Is It A Sin?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by wass0803, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. I was just wondering what you guys think about this. If you're in a sexless relationship (abstinent), is it still a sin to live with your significant other before marriage? I realize there would be more temptation to have premarital sex, but what if you can't live where you are right now?
  2. This is my opinion.. People can yell at me :) I think the act of living together before marriage (without any physical contact) itself is not a sin.. But it opens the door for sin.. I don't think there is any man or woman who can live without sin in such cases.. It is like running an adult movie in the TV and sitting in the same room saying "I will not watch it".. Because, Jesus clearly said sin is not just what we do.. But what we think in our mind.. While living together, clearly it would encourage lustful thoughts.. Which is clearly sin as per Bible.. So the act of being together itself is not a sin, rather it puts us in a place where we would definitely commit sin!
  3. That definitely has put a lot of clarity on the subject and has given me some food for thought. Thank you. :)
  4. Even though living in the same house is not sinful in and of itself, the appearance of sin is there. The Bible tells us to avoid the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Ephesians 5:3), to flee from immorality, and not to cause anyone to stumble or be offended. As a result, it is not honoring to God for a man and a woman to live together outside of marriage.
  5. These types of Questions are already answered in the Word. Anything you allow that is not of faith is sin.

    Anything you have to question if it's right or not is not faith and for you is sin.

    If you violate your conscience, you are a fool and will continue until you can't even hear the Holy Spirit anymore. A clear conscience does not ask if something is right or wrong.

    Your heart and your conscience is your connection to hearing God. It makes no sense to allow things that would stay on your conscience, and this questioning if things are right and wrong is evil. The scripture already tells us to keep a clear conscience and anything that is not of faith is sin. So any questioning would be to fool ourselves in doing something that is wrong. That is a bad place to be.
    J.S. likes this.
  6. I am in a similar-but not exactly the same situation you are in. It's been over 2.5 years since I have had "physical intimacy"; yes it is sin.

    As a male, I can say that living with a female (with whom we used to have relations and are still living together mainly because of financial circumstances) with whom I used to have relations; it is mentally disparaging. Which is sin to me, and to her. Whether it is intentional or not.

    Now I will probably get a lot of heat for many things in this post; but if I could change circumstances at the drop of a hat it would be done. If we look at the culture and tradition of the Hebrews and use that as a template from "God's Chosen People"; they developed a system of courtship.

    Depending on the era and tribe; traditional "courtship" was anywhere from 1 to 2 years. Both the espoused male and female either lived with their perspective parents/ caretakers -or- the male would either have in possession property or would acquire property during the courtship and the female would move in with another relative to ensure the bride stayed 'chaste' until the marriage . Most of the time this property was given to the son from the father, but it could also have been set aside as part of a dowry from the female's parents. This was often determined by the wealth of the families. It was expected that the 'man' of the house to provide. But sometimes life gets in the way of circumstances. ;)

    Now there are a whole lot of people that will say: 'that was the Hebrew culture & tradition and doesn't pertain to us in the New Testament era...' and 'we are not subject to the "law" like the Hebrews were...blah blah blah'. I say HOGWASH!

    The OT is not 'nullified'; it is "expanded" by the New Testament. God didn't give us His Word and a people/ culture, and His Son as an example to be ignored.

    Now I am not saying you have to go and start making dreidels and following the 'Shabbat' and wearing a veil on your head and learning perfect Hebrew.

    My point is this: we were given an example as Gentiles from the pre- Messiah era 'Chosen People' through the Bible; we can use that example to bring us one step closer to holiness in our lives by using the God given brains and in our head and meditating on the Word.

    You will have to come to terms to what will work for you in your life and would be pleasing to God. I haven't found that place yet in my life. Hope this helps you in some way.
    AllieWi likes this.
  7. If you say it's sin Brother Mike, then for you it's sin. No need to go into Hebrew and all that other stuff. The devil is just like that, we know the answer but then rationalization takes over. The devil did the same thing to Eve........"ya, OK, God said you would die, but lets examine this a bit. It's not that God said you would die.... NO......... Listen up, the real deal is that God does not want you to be like HIm, for he knows the day you eat thereof then you will know good and evil just like He does."

    You said it was sin. Jesus said this.

    Joh 9:41 Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth.

    So it really don't matter at this point what culture says or anything else. What is important is what you said.

    I am not judging, but sickness and death of body can come quickly if we continue to do what we know by conscience we should not do. If we say we see, then what did Jesus say?

    I want you to be OK, because doing right brings financial freedom, health to our bodies and opens the door to the blessings. It's the devil that says your finacial stability comes from the arm of man or comes from an arraignment that you call sin, so God understands.

    Faith says If I do what I know is right, I eat the good of the Land and am blessed. I am not part of the Worlds system but the Kingdom of God.

    I just want victory for you Brother, I am just sharing what I know to be true. I lost a good brother who God set up to be assistant pastor and kept his family. Just one more drug deal to catch the bills up he told his wife and I'll stop. I know God wants me to take action with this bills. He reasoned himself out of what He said he would never do again.

