In search of wisdom

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by IndyDad, Jan 29, 2015.

  1. #1 IndyDad, Jan 29, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2015
    I am a 56 year old divoreced father and I have a 3 year old son. My ex-wife moved out of our apratment taking our newborn son with her, to live with her ex-husband. She moved out before our divorce was even finalized. She said she still cared for her ex-husband and since they already had a child, it made sense to move in with him. She seems happy with her living arrangenments and lacks nothing. On the other hand, I live alone and I see my son every other weekend. I love my son and have built a strong bond with him. My problem is that I suffer from depression and have been hospitalized for several weeks at a time on more that one occasion. I have children and grandchildren from a previous marriage in Ohio, about 4 hours away from my son. My depression has worsen because I cannot deal with the loneliness, especially when I know I have family who cares about me. My psychiatrist and social worker have encouraged me to move to Ohio to live close to my children. They feel that continuing to stay in Indiana is not helpig my health/depression. Just thinking about living near my family lifts my spirit. At the same time, I worry about my son's well-being and how he will be raised. His mother is a very unstable person and also sufferes from depression but is dealing with it just fine. Although her illness is not as severe as mine. I am torn and have cried for several months just thinking about moving away and putting more distance between my son and myself. I've also grown tired of dealing with his mother's intrusive nature into my in my life. During our brief marriage, she was emotionally and physically abusive with me, to the point where I had a nervous beakdown and attempted suicide. I am tired of dealing with her as she continues to push my bottons and her attempts at using my son as a way to manipulate me. When contempating a move to Ohio, I am not abandoning my son, I will keep visiting him every other weekend and I know the court will want to revise the visitation arrangements. As you can see I have quite a lot to deal with. Although I continue to pray about this to our Lord Jesus Christ, I am still set on moving out of state. My heart will break but feel this move is probably best. I have posted on this forum/Christian Website, because I need Christian centered suppport. I welcome your thoughts,suggestions and your prayers. Thank you all, God Bless
  2. Firstly allow me to welcome you to CFS.
    It appears that you and your ex wife have had a difficult time.
    The issues that you are experiencing may require professional help and the members may not be able to provide concrete advice.
    You and your son shall be in my prayers. :)
  3. Thanks you for responding so quickly. I've gotten all the professional help I could get. At the end of the day, I've not made the decision to leave my son and move out of state. I just wanted a Christian perpective. But I can understand that members may not be able to provide advice on this matter. Thanks again
  4. I'm sure that God will guide you.
    You have a friend in Jesus.
  5. IndyDad, I can tell this, that your relationship the Lord is the most important thing right now, even more important than your family. There is no way you will over come what you are going through without the guidance and the sustaining power of the Lord to see you through this very difficult time. Sometimes we find our self's in situations that only the Lord God can help us through. It can even make us think that life it self is not worth living because of the pain it brings. Do not give in to the lies of the enemy in telling you there is no hope, because there is. The Apostle Paul found himself in such a situation that he thought for sure his life was over, yet he survived only by the grace of God in which he trusted in.

    2Cor 1:8 For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.
    2Cor 1:9 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

    Right now in your life you are at a place where you have no choice but to trust in and rely on the Lord for help. Never give up and have faith that the Lord will see you through.
  6. Thank you for your response. I agree that I cannot get through this difficult time, without seeking God's wisdom. I admit, I am not as strong as I need to be, with my Lord Jesus Christ. I need to place my complete trust in him. Thank you for your kindness and advise. I will seek the answer I need from my Lord through prayer. Thank you
  7. Indydad - Welcome to CFS. As others have already stated, our members here may not be able to find all of the answers that you seek from a clinical standpoint, but there will be many Christian viewpoints for you. With that in mind, do we have your permission to move this thread into the "Marriage and Relationships" area of the forum where it may get more views per day and more posts with Christin information for you. Please advise - otherwise, we can leave it right here... your choice.

  8. Hey howdy and welcome. I'm sorry to hear about this trying time you're going through.

    I too have gone through similar circumstances.

    If you go to church, what I would do is get more involved there. Just a suggestion.

    I hope and pray this message finds you feeling a peace that can only come from our Father.
  9. Yes, you have my permission. Thank you
  10. Hi there, welcome to the forum. My name is Sharon it just breaks my heart to think of your situation being away from your wife and son. Jesus has a plan for your life, delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart.
  11. I am sorry to learn of your struggles. Your relationship with Christ is exceedingly important and might be strengthened through involvement in a body of believers. I've no idea your participation in church, but I have found congregations do exist which will support you in your faith and encourage you in life. If this is not your current experience, you might seek out a new church. It can make a huge difference.
  12. The key to this is putting Jesus first in your life, follow His ways and you'll see He is better then any human dock or the meds they try to pump in you. When you follow His commandment which is love the other stuff will change. Give your body to the Holy Ghost and He will drive you to where you need to go. The devil is the one that beats you up causes you to think these things remove him out of your life in Jesus name, have faith and allow Him to control you not the body which the devil loves to torment, think about it you have the power of free will so you can choose to follow the devil or grasp Jesus hand plus you have the power of forgiveness. This is all string powers God gave us to counter the devil. Everything is your choice and yours alone. Live you brother and I will pray. Hope this helps.
  13. Try 2 cor. Chapter 5 explains the body and spirit. Love ya brother and may Jesus bless your path.
  14. my heart goes out to you and i feel sorry reading about your trials but even as absurd as it may sound, Romans 8:28 NIV says
    "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " so no matter how dark things seem now it will all turn out well as it is God's master plan. also pertaining your son, i would like to remind you of the verse Psalm 127:1 NIV that says

    "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain." you have handed the matter over to God (our father), then why worry? would you be happy if your son asks you to do something for him and then still keeps worrying trying to find a way to do it himself? also be reminded of Psalm 68:5 NIV also that says

    "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling". God watches over those who have no one to watch over them so be rest assured that when u are far off someone is watching over your son... May God the perfecter of all things lead and direct your path through Jesus Christ our Lord...:)

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