I'm Losing My Faith In God And I'm Really Scared.

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by ChangingMyself, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. I'm trying to find my way back to God but I must be completely honest with you all these posts about are you doing this right or are you doing that...they are making me doubt God even more. Its like you have to do everything perfectly and even if I feel like I do love God it doesn't matter because the questions is do you REALLY REALLY love God. Do you REALLY believe in him? If not thats why he isn't helping you. I don't know if I want to believe in a God like that. I don't want to be a part of a group of people who constantly question your real motives. If I say in my heart I have always believed in God and now that Im at rock bottom I'm being questioned about me just wanting a god to do whatever I want him to do. Um thats not happened all my life. So now you are justifying the reason he isn't helping me because I I'm not believing in him correctly? Its like you guys are saying it to make yourselves feel better...like Oh she must be a bad believer and thats why God isn't answering her prayers. I'm so upset about this crap. I don't even know how to handle it right now. Maybe I shouldn't have come here. :( I don't want to bring bad things to this nice place
     

  2. I don't think I said I was blaming God. I said I was praying to God to help me get over losing my sensed and also praying that he bring them back.
     
  3. sorry if my post seems to imply like that... no, i do not think you are blaming God ....
     
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  4. I feel like the losing my senses are making me also lose my mind. I guess because I mean I grew up I am 32 years old so for 30 years being able to taste and smell and then BOOM I can't its really affecting me emotionally and no one around me seems to understand the huge impact its having on my life.
     
  5. #25 JustPassingThru, Aug 30, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2013
    Beloved, I apologize for this being so long, but I've been praying about how to respond to you since you first posted, and I feel this is what Father wanted me to say.

    Dear one, I can understand what you are going through because I too am in a similar situation, back in the '50s it was common practice to remove a child's tonsils and adenoids, well they did okay with the tonsils, but they butchered the adenoid part and that has left me with a very diminished sense of smell, so, to smell something I almost have to inhale whatever I'm smelling through my nose, ...besides that, God has given me the ability (it's a gift) to cook, but because I'm diabetic on insulin I can't eat most of what I cook. That's just a part of the "bad news" in my life, but as it has been stated above, "all things work together for good to those that love God and are called according to His purpose," let me share with you how Father has worked it out, turned it around for good in my life.

    I'm a missionary in a third world country, even though the drainage system in the principle city for the rain is underground, there is always the stench of raw sewage flowing through them, on top of that the homeless use the sidewalks for their toilets, so much so that we need to be careful where we walk, not to mention all of the stray dogs running loose, ...now, my wife can smell it, and holds her nose,...but I don't smell a thing, PTL ...secondly, the Lord has supplied me with many opportunities to use the talent He has given me to cook to feed people, it literally blows their minds when we show up with enough food to feed an army (Father also provided us with a small van to transport it all) and tell them, "this is given to them in the love of Jesus Christ, He loves you and sent us here to tell you and feed you," ...so you see dear sis, Father will turn your sufferings around and fashion them into gold, a sweet smelling sacrifice to Him, I encourage you to do as I have learned to do and look at your infirmities in a different light (now that I'm where He wants me to be), ...we have abilities and gifts that most of His "normal" children don't have, it's a "normal" thing for us to offer our bodies a LIVING sacrifice daily, whereas His "normal" kids have to give up something to do it, ...they have to give up, sacrifice something that they have daily, we don't, Father has provided it Himself for us. Selah (think about it)

    So you might ask, how do we do this, how do we turn our sufferings into blessings, the Scripture is full of teachings, but for you, to answer your questions and bring you back into fellowship with us, I'm choosing the Song of Solomon 1:1- 8, before going on please read and meditated on these verses, it's a intimate love letter from Jesus to you precious one, please note there is only one King and ONE maiden in the story, His love for you, for me, for us is individual, precise, comforting, directed directly at our hearts, this isn't seed being broadcast in a field, this love letter is to you specifically, as if you were the only person on the planet.

