responds with grace to Cain’s anguish, even though Cain doesn’t ask for it. God puts a mark on Cain that will protect him.

    Cain seems to be like my friends who never want you to do anything for them. Although God has given him his protection, Cain rejects it. How do I know this? He goes and builds a city! In the culture of the day, a city was walled and a place of protection. Cain tries to create his own safe place, rather than accept God’s protection.

    For me this image is of someone locked up and distant from others. Cain has rejected what God has done for him and rather than empower him, it isolates him.

    Makes me wonder where I don’t accept what God has done for me? Am I trying to earn his grace? Am I trying to earn his love? Are there things I’m trying to redo that he has already done for me? How does this lead to isolation and lack of community in my life?

    (From Used with permission
  2. or there can other reason, they may have less worries financially just trying to help?

    i mean, I think there usually more than one reason for an action…..

    As observe myself what am asking during a prayer, this Paul observation rings true:

    Romans 8:26
    King James Version (KJV)
    26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
  3. I rarely let anyone pay for anything. I can count on one hand how many times someone, other than my grandparents, has paid for my meals. Even if someone does pay four my meals I always pay the next time.

    Also, no one does favors for me because I never ask for them or say anything in a way that would make anyone offer.

    I've run out of gas once in my life and instead of calling anyone I walked to the gas station. My parents were around five minutes away but I didn't call them.

    I honestly don't even like getting gifts for the most part.

    I've always been like that. Not sure why.
    Sal likes this.
  4. What would it mean to you if someone paid for something and you didn't pay them back?
    Would you feel indebted to them? If so, what would that mean to you?
  5. I suppose so. It would mean someone could hold something over me if they were so inclined.
  6. I don't know if I would personally link this think with Cain and Abel.. Plus God's grace.. For me it sounds like apples and oranges..

    I don't avoid when people try to pay for my food.. I would say they don't have to.. If they insist, I don't go to the extent of getting into a fight!! And I also don't mind asking help when needed.. but overall, I don't have problem with people like David.. As long as their intentions are right, it is a great thing.. Some people have pride and that's why they don't ask for help.. That is not a correct thing.. Whereas some believe God has blessed them enough and they should bless others and not expect anything from others.. That is the right approach.. Intention or motive is what makes all the difference..
  7. Allowing others to do things for us makes us vulnerable to others; it opens us up to others - and being vulnerable (showing vulnerability) can be a scary thing for some people to do. It is through being vulnerable do we build the best kind of community. :)
    autumn oddity likes this.
  8. It is best to try not to hang out with those you feel "could hold something over" you. They are unsafe people. :sick:
  9. Every Christian still walks in some sort of bondage, whether we admit it is another thing. " if we say we are without sin we lie" and it will remain that way until God translates us. each of us has a choice as to what we build our faith out of; Christ is the only foundation but the building materials are daily choices. With your friends for example, you can not be the Holy Spirit for them, they choose what they will or won't do. Just forgive them and take no offence, just as in Christ Jesus God has forgiven us too.
    The bible proof of the building program is in 1 Corinthians. >
    For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

    12 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;

    13 Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.

    14 If any man's work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.

    15 If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.
  10. You don't know until they do favors for you. Besides, there are very few people that don't feel they are owed something after doing you a favor.
    autumn oddity likes this.
  11. What about the whole, 'pay it forward', random acts of kindness towards strangers. It seems that people don't think this is a good idea, or something they would want to accept anyway?
  12. I like pay it forward.
    autumn oddity likes this.
  13. I don't see the connection between Cain and not wanting folk's "help". First off, Cain attempted to avoid responsibility for Murdering Abel (and all of Abel's bloodline) and once he realized he couldn't avoid it because God Knew it, asked for God's help, thinking everyone would know it. Is there any scripture that says Cain didn't accept God's mark of protection? What has that to do with accepting other human beings' (who can have a hidden agenda) "help"? When I was desperate, alone and afraid, only God helped me - not those who claimed to love me, who traded me $20 for something worth a $1,000, or those who wanted to give me food but expected more than I wished to give. I find it hard to fault your friends - I would far prefer to pay my own way.
  14. The link is the isolation. Not letting anybody do anything for you can leave you isolated.
  15. You are correct = not letting anybody do anything for you can be isolating and not good. But you are never isolated if you have God and, sincerely, that's all I need. He never uses, abuses or manipulates me and He doesn't expect me to deny truth because He bought me dinner.
    autumn oddity and Ravindran say Amen and like this.
  16. I think the real problem even for Christians is that we do not want to " believe God's word" Some of it is very hard to accept but it is still true. God told us so we would be prepared. We keep trying and hoping things will get better and be nice and pleasant. Well that is not what God said was going to happen in Mattew 24: "Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name's sake.10"And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.11"Then many false prophets will rise up and m deceive many.12"And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.13 We just need to trust in His Love, not mans. Christ shed His blood so that we would have the truth and be prepared, not anxious. IMO. Doug
  17. Silk, the problem with this thinking is that it is against the Bible.
    Gen 2:18 - it is not good for people to be alone.
    People were made for relationship with other people.
  18. Your equation is right if you put God 1st in it > " Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you "
  19. I don't have a problem with accepting help when I need it. I don't have problems with relationships. Accepting "help" when I don't need it doesn't leave me alone or isolated. That was your original post. And I never am alone because I have God. If I refuse help that I need out of pride then I am wrong. But I don't see a problem in your example with a refusal to owe anyone anything, mainly a dinner.
  20. That doesn't have anything to do with accepting help from people though.

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