I'm growing more frusrated with this situation in my heart and have been praying about how to act in a way that is not rude in return but also not tolerate how I'm being treated. Hopefully with daily prayer and some positive Christian support I will find a solution for handling my future actions in this matter with tact. My younger cousin by four years is getting married this May and first asked me to do a reading for her wedding. She then changed her mind and I was asked to pass out programs instead (possibly assist with pinning flowers on wedding party members). I appreciate that she is finding a small way to include me (probably out of commitment to do right for family peacekeeping) but cannot help but feel demoted in my helping duties. Yet, the Maid of Honor asked me via text to offer some financial commitment to cover the cost of the shower expenses and a shower gift. I politely asked if we could chat about what I could do over the phone so there wouldn't be any miscommunication. She quickly dismissed the idea so I stated I'm not in the position financially to help but could offer my time and talent with planning/making invites, decorations, setup/take down, making food, etc. A little less than a year ago I quit my corporate job to be a work at home mother (my son was seriously injured at a daycare). My husband and I have made huge financial sacrifices to make me working from home possible. Anyway, the Maid of Honor and my other older cousin (who was given my original task of being a reader in the ceremony) both work outside the home and like to brag about making good money (having the latest gadget, purse, concert tickets, etc.) at these planning meetings and criticize those not having a good paying job. Well, I feel like they don't want to hear any of the ideas I can offer to help. I'm not sure if it falls on deaf ears because my journey is very different from their materalistic lifestyle. I sit in these "planning meetings" with my older cousin flashing her ability to pay for all of her ideas and I am shut down with rude, condecending comments from her or am completely ignored (her eyes rolled at me). I'm not sure I should contiune to attend/deal with the toxic older cousin that has to be the center of attention and control every move of the shower and bachelorette party. The Maid of Honor and Bride-to-be is allowing her to voice her blunt opinion on everything and when I suggest thinking about what the bride-to-be would like - It is shot down. So, now that I have vented my perception of my loud mouthed older cousin should I go to these planning meetings if I am a wedding program passer or is this just a way to make me feel included although I "feel" I am not and being disrespected/rejected. I want to support my cousin getting married but her wedding party has a toxic personality that zaps all of the positive joy out of coming together to help in different ways/with different talents. I want to be unselfish in dealing with my own feelings (I have a lot of patience but don't want to be a push over either) but don't want to appear to come across as being childish and create a family issue, if that makes sense. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!