    1. Solomon wrote over a thousand songs, but God chose to only record this one for us.

    2. Kisses on the mouth are an act of intimacy (the prodigal's father kissed him on the neck), our hearts desire is to have this intimacy, a personal relationship with Jesus that is so close it's like were are actually kissing Him, because our love for Him is so intense, ...personally, I don't look at all of my blessings or infirmities, add them up or count them and then love Him because of what He has given me, no, I love Him for just one reason, because He gave His life for me, if that was all that He has blessed me with, then that alone is my greatest blessing, that alone is enough to cause my heart to turn to Him in love, but it doesn't end there, wine is a type of joy in the Bible and He has given me joy unlimited, my heart bursts with joy unspeakable.

    3. We might not be able to smell the choice perfumes, but we can, in our spirits, smell the beauty of His name,

    "Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that name, kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there's something about that name"

    In the world, people that loose a sense often times have another of their senses become more perceptive, more acute, like the blind and their sense of touch, ...I believe it's the same with us, I have found He has made me very perceptive to the spiritual things of God, the Lord gives a gift to His children to use in their particular place in the Body, but it seems He has given me many gifts and He uses them daily in my life to manifest His love through them, so you see sis, some people (even ourselves) might say we are handicapped, and yes in the physical world we are, but in the Kingdom of God and what He is doing in the world today we are blessed.

    4. Jesus said, "no one comes to the Father unless He draws them," if Father hadn't drawn you, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be worried about your relationship with God, you would be out doing your own thing in the world, but because you have this concern proves your are one of His children, Jesus your King has brought into His Church.

    5-6. To have dark skin when this was written was a curse, women that were lily white were considered the fairest, but she recognized her beauty even though, ...the daughters of Jerusalem are the busy bodies in our lives (they can even be ourselves), those that are always finding fault, critiquing us, criticizing us, the curtains of Solomon were fine linen, pure and white, ...she knew, we know, our beauty is found only in Christ Jesus, it's His righteousness, His blood bestowed on us that cleanses us and makes us whiter than snow.

    7. Here the maiden is asking the same question you are asking precious one, ...where are you my King, where do you eat, where are you living, nothing else will satisfy me, ...and as your heart is crying for, as my hearts has also cried out, tell me, where are you, for you and you alone can and will satisfy my longings, can fill my heart, can make me whole and complete.

    8. Beloved, in this verse our King has answered our tears, ...follow the steps of the flock, that is, fellowship with other brothers and sisters, let them love on us and we will know He presence through His children, we must be a part of His Church, pray and ask Him to guide you to the body of believers that needs the particular gift you have to edify them and make them complete, ...and then get involved, find a ministry (feed the kids), use the gifts Father has given you, I have found when we are using our gifts to minister to others I don't think about my infirmities, they don't come to mind and when His love is flowing through us and out to others then some of that love just naturally fills us, satisfies us, refreshes us, revitalizes us, ...I find I'm not thinking about me, but rather about how can I serve others.

    One final thing to comfort you with and I'll be done, ...in "83 my precious wife prayed specifically, among other things, for an American husband, at that time in my life I was a savage pagan, a brute beast, filthy and defiled, steeped in debauchery, the Lord drew me out of the sess pool of humanity, washed me off, cleaned me up, enlightened me so that in '86 I invited the Lord into my life, to take control of it and to do with it as He pleased, He took me out of my comfort zone and brought me 5000 miles to this tiny little island in the middle of a very big ocean in '91, to where my Eve was waiting and when he had awakened me enough to realize I needed to find my Eve Gen 2:18 I prayed for her to come into my life, it was '94 when He introduced her to me, and it was all of His doing because we were on two different islands, and we married in the Lord in '95, so princess, pray for your Adam, he is somewhere, maybe he's like I was and needs a lot of preparation before Father can present you to him.

    So what I'm saying is, what you can see He has done with a wretch like me and my life, ... give Him your life unconditionally, with all of the defects and faults and watch how He will make something beautiful out of it in His timing, ...this is what my pastor gave me when I was in turmoil about my life, searching for God, so may I pass it on to you, ..Godliness with contentment is great gain.

    Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

    Nothing, nothing is to difficult for our God, the Lord Jesus Christ!

    In His Love, your brother in Christ,

    Gene
     
    Lifeasweknowit and Major say Amen and like this.
  6. Sure, I don't know you personally and may be reading into your posts. But it is a common issue. Your provision from God or lack of it should simply not affect your relationship with Him.

    How would you council a wife wanting to divorce...because her husband wasn't bringing home enough money? or talking much to her? The scripture I quoted said He draws near to us IF we draw near to Him. The ball is in our court not His.


