I'm so me I'm a post-depressionist. I don't deviate from orthodoxy, much. The old order has passed away and I'm just clinging to the new. I'm in blind faith mode dodging obstacles. I live in hope that the rest will follow, it usually does. Right God? I'm sure he can read posts. I belong to the Anglo-Catholic Church, they still have Latin masses. I love liturgical music like the Doxastikon of Pascha as well as hymns, motets, sequences, psalmody, antiphons. The homilies are more scholarly and I'm not prone to emotional outbreaks of celebration, anywhere. I lived in the darkness knowing God is there and have prayed that he throw me a bone or something-I was so wanting. Had a crappy experience in christianforum.com. I had spent a whole hour in this complex with circles with eyes flashing at me, every colour used in eight different fonts including a script. It made a dog's breakfast out of typography. Bad design gets my goat. The moderator wrote the site police and I was berated for using the word Hell as in the Dante's Comedia or the Valley of Hinnom. The Rules, the Rules. Light banter only. One person's light banter is another's heavy conversation. So I did what everyone else did, talk about the weather. A Christian forum where talk about wind chill, dew points and visibility factors is the only subject allowed- is just idiotic. I got booted out. My nightmare: a closed-mind, wilful ignorance, intolerance and limited imagination. The world is a dark place and some Christians have a duty to make a change for the good, it's or calling, says this member who lay on the couch in a severe depression for six months. Living a life based on the status quo, within a very restricted set of moral parameters of an ideal that never was, is not what I am. The Christ I know stirred it up, he was the Word. Hope I don't offend anyone. I have to speak for myself. Based on that, you will note my own intolerance and what scares me about religion. I don't have many answers, besides the question is more important than the answer. I didn't ask to be a Christian, it chose me. Marx calls religion the opiate of the people, I say, Religion is greater than masses of opiates. I have so many questions: Did Abraham really sacrifice his son Issac, some say yes, a Hollywood ending was tacked on - the old Ram horns and an angel gag. Or Silence of the Rams. I've been blessed with a career that allowed long periods of time to travel. I lived in Israel for a year, been through all of Europe many times, I love Paris, Rome, Berlin, Prague, Istanbul, Cairo and Jerusalem. I want to return and add a few places. I have lots to ask and say, that has nothing to do with weather.