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Immature Brother.

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Desmond Howell, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. I have a problem that I have let go for way to long, and honestly have made worse by recent choices. I'm the youngest in my family of four brothers. One brother has always been the designated favorite of the family and could just never work out what he wanted in life or grow up. He has always gotten away with a lot in the family because they feel sorry for him. Recently I saw that he had moved out of our parents house so I thought that he was turning the corner, so I foolishly offered to have him move in with us as we moved out of state because he was talking about a change of scenery. We talked about chores, cleaning, paying rent on time at length and I felt we were on the same page. I stressed that I was not about to see my wife become his maid. Fast forward to now and he was repeatedly ignored what we talked about before move in and after leaving dishes in the sink, chips on the floor, candy spilt on the carpet. He has abused the utilities so bad I've been forced to increase his rent, which he is mad at. The sad thing is that I have talked to him about this multiple time, yet he only says he forgot sorry and he does it again. I have had to hound him for rent and utilities. So I worked out a deal with the apt where he would pay his portion separate and the first month he overspent, had to wait for a check to clear before he could pay rent. We all almost got hit with late fees, and our perfect rental history was almost damaged. The real problems started when he located a couch for us to buy together earlier when we first lived together. We couldn't work out a time to pick it up so he just said he would arrange it. Two months later he brought it up again and I said my wife had a doctor visit and that we no longer had the money. He pouted for two days and claimed that we made him look bad to his friend who was holding the couch ignoring the fact that we had medical bills. There also was a deal put in place at the same time where I agreed to put UP to $150 dollars DEPENDING on the deal towards a tv together. I was shopping for a good deal, and he then said that he would buy the tv and we would just pay him when we could. I foolishly agreed and said he could pick one out to show me. He went ahead and bought a $370 dollar tv with features we will never use. He is now claims that I said $170 but that he would do us a favor and take $100. He uses the tv constantly all day when he's home and we never can even when we want to. I feel like he stole from us. We went ahead and bought a much cheaper and smaller one that we could use and he pouted for two day cause he thought we weren't going to pay him and he told us that he forgive us for everything that we have wronged him in. I was shocked. The next day I sent him a letter explaining bluntly but not like a jerk that we never wronged him and that we needed to be a better roommate and gave specific examples. He has refused to talk to me for three days now. My family has not yet, but soon will take his side. My question. He is my brother and I love him. I made the mistake of letting him move with us, now what are my obligations towards him. As a Christian I want to reconcile, but I feel that I have done no wrong. We payed him the money. We will not be living with him after this lease, it's me against my entire family basically and I don't care at this point if the don't talk to me again. Any wisdom m?
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  4. Hi

    Unfortunately for those of us who have siblings, we know and semi understand how you feel, however it does give your brother a reason to do what he does. Being honest is the best start but importantly asking God to give you wisdom and direction on how to go about it. Only God can change your brothers heart and attitude - including yours :)

    Cturtle likes this.

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