Sometimes when I am scared if the fun things I do and have are totally sins, I get accidentally a bit angry at the Holy Trinity and then I start saying bad things on my mind about the Holy Trinity, including the Holy Spirit, yes, but then I get scared and w0rried if I blasphemed the Holy Spirit... And now I blame myself that why would I do this, and now I am thinking that I only have about 80 years more to live, until I die and then I disappear from existence... Have I blasphemed the Holy Spirit? I really don't and didn't want to blaspheme the Holy Spirit, and I regret all the bad things I said to or about the Holy Trinity.. Now I know that the Earthly things I do (except sexual lusting) are not sins, but I am still worried that if I won't be forgiven ever again and I can do now whatever I want during these remaining 80 years of my life... The Bible says that the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit means when a person thinks or says that the Holy Trinity is evil. But I think the Bible meant that every blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is the unpardonable sin, like calling the Holy Spirit words or being angry at the Holy Spirit is blasphemy... I am so confused... Is it true that I only have 80 years of my life more remaining and then I will never be forgiven anymore and then I will disappear from existence when I die?