I feel bad for typing that title it just sounds wrong. At the beginning of the year an ex of mine and me reunited. We fought a lot before our break up. I can be very difficult to get along with and just super sensitive and overbearing and negative to the max. Well he came back professing he loved me and wanted to work on getting married etc. Well his brother was diagnosed with cancer shortly after and things fell apart again because I was still angry with him. We fought a lot and again 2 weeks ago he broke up with me Well I have been praying because i feel bad for the ways I have been. I was not very understanding to his situations and mean and stuff. Well I been praying because my ex said it was over and I wanted God to restore my relationship. After a long weekend of me suffering and asking God for help suddenly on Sunday evening my ex transferred money into my account stating he knew I needed help a few weeks back and so he sent me some money to help. After that I thanked God and still doubted him even though I prayed for restoration. I thought my ex was just being nice. Then a couple nights ago I completely fell apart and prayed to God WHY WHY WHY help me please show me if this is the one for me! On top of my break up I have a few health issues and I just was calling out to God to help in some way or another. Then the next evening my ex emailed me again saying he was checking on me to see how I was doing. I told him I missed him and he said he missed him too. Then we went back and forth a few times and he went on to say how he feels weak and he's hurting. Then that was the last time I heard from him. I'm feeling doubtful again. I keep seeking God. I'm praying. Listening to sermons...reading my bible. I fell apart again last night. Crying and fell asleep listening to the word. I'm lost.