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I would need outside outlook on relationship

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by aknele1510, Jan 22, 2015.

  1. I have a boyfriend who is wonderful, sensitive person with a good heart. We have been together for almost 1 year. I am a christian and he is agnostic. I have met him when I was born again christian, basically a baby in my faith and walk with Jesus. We became intimate early, and honestly I was not aware of consequences. He later told me that at the beginning of our relationship he had a dream and heard a voice in his dream saying ,,she is not the one". It left bad feeling in him. But we carried on because things were very good between us and we got along in every aspect of the relationship. I started to feel God telling me in my heart to stop being intimate with him, otherwise He cannot bless us. I have tried to ignore it, but eventually I couldn´t turn my back to it. I started to feel bad, cried out to God, yet I was not ready to repent. God pointed a verse in the Bible for me- Acts 27:22-25 which gave me a bit of insight. The sin started to be evident in my soul and I prayed to God not to let me go, that night before I fell asleep I have heard a voice telling me a Bible verses about the sin and God´s mercy. The next day I read the Bible and I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit so I could not take it anymore and cried out and repented for my sin, I could immediately feel I was forgiven and that God loves me more than anyone ever could. I have decided to talk to my partner straight away but didnt know how. Satan was trying to deceive me once again. So I asked Holy Spirit to put words into my mouth and to lead me in wisdom. There it happened - I heard the voice, it was not inside of me, but it sounded like someone being with me in the room and talking to me. the voice said ,,tell him (my partner) that I am waiting for him." It was very calm, steady voice, full of reassurence. I talked to my partner and we agreed that we will no longer sleep together. He is very loving and caring person. I told him as well about my experience and that God is waiting for him. He seemed calm and said that he will go to the church. Later in the evening I have started to doubt whether it was God´s voice or enemy´s voice (Please, don´t judge me, I love God with all my heart but I had too much confusion and pain lately and I am aware of the fact that it is only my responsibility) and suddenly the voice said ,,blessed are those who did not see and yet believed". My question is - I had terrible squeezing feeling inside of me several times after this happened, the feeling was literally urging me to leave my bf. It was very painful emotion and full of despair. Since God works on the 2 or 3 witnesses, do you think my relationship has the future and God has plan for us? How would you define these feelings full of despair that I have now and then, even though I have repented and sin no more? Could it be satan trying to make me feel bad?
    I am sorry for a long story. In prayers I am reassured that everything will be okay, and I feel peace within me, yet sometimes feeling of despair overwhelmes me out of the blue.
    Thank you for your replies, brothers and sisters
    Waggles and Cinderella8 say Amen and like this.
  2. Welcome (though it's customary to say hello in the welcome's area) :)

    If you have not done so as of yet please read CFS forum rules and getting started threads here

    And here

    About your situation, no one can tell you what to do, only the Holy Spirit. All I can say is what the scriptures say:

    2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (ESV2011)
    Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

    Again, Welcome to CFS
    Waggles and Cinderella8 say Amen and like this.
  3. You want to be sure what you are sensing is of the Holy Spirit and not of the devil. Nothing wrong with that. There is a battle going on inside of you, and you need to remember your spiritual ammunition. Yes, you have confessed and repented, and thank God that your friend has agreed to go to church. Don't be discouraged or in anguish about what you are feeling. Look at the truth. Don't let your mind go off into all kinds of fears and scenarios. Be strong in the Lord, and continue in obedience. If this relationship is meant to be blessed of God in the future, your friend will come to realize that he needs Jesus in his life first. Don't rush anything, but watch for the fruit of the Spirit in your friend's life. If it isn't meant to be, God will let you know. And spend time in the Word and in prayer, to be sensitive to God's leading.
    JG27_chili, Abdicate and aknele1510 says Amen and like this.
  4. Thank you, Cinderella8. You gave me a good advice, probably the one I needed to hear. So the time and prayer shows what is meant to be and what is not.
    Cinderella8 likes this.
  5. It's just about whether you are willing to connect your life with a "non-believer" or not. I was in similar situation and I chose break up. I see it as a right decision after years.
    But your case may be different and you have to listen to God and be careful.
  6. My second wife was not a true Christian but was open to God so I decided to marry her on the assumption that I could nurture her faith and lead her to salvation. That actually did happen but there were other things that should have been considered. She had mental problems and had tried to take her own life two or three times before I knew her plus she shoved a whole bottle of pills in her mouth once when I was living with her. She easily became upset and her arguments tended to be unreasonable.

    On the subject of sex before marriage, I had been denied sex so much by my first wife that I didn't even think about it when I moved in with this woman and started having daily sex. (She actually enjoyed having sex). A couple of months after moving in I started feeling guilty about my sin. I hadn't yet divorced my first wife and realized I was committing adultery. I reluctantly mentioned it to my gal friend and suggested I should start sleeping in the spare bedroom. She went nuts and I backed off. Decided that the sin had already been committed and excused it because we were planning on getting married. Looking back, I wish I had had the strength to say no from the beginning. It also might have made me see more clearly about who I was marrying and I would have avoided what followed. We were only married 9 months when she asked for a divorce because I had lost my job and she was afraid she would have to pay my first wife's alimony. Trying to reason with her didn't work. So I guess the moral of the story is to do God's will and look to Him for wisdom before marrying someone.
    Cinderella8 likes this.
  7. Robine, thank you for sharing this story and I am truly sorry that the things didn´t work out in your marriage. I appretiate your answer because i could look at things from the other perspective as well. Well, for now, I am waiting for God to lead my steps, even though it is hard at times and I am tempted to take things into my own hands but He always reminds me to listen and wait and I know that I know far less than God does. May God richly bless you, I hope only the best for you! :)
  8. Actually, this story was not mine but Michael Douthat's :)
  9. I have also been where you are. Like Michael I have 100% regret. The steps of a righteous person are lead by the Lord Psalm 37:23. So if this or any guy that comes your way does not love Jesus, do you think God sent him to you?

    Stop the intimacy and I am sure the relationship will die. If it doesn't judge the guy properly. Loving Jesus isn't saying ''I love Jesus'' or going to church, those are byproducts. Many could be drawing closer to Jesus but not yet with Him James 4:8. You don't need inner peace, our body can fake that and our minds are mostly ignorant. Judge the guy! Is he on a path toward....1. Hating what is evil Rom 12:9? 2. Denying himself for Jesus Matt 16:24 and 3. self sacrificing to those beneath him with no thought of reward James 1:27.

    Then judge yourself. You say you love Jesus. Do you really? You have given your body to a man and considering dedicating your entire life to someone that does not love whom you say you love....with all your heart soul and mind. Please try see the truth of what I am saying. I also failed terribly when I judge myself. When we need to sin / disobey God's commandments to keep someone, we love that someone more then Jesus. How in the universe don't we?
  10. Thanks for you comment. I got my answers recently which I have been waiting for. I dont fight to keep the guy, even though it hurts, when we met I was young at faith and had no idea about the consequences, I didnt understand it. Now I see it, yet certain things have been done. I know I failed, and believe me I dont need to be reminded. I turned away from sin and the rest will be God´s will.

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