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Individuals - by Joyce

Discussion in 'Literature and Poetry' started by Starshine, Feb 12, 2008.

  1. Individuals - by Joyce

    She writes tons about her cats, too!

    1. A pen.
    Saav: Hmmm.
    (Swats it off the desk and watches it fall to floor)
    (Takes nap on desk where pen used to be.)
    Pook: What's this? (Snifffffff) What's it do? What's it taste like? (Licks it) What's it for? Whose is it? (Looks around) Can I play with it? Can I have it? (Swats at it) Oh it moves...(Plays floor hockey with it until she loses it under the china cabinet)
    2. Mom's dinner.
    Saav: (Snifffff)
    Oh, people food.
    (Tries to bury it)
    Pook: (Snifffff)
    Oooooooo!! Food! What is it? (Reaches for plate with paw) Can I have some? Can I? Huh? (Climbs arm to get to plate, taken off arm) I want some! Pleeeeeeease? (Jumps back up on table) Gee that smells good! (Looks at you with sad, starving orphan kitten eyes) Can I have some? I want some! Pleeeeeeease...oh I'm sooo hungry...feed me!
    3. The bed.
    Saav: The Bedmonster!
    Well, that was fun. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
    Pook: Ohboyohboyohboy the Bedmonster!! (Pounce) Where is it? (Pouncepouncepounce) There it is! (Pouncepouncepounce) Over there! (Pouncepounce) Over here! (Pounce) Down there! (Pouncepounce) Up there! (Pouncepounce) Get the pillow! (Pouncepouncepounce)
    4. The dog.
    Saav: What a furball.
    (Curls up on her tail and takes a nap)
    Pook: A DOG!!
    (Hissssssssssssss!) Bring it on, dog! (Fierce Kitten Sideways Death Dance) I can take you! (Growwwwwl, spit) C'mon, dog, let's see what you got! (Hissssssssssss!) Yeah, dog, I got your number! (Death Dance) C'mere and take what's coming to you!! (Growwwwwwll, spit) Hey...hey dog, wake up....
    5. The fishtank.
    Saav: I think there's something in there.
    (Falls asleep in front of fishtank)
    Pook: What's that? Huh? Can I have it? Can I play with it? Hey, that smells neat...what is it? (Climbs bookcase for better view) Ooooooooo, is that a tuna in there? Does it taste like tuna? Can I have the fishie? (Paws lid of tank) How do you get in there? Can you open this for me? Here, fishie, fishie...how do you open this thing?
    6. The bathroom sink.
    Saav: Oh boy! Water! I want some water! (Sluuuuuuurrrrrppp) (Smacks lips) Mmmmmm, yummy water! (Gulpgulpgulpgulp)*Burrrp* (Laplaplaplaplap)
    Pook: Okay, you're going to be there a while. I'm going to go eat a houseplant or knock over a lamp.
    7. The little stuffed "get well" kitten.
    Saav: (Looks up at it longingly but knows she can't jump that high)
    Pook: (Looks at Saav)
    (Looks at kitten)
    (Looks at Saav)
    Okay, cover me while I jump up there and get it. (Makes death-defying leap from footboard to top of dresser and knocks kitten onto floor while Saav watches doorway)
    Saav: Wheeeeeeeee!! (POUNCE!) Thankyouthankyouthankyou!! (Pouncepouncepounce)
    Pook: (Jumps down onto bed)
    (Watches Saav)
    Well, they wanted me to help her and be her buddy, so I'm doing that.
    But Saav always gets the good toys...
    (Curls up on bed and watches Saav play)
    8. The harness.
    Saav: Oh boy! I want to go out! (Wiggle, squirm)
    (Tries to take off when harness is halfway on) I want out! Let's go!
    Pook: ACK! No! (Squirm) It's cold out there! (Wiggle, roll over) I don't want to go! (Squirmsquirmsquirm) It's nasty out there! (Wiggle wiggle) There's bugs! (Squirm) I don't want to go bye-bye! (Tries to jump away) Arrrrggggh! (Squirmsquirmwiggle) I hate this thing!!
    9. The computer.
    Saav: Wooooooo! Pook! The playground's open!!
    Pook: Wheeeeeeee!! (Makes running jump onto keyboard)
    10. Bird flies by window Pook or Saav is sitting in.
    Saav: What the heck was that?!
    Pook: Wooooooooo!! Fresh meat on the wing! Lemme out!!
    11. The litterbox.
    Saav: (Sigh)
    (Sees nearby human)
    And just exactly WHAT are you looking at?!
    Pook: Arrrggggghh, this needs cleaning. There's poo in it. Hey! Litterbox Cleaner! Scoop this outta here. What's wrong with you? I can't use this. Gee, what does it take to get a clean box around here? Hey, look, there's something in here. You wanna step in that with bare feet? C'mon, get the scooper and go to it. Dang, it's hard to get decent help these days...get all of it, for heaven's sake. You missed a lump over there. Do it right for goodness sakes! How hard is this, anyway? Aaarrrgggh...people...

    That's one of her funniest ones. If you knew these 2 cats, you could see it!
    God bless,
  2. Oh, that's one of my favorites lol. Enjoy!
    But this isn't really Christian.

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