I Thought I Was Saved. Now I'm Unsure. Dealing With Fear And Frustration.

Discussion in 'Fellowship Time' started by banjo71, Oct 5, 2013.

  1. I'm really struggling. I know about God's love towards me, how God sent Jesus to die for me. But I'm asking God to help that sink in. I need to experience God's love on a different level than just knowledge.

    Have any of you guys ever been where I am? Where you are kind of like Thomas and you need an extra push in the right direction?

    I don't know what exactly this all means. Maybe I've never believed like I thought I did. Thomas confessed and believed after the fact, so sometimes I wonder if I'm not really a Christian yet.

    My gosh, I feel so ashamed and confused! I need someone to love me like God claims to love his children. I'm putting all my eggs in one basket for Jesus to be that person. But it hasn't sunk in yet. I'm so miserable as a result! Can anybody comfort me?
  2. The difference between our faith and every other belief system is the difference between "advice" and "news". Yeshua didn't just come to give advice. He came to bear our debt, to pay for the penalty of our sins (the wages of sin is death), so that we could be free to forgive one another as he forgave us. Its not advice that is the message of the bible, but it is news, good news. The news that God has intervened on our behalf, and has provided forgiveness for our sins.
    We are beings that need unconditional all accepting love. Our problem is that none of us know how to give this kind of love because all of our love is conditional in some way and is self serving. But God who is the embodiment of love, and who does not need love, became a willing sacrifice and gave his life as a ransom for sin. Why? Because we needed love. And so that we could receive the kind of love we as beings so desperately needed - unconditional, accepting love and so that we could become the kind of people he created us to be.

    It's not what we can do for God but what He has done for us. He entered "our world," He took on
    "our humanity," He bore "our sins," He died "our death, "He was resurrected for "our life," He's coming again for "our glorification."

    Once we fully realize this we can be used by God.

    God saves us to perform good works. He does not save us by our works but His purpose in saving us is so that we can operate and work to bear fruit in the new man, in our newborn human spirits. That is how to get stronger. Romans 12 -
    loganis likes this.
  3. Paul in his letter to the Romans is urging us on the basis of all that he taught on, on the basis of all that has been done, he urges us to become living sacrifices:
    I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:1, 2 KJV)

    If we have not understood all that the mercies of God has done, if we have not understood doctrinally and theologically deep enough, all that Messiah has accomplished for us, then we have become useless to him. God is calling us to live our lives as living sacrifices unto him. Our problem is, we are so prideful that we are not willing to give up anything for others. When a sacrifice was laid upon the altar there was a great deal of suffering involved, the animal experienced pain and suffering. What are we willing to give up? What are we willing to place upon the altar? So that we can become a blessing to others, and become servants of the Most High God?
  4. I get it:

    questioning faith
    questioning creation
    even questioning the existence of Jesus Christ?

    Yup-I am right there with you. But then I have days like today in Church; when you 'feel'/ sense the Holy Spirit moving and then we have 3 souls come forward. It's times like that I remember it's not about "me". That old selfish whiner that I am. Lately 2 versus have been gnawing at my spirit:

    Matthew 11:
    29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

    John 1:
    14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.

    I think when we examine the character of Christ we either

    A: compare our unholy selves Him and wonder why God would want to have anything to do with me.


    B: marvel and strive to be more like Him.

    We get to to choose our attitude on how we approach this. I think it is a continuous process of both A & B. We have to flip the switch from A to B when we get into a 'funk' as our Pastor puts it. Often times A "feels" better because #1 it appeals to our selfish nature and worse #2 the 'evil'/ 'wicked' one knows how to use our own nasty self against our self driving a larger wedge between us and God by our own doing.

    Our faith is foolishness to the world. We follow a God that makes the impossible possible. The foolish things of God are wiser than the total knowledge of men. Better to be a fool for the Lord than wallow in our own 'wisdom' that separates us from Jesus Christ. Being a Christian is an absolute ludicrous notion following the rational of our own logic.