    He died that night, shot in the back of the head. Just that one time violating his conscience. Not trying to scare you but in the devils territory it seems to be a free for all, and it's all evil.

    God said he always makes a way when in any temptation. God is so faithful.

  8. You are right...I am living proof. All I can do is try to help others in the time I have left. Thank God He is merciful...but he is also just, God forgive me...

    It is still up to those who hear to "listen" though...
  9. It is not is also not wise.

    If you are going to be married, then be married and be done with it.

    If you are not sure, then don't open the door to temptation
  10. Well................ I don't think we have a violate conscience issue here Brother Mike. I think that is just some surface issues.

    What was in your heart, the plan, what you thought you might know that God was going to have you do? It might have been 10 years or more ago, but you don't have to pray in tongues and hang off the rafters of some pentecostal church to have things in your heart you had some excitement about. (Though praying in tongues and hanging off the rafters at church might help :) )

    Did you know of any plan or something crazy you thought you might do for God? Even something that seemed impossible back then that you don't think about anymore?

    Just asking because I care.

  11. Which one?
  12. Sorry, I had to wait on how to answer.

    You know Brother Mike, I am not one to give you advice or correct. I heard the Lord and just had to ask. Sometimes it's easy to look at someone, hear and figure out the issue and though it be an issue it be the wrong answer.

    Your issue is not your living arrangements. That is just surface issues. You got off the path brother. Being off the path can be deceptive because we can stay off God's path and not live in sin, but my guess is like me your posting on here, helping because inside you, that calling is still there. Once you loose the vision the people perish the scripture says. No vision, no more hope. Life is day to day after that. It's no way to live, I know.

    I hope you believe me when I say that no matter how old you are now, your health condition, it's not to late to stand up and do what you had in your heart long ago. The gifts and callings are without repentance. I myself am sort of in that position at the age of 46 so I am in no place to give any advice. I am going to fix it though.


    I was preaching at a small church and our lead musician was just amazing. The guy had been a professional for years and at one time had followed Copelands and all that faith teaching stuff, so he knew what it meant to believe God. If anything you can learn from others not to be moved and ever give up if you like nothing else. Jesus taught that all things are possible to them that believe and it's true.

    Anyway, I was up preaching and this guy had come back up for the end of service music, just then, I don't know it was strange but I saw this guy's airplane and he was in Africa. Just a flash, but He had also made a joke about something related so I seeing this I joked back about his airplane in some hot steamy lion infested Jungle.

    I guess it was funny because everyone laughed, a joke about this big airplane. Jets go for about 20 million if you get a nice personal one, but if the Lord said believe him for a Jet then you best get to believing.

    After service we all talked and everyone left. The Lord them spoke to me and said, "When I showed you his airplane I was not joking, and he will answer to me for not having it, for the things of this World, he has put before me."

    I did not really know what that meant................... come to find out years ago He and his wife had been in Atlanta and he had just recorded some very awesome Christian songs. A guy in Atlanta had offered to have them professionally recorded and pay for the whole thing, then set up venues in the area and get his name out because He was also a believer and felt the songs would help many.

    He knew the Lord just opened the door, His dream, the thing He knew He was called to do........................ BUT.......

    he just bought a house in Champaign IL and would have had to give that up, and live in Atlanta for awhile. So He told the guy NO and went back to champaign figuring that if the guy and everyone else loved the songs then He could just get them published in Campaign and they would be just as successful.

    Years later, nobody want to give him the time of day. He ended up taking bar jobs to pay the bills, he stopped with all that faith in God stuff and played at small local churches because the calling was still there.

    He got off the path........... His wife got real sick and I think she finally died which caused bitterness toward God. All he had to do was repent and ask the Lord to get him back on track. That is all it takes, the heart to do whatever the Lord says do and not be concerned about physical comfort, that will come as the Lord will establish and settle you.

    Sorry that was so long. Be blessed.
    AllieWi likes this.
  13. If I'm on a diet, but I've also got a chocolate cake sitting on my table, I'm probably going to be thinking about that chocolate cake all day... and when I'm feeling a bit snacky an hour before dinner, maybe putting together a salad doesn't seem quite as easy as just taking slice of cake... I've got the right to have that cake on my table, sure, but it's a lot easier on me if it's still at the store.

    And as J.S. says, it is important to consider how it appears to others: if you're at the store buying the cake, no one thinks you're bringing it home as a table decoration! Others are going to make assumptions about what's going on, and while the tendency is to say that it's none of their business (which it isn't), perhaps we may also be willing to give up what we have the right to do, in order to avoid being a stumbling block for others.

    1 Cor 8:9
    Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.
  14. That's a very solid point. It just made me think of something from my bible study class on Sundays. The book we're studying is called Stuck and in part of it, it talked about letting go of the things we believe we have a right to. Sometimes it's difficult to let go of all that.
    Roads likes this.

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