Recently I have been on a roller-coaster ride with someone I was dating online in hopes to see him after I help my dad with selling items in the house. A long story short, we are currently living off my grandma since my dad had to declare bankruptcy. Now she has been talked into moving into a retirement home by her friends (please note she cannot think for herself and my dad and I have been caring for her), my dad will and I won't be able to afford this house. I've been planning on seeing James sometime within a month or two, depending on how the selling goes and I have been dealing with his indecisiveness for 2 weeks. Today was the worst. He blew up on me and told me that I need to work on myself, also that he cannot deal with this online relationship anymore. Now, I did not take this personally at first. Rationality kicked in. I told him that everyone needs to work on themselves to some degree. I let him vent while cutting me and our relationship down. Eventually we agreed on just staying friends after he apologized for what he said. He also suggested this the first time he had second thoughts, but quickly moved onto being back in a relationship. Right now I am giving myself and him space and time to heal after this unexpected turn of events, and just want to remain friends. Since I've had to deal with this before I am even more unsettled by his behavior. He's 8 years older than me and I did expect him to be more mature, but everyone has their own demons within to fight. I've decided for myself to remain friends with him and it may result in him not wanting to have anything to do with me. I am prepared for that as I am used to it. I just can't emotionally afford this anymore. Every time he does this I am struck with such fear that I lose my appitite and run on adrenaline. It's too much stress for me and on top of that I am still looking for a job, and found out that the courses for MOA that I took was a scam. I can't get a job with an uncredited diploma. I'm sorry this is so long, I just needed to vent. I'm really not having a good time presently and it's also why I haven't been on CFS much. Haven't had a clear mind to reply or comment on posts.