    Sometimes we have to say to our 'self': FORGET YOU! I also have found by my own personal experience-the less I read my Bible and the more disobedient that I am-the more my faith declines-RAPIDLY.

    Then I have a day like today-seeking His 'Truth and Grace' serving others at our Church. I witness 3 miracles-which are 3 souls accepting Christ as their Savior- YES these are modern day miracles. Why you might ask? Because it does not make any worldly 'sense' to follow Christ. Praise our Holy God. Amen.
    loganis and JustPassingThru say Amen and like this.
  5. I feel for you, been there, done that, actually it's a growing time in your walk with the Lord. First off you need to sincerely answer this question.

    Do you confess from your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart Jesus rose from the dead?

    If you answer is a sincere yes then according to Rom 10:9 you will be/are saved.

    If the answer is a sincere no then what you are experiencing is the Father drawing you to Himself, has there been a time in your life when you knew in your heart you were a sinner, destined for Hell and you asked Jesus to save you?

    If your answer is no then today is the day of salvation for you if you pray sincerely from your heart, knowing you are destined for Hell and ask Jesus to save you, ...you will be saved.

    If your answer is yes then Father is weaning you off of confidence in your faith into confidence into His faith, I used to have confidence in my faith (I think all of His children do because we are babes in Christ and don't know the difference) and went through times just like you are experiencing, but now I have learned to have confidence in His Faith, like Paul said, "when I was a child I thought like a child, when I became a man I left the childish things behind."

    So remember, true Faith comes from hearing and hearing from the Word of God, Rom 10:17, spend a lot of time in the Word, talking back to Father what you are reading, asking questions, looking for conformations, at first our faith is being built by believing what the Word says, maybe not necessarily understanding sometimes, just believing it's true and let Father explain to you in His timing, ...me/you/us/all of His children..., the just live by faith Hab 2:4, it's a process of growing (growing pains) into the image of His Precious Son Jesus Christ.

    One last thing, don't count it strange the fiery trials that come on you, if you are heaven bound then don't think you are exempt from that old serpent whispering in your ear, "did God really say Gen 3:1 (you are saved)?" Resist the temptation, speak out loud, "I CONFESS JESUS CHRIST AS MY LORD AND SAVIOR AND I BELIEVED HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD, I'M WASHED BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB, THE WORD SAYS, GOD HIMSELF SAYS, I AM SAVED!!! ...and brother, watch the enemy flee. Jas 4:7

    Welcome to the family,


  6. Gene,
    Thanks to you, and also Intojoy and Brother Mike, all of you...

    I can (and do) confess that Jesus is Lord. I don't understand how I believe the next part (actually I don't have to understand, but sometimes I find myself wanting to know how), but I do believe God raised him from the dead. I believe he's eternal.

    It's interesting you bringing up "weaning off my own confidence in my faith into His faith." because I've been reading 1 Peter 1:6-9 before I read your response. I've also considered chapter 5:8-10.

    Today I had another rough day, one of frustration and anger. I find that if I'm brutally honest, as fearful as it is to be that way, (because I find myself always wanting to put an "acceptable face of belief" mask in front of God) that not putting that mask on in front of God clears some really deep issues sometimes - like unbelief and doubt, worry and troubling thoughts.

    I appreciate all of your responses!


  7. My Pastor preached a message a couple weeks back about about making good choices.

    I am finding that I have to make the choice everyday to try* to live in faith the best I can when I wake up. I have not learned the habit of praying or reading my Bible first thing in the morning-yet. But I find myself thinking on God when I awake. I usually have a hymnal tune playing in my mind before my feet touch the floor out of bed.

    Now I have stirred the pot about what classifies as "spiritual songs and hymns" before; I will say that NOT listening to CCW- Contemporary Christian Worship has made a positive difference in my spiritual walk. Many others will disagree-but that is not the point I am trying to make. God made us all different-with free will choice.