    I am just trying to show you that God's hands could be tied from helping by you. So judge yourself (as we all should do every night)...if its not you and your heart is right (no feeling positive nonsense) then your hardships are simply God's will and He will hold your hand through it...just hang in there.

    I constantly remind myself of this verse.. Matt 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? This is proof that He holds our hands through any hardship! what scripture can be more comforting?
     
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  7. Actually it's even closer than that if we will just believe it and receive it,

    I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
    My Father, which gave them to me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand John 10:28, 29

    Picture there are two hands, Jesus' and the Father's, we are only one, so we have to be in the palm of one hand with the other hand covering us, for years I taught our security from this verse and the only way anything could ever touch us is a thumb of one of the hands had to move and open up a hole, recently Father showed me the error in my teaching, ...the only way anything could enter in and touch us was not though any thumb movement, but rather through the nail hole of the Cross.

    Blessings,

    Gene
     
  8. No offence, but I really dislike it when people say ''just believe and receive''. To truly believe.... the Holy Spirit has to reveal Jesus to us! 1 Cor 12:3 Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit.

    and the Holy Spirit can only do that ONCE the soil around our heart is toiled. A willing bride is prepared for the groom.
     
  9. No offense taken, but I don't understand how what you state coincides with the verse you posted.

    I believe in the necessity to believe and then receive, because there are a lot who believe but don't receive and of coarse it has to be the Holy Spirit revealing/enlightening/giving it to our spirits,

    He that believes and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believes not shall be damned. Mar 16:16

    But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: John 1:12

    That's where I'm coming from, I have found in my own life as well as others that I can believe a Truth/Promise in my head, but it doesn't do me any good until I receive it into my heart.

    However, in respect, love and compassion to our sister who is aching in her soul and is obviously going through a time of testing, rather than hijack this thread this is a subject we should discuss on another thread.

    In His Love,

    Gene
     
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  10. Uh oh, just received news my MIL is in intensive care, I'll be back later precious if you want to talk.

    Blessings,

    Gene
     
    ChangingMyself likes this.
  11. Thank you both for even taking the time to reply and try to help it mean a lot to me, I really appreciate it.
     
  12. On any medications? Also, once your metabolism starts to slow things like:

    1: Fluoride (tap water & toothpaste)
    2: GMO- Genetically Modified Organisms (pretty much over 90% of all our food in the grocery stores)
    3: Geoengineering- the stuff they are spraying in the air that is killing our environment
    4: Mercury laced vaccines-like your annual flu shot

    start to really affect your body. In the last 30 years, ADHD, ADD, Alzheimer's, cancer, obesity in the USA have all skyrocketed. Interestingly enough, no one wants to state the obvious. As the chemical use around us increases-so do diseases and conditions in the human body.

    MANY medications react with any one of the items above internally and react in odd ways. Not saying this is happening to you-but it is a possibility. Maybe you should look into a natural heavy metals detox for your body and see if that helps. By all means seek physician assistance; especially if you are diagnosed with anything or on any medications.

    You will find mixed opinions on any one of the topics above. My opinion is that anything created by man not intended to be digested in God's design is bad. This is just a stab in the dark mind you....
     
  13. Not on any medications. I went to drs and they told me allergies affect my sinuses they said my sinuses were clogged with debris. I had surgery to completely clear my sinuses. They still don't work. Still can't smell or taste. The only time I can smell is if I take a STRONG steroid taper and its a nightmare because steroids make me crazy. So I have to suffer. Just deal with it it seems until it corrects itself or like you said find an alternative way or something I don't know whats happening anymore. I have been to a Dr. A Ear Nose Throat Dr. an allergist, a asthma center. I'm just so hopeless.
     
  14. Neti Pot

    Use distilled/ filtered water. In other words-DON'T USE TAP WATER! Too many metals-chemicals like fluoride, chlorine, aluminum, sulfur, etc....goes right to the brain. Also, you want to avoid any possibility of a 'brain eating amoeba'. You'll also be surprised out how much the ear canals can affect your other sinus cavities-eyes, nose and taste buds. I think 70%+ of your 'tasting capabilities' actually are contributed to your nose.

    Also-using just clean distilled (lukewarm) water in a Neti Pot may be better than using the cleansing compound. Neti Pots are available in most big drug stores/ Walmart.

