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Is It A Sin To Not Be Affectionate?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Alang, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. I'm a strong faithed Christian. I love people so much. I even love my atheists friends whom are starting to like some Christians because they see me as a good example from my kindness and actions. I get along with everyone. But for some reason I cant say things like "I love you" to my mom or brother or dad. But they know I do love them which I do so much. Also I dont get all affectionate with girls like I went out on a date and this girl held my hands , kept putting her head on my shoulders and kissing me in public.... I kept backing off a little. Whats wrong with me? Is this a sin? I get along with my family great always helping each other out but I cant like hug my family or kiss them on the cheek. It makes me wonder.
  2. I don't like physical touching either. Not sure why. I wouldn't say it's sinful to not be a touchy person though. I think our words and actions should show our love enough without hugs.
  3. Glad to hear im not the only one lol. Just got back from a date bro and the chick kept asking me whats wrong with me. I just said you know I don't like doing that. She goes on to tell me Im a tough guy or something like that when its the complete opposite lol.

  4. There are at least two of us now. People ask me what's wrong with me all the time. I just say, THIS IS MY FACE! I have a very pissed off looking face naturally so everyone just assumes I just got into a fist fight minutes prior to them seeing me.
    Gotta be careful touching on dates. Don't want to get cooties.
    Alang likes this.
  5. Im the same way bro....we must be cousins lmao.
  6. I suppose it's possible. I don't know much of my extended family.
    Alang likes this.
  7. Did either of you have a lack of affection given to you as a child?
  8. #8 Alang, Jul 3, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2014
    I guess so now that I think about it my parents were very very strict. My father also had anger problems hes an Arabic guy who lived through the Iraq/Iran war so me and my brother loved my dad but were also scared of him when we were young. I think its normal to beat your child though to show discipline. Hes much calmer now never gets angry. I think its just because hes seen a lot of death and bad things probably messed with his mind. Even my mother she didnt show affection really....they were both stone cold when they got to America its weird how much they have changed as they've gotten older.Very very loving now.But yea my parents know I love them same with my bro.
  9. I'd say this is most likely the first part of the situation.

    You should go see a Christian-Friendly mental healthcare professional. Try to start working it out. This will put at risk relationships and later on having children of your own.
  10. My mother is a psychopath and was abusive to me as a child.
  11. Have you gotten any therapy for it?
  12. Nope.
  13. Some cultures are a lot mouch touchy-feely than others.
    I was brought up in an environment where people were always very polite, but not "affectionate" (not publicly anyway).
    I've heard the entire country of Finland is like that.
    When we visited relatives in other parts of the country I would have to adjust to their very "hands on" ways of expressing themselves.
    There's nothing sinful about being emotionally reserved.
    Just understand that when it comes time for dating that you may need to lighten up a bit so as not to appear cold and standoffish.
  14. Trust me, I know what you're feeling. And, no it's not a sin. Some people just don't show affection because that's just their nature. Nothing wrong with that, my comrade.
    Alang likes this.
  15. Hey Alang, I wish I had your love for people, well done. I believe when we look at God's Word you find the answers. he tells to love neither in word and in tongue but in truth and deed. Love is action, I'd much rather someone love me in truth and deed than tell me they love me, I want to see it. Hope this helps but by the sounds of things you're doing just fine!!!....
    Alang likes this.
  16. Sounds like you have a lot of empathy but struggle to express it. Better off than I am; I struggle just with the empathy part. Nothing wrong with being reserved but if you think there are some unresolved issues from your past affecting you negatively I would suggest therapy of some kind.
    Alang likes this.
  17. I think I'm gonna talk to my priest about it one on one ... that should help right
  18. Yes exactly how middle eastern people are .... I have never in my life seen my dad hold or kiss my mom.
  19. Im really glad to see im not the only one like this ... was starting to feel bad yesterday
  20. Awesome thanks bro!
    christianbacktobasics likes this.

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