    As I have stated before many times-recently again on another post: God chastens His children in the here and now. Unbelievers will face the judgment to come. If we are not being 'chastened' here and now-I would be seriously concerned about the eternal condition of the soul. This includes the 'testing' of our faith; which is usually brought on by our own doubts. But if we allow the Lord to temper us in the flame-we will be purified at the end of the process.

    I would much rather be purified in the here and now-rather than burned off in the here after. God be merciful to me a sinner....
  8. Fantastic!!!

    It's not so much how as to why, hanging on the Cross Jesus took on the sins of all humanity, they were placed on His shoulders so to say, He who know no sin took on the sins of the world, so at the appointed time, 3:00 in the afternoon when they Temple sacrificial lamb was being slain, we read Jesus dismissed His Spirit (because He was God in a human body if He hadn't done that the Body would still be there today, because God can't die), so He descended to preach in Hell for three days and three nights, because that was the sign He gave that would prove to the Jews He was their Messiah, He rose from the dead, but there is the problem, He had become sin for us, so would the Father permit this Man to leave Hell, ...yes because He was the sacrificial Lamb of God without spot or blemish, that's a very condensed explanation, ...do you see it, can you understand it, if not then reread it over and over, praying the Holy Spirit will teach you so that you can receive it into you soul, once there it's yours, you own it and no one can take it from you.

    Now don't be afraid and/or doubt, Father loves you and sent His Son to die in your place, He wants only the best for you, don't listen to the hissing serpent whispering in your ear, "Did God really say?" Yes He did, ...now gird up you lions, man up, get tuff and believe it, for it's impossible for God to lie!


  9. And another thing, we don't think we are saved, we know we are saved 1 Jn 5:13, ...do you have a daily Bible reading plan that will take you through the entire Bible once every year? Do you read with paper and pencil handy to jot down what Father will say to you? If we don't do this then Father knows we aren't really serious, so He holds off until we are, ...kinda sounds like where you are doesn't it?

    Blessings brother,

  10. Banjo71, you are under attack from Satan and, as hard as it is at first, you can glory in that fact, all by itself. When you took Jesus as your Savior, you were, unconditionally saved, period. If you were not saved and if you were not irritating Satan, you would not be under attack from him. God has counted you worthy to be tested and there is no greater honor in this world.

    This is the time you need to read the book of Job through two or three times. Not knowing your study habits I might be off base here but I promise, I seek to edify and not to discourage so here goes; When you took the LORD you were indwelt with the Holy Spirit as the token of your salvation but with that comes a responsibility. It is your duty to study to grow your faith and your ability to obey the Spirit. If you will take a journey through the Bible, it will be a year long study and will consume 15 to 25 minutes a day. From this effort God will reveal Himself to you in ways you never expected nor thought of.

    God bless my brother and my prayer has already lifted you issue to the LORD and as the Spirit moves me I will continus on your behalf.
  11. I woke up this morning with a fear that I'm lost and that my friends in Christ know forgiveness, but I don't. I journaled a little and basically noted, that I don't want to journal. I read some literature on God's grace. Then I logged into this site onto this thread. God strengthened me with your guys' responses. Bill Taylor, I often feel like Satan is trying to sift me out and that maybe I'm being harassed by him. I also struggle with mental illness in the form of schizophrenia and wonder sometimes if Satan likes to pick on the really weak ones. I thank you and Gene again for your support. It's been encouraging for me.
  12. Psalm 90 was written by Moses after the judgment of the wilderness wandering was in effect. The fact is that those people did not lose their salvations and reading this psalm can apply to your mental fears.

    Moses prays "teach us to number our days so that we can apply our hearts to wisdom".

    "For the number of our days are three score and ten".

    We have each of us 70 years or 25550 days. At 49 I have lived 17885 days and have 7000 plus days left until my 70th BDay. Once we reach the age of 70 there is no guarantee that both our physical strength or mental sharpness will remain in tact.