    I have had sinus issues all my life- I get what you are going through. The first time I used my Neti Pot was 'awkward' to say the least. Flush your sinus cavities, detox your body, and try a fast of nothing but veggies for 3 days (no dairy, protein starches, carbs).
     
  15. I have used a neti pot, I have used a sinus irrigation system. I have uses a sinus nebulizer...I have used everything and nothing seems to work. I can try to no dairy protein thing again I guess. I mean what do I have to lose. This sucks
     
  16. Try tasting 'organic' food-locally grown; most "organic" in chain grocery stores is not really organic. The more hormones, chemicals and antibiotics our food has injected or genetically influenced-the less flavor it has.

    SIDE NOTE: Also, 'gluten free' labeling is now prone to having small amounts of gluten thanks to the FDA allowing certain percentages of gluten products in 'gluten free' products. Before that, the labeling was up to the discretion of the producer.
     
  17. Nothing more to discuss, we see eye to eye. Just different ways of saying it. ;)
     
  18. my sense of smell and taste comes and goes quite allot.

    psalm 91 before i go to sleep and when first awaken,

    makes a huge difference .
     
  19. I have read through this thread and absorbed the questions and answers. Here is what I have understood. Maybe you said so but I did not see it.

    You lost your ability to smell & taste. Well, first of all, when must be able to smell in order to taste so they go hand in hand.

    You said you had surgery. What kind of surgery did you have. Did you follow up with any kind of therepy ???

    What you are describing can come from a "pituitary" tumor, so I advise you to have that checked out maybe by the doctor who performed your surgery. I simple x-ray can identify it.

    How ever, one of my children is 42 years old and about 10 years ago he was injured when he hit his head on the highway. From that he lost the ability to smell just as you have explained. He has however coped with this injury extremely well and over time some of the ability he lost has returned as the brain has figured out new routes to send signals. He went through some therepy classes and you would never know he has a problem.

    He attends his church on a regular basis and that has given him a wonderful support group of good people.

    Where do you go to church and do you attend on a regular basis???????

    Think of the good things this might do for you. Help in keeping weight down. Unable to smell really bad food Can not smell garbage, you can not smell dirty diapers!!!!

    Secondly........it is profoundly obvious that you are clinically depressed. I advise you to seek out a good "Internist" doctor and explain to him what is going on in your life. Anti-depressant medication can be helpful to you in your situation.

    So.....
    1. Go and check out that pituitary glad.
    2. Find an "Internist" doctor.
    3. Consider taking anti-depressant at least for the short time.
    4. Go to a good Bible based church.

    I will as other have said......pray for you and place you in the hands of God!
     
  20. Dear Changing, I can hear the frustration in your posts, along with the hurt and confusion of not getting the answers you seek. Maybe a way to find those answers is to try another route to reach them. If I may suggest, try thinking of yourself as someone who has been bought with a very high price. That means you belong to Jesus, if you are trusting in Him as your Savior. At the point of your decision to follow Jesus, you gave up your old life to live life as He directs. The things He requires from you include service, gratitude, fellowship, and blind obedience. In return, He offers us a better life...not so much in this life, but in the life after this. In this life, we are promised hardships and difficulties. That is because of the sin in the world that started with Adam and Eve. We live in bodies that are decaying from the time we are born, and we must learn to live with various ailments and stages of brokenness. The fact that you have lost your sense of taste and smell is important to you, and believe it or not, it is important to Jesus. He uses these times to bring us closer to Him. My Dear One, you have been chosen as a person that God desires to strengthen His relationship with. If you learn to work with Him in your despair rather than fighting against your ailment, you will learn to see your relationship in ways you could never imagine. I know this is true because I have seen it first-hand. If you approach your problems from the standpoint of "No matter what I think, or what I feel, I will praise my Lord and serve Him", then give your hurt to Him to carry in your prayers, and ask for His help to teach you His ways, not your ways, then He will know your sincerity and answer accordingly. He sees your heart, and He knows your hurt. However, He may be waiting for you to come to Him instead of expecting Him to come to you. You see, God is our Creator, and as such, He gets to make the rules we are to follow for a good and happy life. One of those rules is to live for others and put self last. I hope this helps you find the peace you are searching for.
     

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