immoralities before engagement/marriage

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by strugglingin2011, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. My girlfriend and I are both Christians, in our early 40's, but haven't been doing right. We've had sex several times.

    I'm a recovering sex addict. Magazines were my major setback. But in the las 3-4 months, I've been able, with God's favor, to put this sin past me. However, I don't feel like I've changed much if I still give in with our relationship.

    We talked with our pastor. He said in order to get married at our church, we need to put the sex away until the wedding day. I totally agree with him. She told me she agrees to disagree. That bothers me, although it lifts my spirits to know I've repented from yet another sexual sin (premarital sex). I feel so good, am so thankful that God hasn't dropped me off somewhere.

    I love her, but I'm surprised at how someone who knows the truth can only "agree to disagree" on something so important. I pray for her, and for God's will to prevail.
  2. Praise God that he is helping turn from you sin. I know sexual sins are a bit harder to turn from since the urge is so strong. So im happy for u as for yovr wife just pray for her.
  3. I've prayed for your future wife. I hope that she will agree to agree for the appropriate reasons.
  4. yes, I will keep you and your lady in my prayers. If I may. Is it possible that your girl friend in her mind feels that you two are already married? Once you both took it to that level of intimacy, you both are committed to each other (getting married), she may believe that it is all over except the paperwork. So in her mind, you guys are de facto married and as such, you are doing what is done in a marriage. You two living together?
  5. She does feel like we're already married, but we're not living together. I convinced her, with God's help, and you guys' prayers, that we can still be romantic up to the wedding date without going all the way. I feel on top of the world!
  6. Well then buckaroo, get your self moving and get hitched to that filly. God wants it that way.

    Good luck, keep your marriage God centered, build a fence of love and respect around each other and you won't go wrong.
  7. I"ll keep praying that things get solved amicably. You are doing the right thing
  8. Strugglingin2011,

    Have you two set a date, yet? All of use from the forum have been talking behind your back about this. About 1500 of us decided to show up and crash the reception! :D
  9. I understand your problem and totally agree with the need for the ceremony and license needs but you have had sex and in the eyes of God, your young lady is correct... you are married but not living together. I have no idea why your Pastor has adopted his stance but he and you might want to consider what biblical marriage is. Adam and Eve were married but had neither license nor ceremony. The scriptures do not state it but we are left to speculate here but moving on down the track we find that Abraham's servant returned with Rebecka, she went into Isaac's mother's tent and Isaac went into her and they were married. Further along we see Jacob, later known as Israel go into both his first and his second wife and they were married. No ceremony. other than their first coupling (sex) and they became one flesh, married in the eyes of God. (Eph. 5:31) And in first Cor. 7:5 we see that once we are married we should not restrict one another except by mutual consent. If you both have agreed to restrain until the ceremony then that is honorable and righteous for two married folks to do and God will bless the effort.
  10. There is a lot of reasons to become LEGALLY married. Note that I said legally, not spiritually. The marriage ceremony in a church is a celebration that the union is witnessed by the congregation to remove any doubt of the bond. The marriage ceremony gives the union credibility in the eyes of society. Now, I do agree that if a man and a woman were stranded out on an island somewhere, and they got down on their knees and prayed that God bless their union, they are married to me. They are in a position lacking the social ceremony, but they would be married none the less. But when they get back to civilization they still need to do the paperwork to be legal.

    I will say that marriage is a state of mind and heart and not paper. But in the world we live in, the churches and people have allowed the states to register marriages. This is one of those "Render unto Caesar" things, which our Lord Jesus said was alright. If a man and a woman are to marry, they have an ethical and moral obligation to protect each other in the eyes of the church and legally with the state. The rites and rituals of marriage back in the OT days although good guidance are not the word of God. Just because an OT prophet had sex with a servant girl, and then was essentially made to call her wife to live up to that obligation has nothing to do with the world we live in. In Abraham's day, you sleep with a woman that is not your wife, you better be ready to take care of her or the tribal elders would see that you did. Legal witnessed marriage is one of God's way of maintain social order. The lack of God's social order gives chaos, immorality, and other sins. Look around, it is all over the place. Not to sound preachy, but when a man or woman lay down together, couple and believe they are married in their minds, well they need to get the rest of things in order to be right with the Lord.
  11. Hey girlie(Seeking) you believe that a couple can be married other places than a church is ok in your book!??
  12. God's creation is all around us and people get married outside all the time. Why does it have to take place in a church? God dwells within us, we are His home.
  13. Uhmmm Girlie??????...I am 6' tall 225, a power lifter, and ALL GUY!

    When I say a "church" I am referring to the collective body of the congregation. Shall I say church is where the heart is? Like Christine said, people get married outside all the time. You don't need a building.
    JG27_chili likes this.
  14. @Seeking. I have my suit ready for this wedding:))))
  15. Ya u dont need a building. But at least a judge or preferably a pastor in front of witnesses to seal the deal.
    In the name of the Father , the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen
  16. Hey JG27, you crashing the reception too? I will bring a bag of Valencia and Big Jim chili's if you are. [​IMG]
  17. "girlie" ha,ha,ha Don't be offended, Seeking. Your photo isn't all that clear concerning sex.

    I was referred to as him/he by one poster on another site, and I had a real photo up!!!!....altho he was intentionally trying to upset and insult me....

    On-the-other-hand, I was once called a "goddess" well, not really.... He was also trying to insult me. He said I "have a pleasant avatar at first glance." lol I immediately did the play-on-words and suggested I had been called a "goddess" :D

  18. Oh I wasn't offended, just found it annoying. As far as the avatar not being clear, how many female power lifting Grizzly Bears have you seen? LOL

    You going to crash Strugglingin2011 with Chili, allani and me? Should be a good time. [​IMG]
  19. I don't know what that is. Is it a weekend Christian music festival, like Sonshine Fest in Wilmar, Minnesota?

    I live in Minnesota. :)

    Wait a minute.....Strugglingin2011 is the member who started this thread..... I don't get it????

    Oh!!!!! The wedding! (a little lightbulb icon here) lol
  20. Yeah, I was sneaking that post in from work, so it was fast and not written so well. I started the joke about 1500 forum members crashing Struggingin2011's wedding reception. Now that I mention it, he has not been around. Think I scared the boy off with that. He is probably having nightmares thinking he may have to feed us all. LOL

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