    To Moses and the Jewish people "wisdom" meant skillfully living for The Lord. There are many Christians who have outlived the 70 years given to man who have lost their ability to think clearly and to remember what they once believed. They are still saved because all who believe including you are gifts from the Father to His Son and Jesus our great and Good Shepherd promised us that He will never leave us nor forsake us and that all whom the Father gives to Him He shall lose nothing.
  13. Banjo, bro, look at what you said,

    IF you think satan is sifting you, then that's a sign you are saved, satan doesn't mess with his own, another thing, where did you get the term sifting, that's a Bible term, which means you had to receive it from the Word and to receive from the Word it has to be first given to us by the Holy Spirit 2 Cor 4:4.

    Another thing, you must believe there aren't any accidents in God's universe Matt 10:29-31, because if there was just one then He would not be God, ...so, it wasn't an accident you found this site in the billions of bytes that exist in cyber space, no my friend, it was a Divine appointment for you by your loving Heavenly Father to bring you here where His Children can love on you and help you.

    Something else, to make it even more precise, ...in '82 I went crazy/insane/nuts, what ever they want to call it, but by the Grace of God they let me be an out-patient when I should of been locked up n a padded room (and this was before I was born again), they diagnosed me as schizophrenic/paranoid/depressed, gave me some drugs to take and out the door I went, took the drugs one time because it was just like coming on to LSD, a few days later a friend took me to church where they gave me a Bible with the words of Jesus written in red, I found that when I read the words written in red it would slow down my racing mind and I could sleep for a few minutes, for me it took 18 months before I was declared healed by them, ...just from reading those words in red, ...I was a babbling idiot, but that is definitely not your case, so I suggest very strongly you start reading your Bible, especially the Gospels, and here is a treasure I never found during that time, 2 Tim 1:7, do you see that, what it's saying is Jesus doesn't want you to be mentally ill, you don't have to remain in that state, that is a promise from the Lord to you so receive it.

    I know I'll get some flack from this with all the demonic physiological teaching that has infiltrated the Church, ...but it's true, God's Word can heal us, there was a old Texas Bible preacher, James Vernon Magee, he had such a high confidence in the healing power of the Word that he would go into to the big cities and talk to prostitutes, drug addicts, people in the gutters with mental health problems and ask them it they wanted to be healed, if they said yes he would take them to a ranch, clean them up, feed them and then put them in an unlocked room with a Bible and tell them to start reading, they could come out at any time and were free to leave, there were a few that left and went back to their old habits, but there were many, many more that came out of their rooms healed, got saved, went to his church and went out into the world to help those that had the same problems they had been healed from, ...healed, just from reading His Word, ...now to all the naysayers, say and believe what you want, take your drugs and don't look at the Brazen Serpent, ...but I was healed from severe mental illness just by reading Jesus' Words, and you can't dispute that fact.

    Banjo, dear brother, please, please, give Jesus a chance, me and a lot more in Texas were healed simply by reading and appropriating the Truth into our hearts.

    In God's love,

  14. I grew up in a church that I later perceived to be legalistic. A lot of demands and an opposite theology in some ways. A young convert would go thru a conversion period, confessing his sins and putting his fleshly sins away, until he came to peace with God. Then he would go thru a proving before the elders and the assembly. Then he was baptized and saved, being made a new member of the church. Many who went there believed they were the only ones going to heaven. Even at the baptism of my own sister, they asked her if she would wear her hair the same way her grandma did before they dunked her. And it was my uncle doing the baptizing. So, my family was deep into these traditions.

    My gosh it was a confusing church. A lot has changed since then, but in short, God kept me from joining this church twice. I believe that with all my heart, that God was protecting me from the legalistic background. I go to a church now which is non-denominational, preaching the grace and cross of Christ.

    So, although I read about grace in the bible, my emotions tend to remind me of those old times, and I am the hardest person on myself now. Matthew 23:15 says a lot. It almost got me, too.

    I tend to think my behaviors are either black or white - no grey area involved. But I'm beginning to see that grace isn't restricted to "white" behavior. If that makes sense. White - being a great heart attitude and good performance. God's grace is bigger than that. But sometimes false humility can deceive the person who has it, and God sees right through to the pride.

