Is My Problem Too Petty for God?

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by jillhydra, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. I'm growing more frusrated with this situation in my heart and have been praying about how to act in a way that is not rude in return but also not tolerate how I'm being treated. Hopefully with daily prayer and some positive Christian support I will find a solution for handling my future actions in this matter with tact.
    My younger cousin by four years is getting married this May and first asked me to do a reading for her wedding. She then changed her mind and I was asked to pass out programs instead (possibly assist with pinning flowers on wedding party members). I appreciate that she is finding a small way to include me (probably out of commitment to do right for family peacekeeping) but cannot help but feel demoted in my helping duties. Yet, the Maid of Honor asked me via text to offer some financial commitment to cover the cost of the shower expenses and a shower gift. I politely asked if we could chat about what I could do over the phone so there wouldn't be any miscommunication. She quickly dismissed the idea so I stated I'm not in the position financially to help but could offer my time and talent with planning/making invites, decorations, setup/take down, making food, etc. A little less than a year ago I quit my corporate job to be a work at home mother (my son was seriously injured at a daycare). My husband and I have made huge financial sacrifices to make me working from home possible. Anyway, the Maid of Honor and my other older cousin (who was given my original task of being a reader in the ceremony) both work outside the home and like to brag about making good money (having the latest gadget, purse, concert tickets, etc.) at these planning meetings and criticize those not having a good paying job. Well, I feel like they don't want to hear any of the ideas I can offer to help. I'm not sure if it falls on deaf ears because my journey is very different from their materalistic lifestyle. I sit in these "planning meetings" with my older cousin flashing her ability to pay for all of her ideas and I am shut down with rude, condecending comments from her or am completely ignored (her eyes rolled at me). I'm not sure I should contiune to attend/deal with the toxic older cousin that has to be the center of attention and control every move of the shower and bachelorette party. The Maid of Honor and Bride-to-be is allowing her to voice her blunt opinion on everything and when I suggest thinking about what the bride-to-be would like - It is shot down. So, now that I have vented my perception of my loud mouthed older cousin should I go to these planning meetings if I am a wedding program passer or is this just a way to make me feel included although I "feel" I am not and being disrespected/rejected. I want to support my cousin getting married but her wedding party has a toxic personality that zaps all of the positive joy out of coming together to help in different ways/with different talents. I want to be unselfish in dealing with my own feelings (I have a lot of patience but don't want to be a push over either) but don't want to appear to come across as being childish and create a family issue, if that makes sense. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
  2. I would probably ask her for a talk, explain my feelings and announce that I will not attend these planning meetings any more. If she thinks that she can use any of your practical help, she can ask you even if you are not part of the planning meetings.
    福井舞 likes this.

  3. I guess I am confused as to why a believer would invovle themselves with others that are used by the enemy to steal our joy.

    If you read scriptures, Jesus just walked away every time things got hot. He had no part of silly and contensious people.

    One reason I did not attened my brothers wedding, I don't hang around unsaved folk and if I do, I am sharing the Word with them.

    Protect the anointing on your life, and the Joy of the Lord is our strength. If the Lord never tells you to help out at a function, then stay out of it. If the Lord does say go help them, then we do what is asked and be happy knowing we work unto God and not man.

    We as believers cause a lot of our own issues with people. Just do what the Word says do, and don't yoke yourself with non believers.
    福井舞 likes this.
  4. It is lovely that you want to continue to support your family member's wedding by your involvement, but if I were you, I wouldn't allow the pervasive attitude among the group to continue to upset and poison my thinking. I would walk. Supporting the marriage is best done by your encouraging words and your presence at the wedding. Preserve your feelings and your relationships by letting them have their little show. You can save yourself so much heartache by letting them be what they have proved themselves to be---petty and materialistic. As Christians, we need to step aside sometimes, rather than be tainted by such attitudes, and also painted by the same brush as they. You are not like them.
  5. Nothing is too petty for God.
    He will listen to anything as He loves us all equally.
    Cturtle likes this.
  6. First of all i agree with fish of problem is to small for God. He loves us and wants to be involved in any and every area of our lives. All we have to do is ask.

    In regards to your troublesome heart..... first thing to do is forgive everyone who is upsetting you. Especially the one who changed your position and offended you the most. Then begin to ask God to bless everything about this marriage and wedding, beyond all they can ever ask of think! I am not sure as to their salvation, but clearly their attitudes can use some adjustment. And as you treat them like they are not upsetting you, and love them, even though they are not being kind to you then you will be heaping coals upon their heads. See you may be the example of Jesus that they ever see, and if you can show them Jesus in your attitude, and love for them, then you are in God's way of doing things.
    To me it sounds like you are fully settled in your walk with Christ and your family life. And even though they have money and what have you they may be searching for the peace that you have already obtained. And that could be the reason why they are offended by you....which is persecution for the Words sake.

    Seek God for the answer in regards to the planning meetings....God may want you there for His reasons. And if He tells you to go, ask Him how to respond. You are His sheep and know His voice. And as you walk in His love and forgiveness, He can speak to you and use you if you are willing.

    Father, thank You for jillhydra! Thank You for her very loving and precious heart, and for her love for You and Your Word. Surround her with Your presence and peace, and give her wisdom as to what to do in regards to the wedding planning meetings, and wedding. Bless her and her family Lord far above all they could ever ask or think. And give her strength to carry out You will and purpose. In Jesus Name i pray, Amen.

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