    So sometimes I am confused - am I being proud or not? Am I resistant to God or not? Have I been so proud and resistant in my past that I can't tell the difference anymore? These are the types of questions that scare me.

    All I truly know, is that in my life, I will admit I have earned wages of death, not life - not worthy of the life Jesus gives and the Holy Spirit dwelling inside gives. But God loves the whole world, and that John 3:16 verse melts my heart, because that means me too.
  15. Dear brother,

    From what you have written shows you are a Child of God, a nonbeliever would never have those feelings or fears.

    What you are going through is just a test and all tests, as it is written in he Old Testament, ...it---came ---to---pass, they are destined to pass before they come, ...do you see how much Father loves you/us?

    You have arrived in your walk with the Lord where He wants you to mature, from what I see in your words is you have faith in your faith, which is where all of us start, a mustard seed size of (His) faith given to us when we are born again Eph 2:8 and a whole lifetime of faith in our faith, as we develop spiritually, mature in the Lord, we face tests that our faith can't solve or see us through, hence the need to live in the faith that comes from the Lord, as it's written, "The just live by faith," and this faith is not from ourselves or our life experiences, but, ...(this) faith comes from hearing and hearing from the Word of God, that's why you need a Bible reading program, so that you can hear God speaking to you.

    So, we have come full circle, do you, in faith, believe Rom 10:9? you need to appropriate this Truth John 8:32 (so that you will be set free from this bondage to fear) into your heart.

    Do you see that before you can advance in the Lord you need to pass this test?

    I'm not saying the devil won't hassle you about your salvation, but you response will be to cite Rom 10:9 (once appropriated into our hearts it's ours, we own it and no one can take it from us), Paul says it's our offensive weapon, the Sword of the Word.

    Also you need to read 1 John 5:13 and learn why we know what we know, appropriate that Truth into your heart also and it will be another step in you walk of faith, ...we start out with baby steps and Father is there holding out His hands to us encouraging us to take more steps of faith.

    Thea ya go, two steps you can take in faith and this test you are in will pass, as soon as you appropriate these Truths into your heart you will be able to look back on the test, it will be behind you, ...it---came---to---pass.


    th1bill likes this.
  16. "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
    -James 4:8a
  17. banjo71, I cannot begin to understand your schizophrenia, I am not afflicted with that but I am in the final stage of MS, also affecting chemical imbalance of the brain, and I also am routinely attacked by the father of lies. I have learned to glory in this truth and tell all that I am blessed. My right side s spasmodic because of the damage, being done, to my nervous system.

    I have found my strength in the prayerful reading of the book of Job. Father God counted Job worthy to be tested and therefore allowed Satan to test him, the same is true of me and I will tell you that I believe the same is true of you. Just remember, God has allowed Satan to test you because He has counted you worthy.

    God bless, my brother.
    KingJ likes this.
  18. it means it's time for you take a leap in faith and a leap in love ..
    are you waiting for someone to push you ???
    are you afraid of taking a chance ???
    no one pushed Peter out on the water ..

    love and trust (faith) walk hand in hand, and are inseparable ..
    if you do not give great trust/faith and love ..
    then you are not expecting it back ..
    but He had faith/trust in us first, and loved us first ..
    so all you have to do is commit to making it mutual ..
    and the door will swing wide open ..
    first KNOW He believes in you ..
    then you will KNOW He loves you ..
    building on that means never wanting to disappoint Him (sin against Him)
    and if you do that, He will not disappoint you ..
    when you are there, come find me if you have not yet received the Holy Spirit ..
    I guarantee you .. there is nothing better ..
    and I could not imagine my life without the Holy Spirit ..

    doubt is the crippler ..
    just like when we pray .. we pray as we have already received ..
    dUmPsTeR likes this.

  19. I'd like to know how to receive the Holy Spirit.
  20. Ask Christ-truly and genuinely into your heart (get your 'self' out of the way) and the Comforter will be there.
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