I Need To Know If Any Of You Have Seen This With Relationships...please Help Me.

Discussion in 'New Members Welcome' started by Sienna Reynolds, Sep 27, 2013.


Godly Relatioships: Have ANY OF YOU seen this, or been through this? PLEASE HELP ME!

  1. Relationships

    1 vote(s)
  2. Love

    0 vote(s)
  1. So, my boyfriend and I love eachother deeply and have been planning on getting married for a long time now. We are both... Christians, major christians who love God dearly.

    But lately, both of us have been getting shaken and spoken to by God about SOMETHING with our relationship. And he finally realized that God has been telling us that we need to end our relationship and remain friends in christ in build ourselves through christ. Because, ever since we started dating.... We have become, soooo distant from God. To the point where he has given up ministry school for ME, because they do not allow dating (so your foccus can be on God). He loves me so much... That he said NO to that. And now we both realize how wrong that was.... The devil has been tempting us sexually too. We keep saying we will stop doing these...um, well, four play things (that will be my rated PG version, lol) but then we will fall back into old habbits and feel soooooooooo guilty and horrible and want to cry.

    So anyway, we have decided... To be nothing more than friends... Who deep down to love eachother and go to church together and only take car rides together to resist from acting on our love for eachother. This will be for a year or so. Maybe longer, maybe shorter. Depending on what God is teaching us in that time apart...

    We want to not be tempted to do sinful things, and we want to become mature and find our identity in God before we get married. And plus, he has a calling from God to be in the ministry in a big way, and I have been getting in the way of that for too long. He was given up so much for me... And he has ignored the holy spirit telling him, "NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOU TWO TO BE TOGETHER."

    My point in posting this, is i am deeply wondering if YOU have ever seen anyone, maybe yourself, maybe someone you know... Who has gone through this, and what their story was with all of it.... How did it go down? I need someone to talk to about this.... I am lost, and i need help because this is so so so heart breaking. I am letting go of my lover, and having to force myself to only be his friend in Christ.... I am crying as i am typing this....
  2. Get married ASAP if ur both believers.
    Unless there's missing info here, if ur both mature adults why are u waiting?
    Major likes this.
  3. Sexual attraction/desire is not sinful its neutral. If it turns into lust (foreplay without a ring and a date) it becomes sin. If you both love God you should solve your sexual desires God's way thru marriage. Good luck kid.

    For God sent not the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through him.

    You are already saved? Then honor God in your relationship and He will honor you.
  4. Personally I question anyone who claims that the God of the universe is speaking to them.
    If there's conviction then put a time limit on the physical separation. Give it 3 months of working on friendship, then decide if you love each other and want marriage.

    Sounded like you ready knew so I still believe you can marry without delay - I would.

    Again, the Holy Spirit talking to him is not believable to me.
  5. Hey Sienna, I can definitely empathise with what you are experiencing. All of us fumble through relationships. I'd be happy to share from my own experiences; I can think of a few things my wife and I sorted through ourselves while we were dating that may help you to think about things from other perspectives. Before I try that, though, it's a little unclear from your post about what you want from the community here... do you want advice about how you might make your relationship still work out? Have you decided that moving on is the best choice, and you're wanting advice about how to manage your emotions in that decision? Or are you just wanting to talk through these issues to help you sort through what happened?
  6. Oh children, when will you see?

    Lust and flesh are only temporary-seek the everlasting first...

    God does not require you to be in misery or to have guilt; BUT, if we want God's blessings on our lives we are bound in love to Christ as our first love-our first marriage-else our other relationships become adulterous to Christ. If you two are truly Christians; then perhaps the Holy Spirit is moving in your lives too mature you in your relationships with both Christ and each other. In other words-you need to make some life decisions on where your future is headed:

    A: Together with Christ
    B: Alone with Christ
    C: Together without Christ
    D: Alone without Christ

    We are at will to decide; to reap what we sow...

    May the Lord give you guidance and wisdom.

    When you accept Jesus Christ spiritually in faith as your Savior-you become wedded to Him in the Holy Spirit, you are then baptized into the 'Body of Christ'-the Church. Remember your first love....

    All blessing require sacrifice-that sacrifice is usually giving up our 'self'.
  7. #7 aha, Sep 27, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2013
    i clicked the Profile: Female, 17
    17 is not yet a marrying age, i think : )

  8. Change waiting period to 12 months.
  9. that is a good thing to do...
  10. #10 KingJ, Sep 27, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2013
    Lets consider the facts and then conclude

    1. God is not naive, He created sex.
    2. If two who love Christ are together, God was very likely involved in the union.
    3. As Aha noted, 17 is young!
    4. We all have a ministry for Christ, God using him in a 'big way' should not interrupt a relationship.
    5. Ending things and remaining friends sounds abnormal. Abnormal = other temptations / even tenser / desperate attraction to him.

    Conclusion: Put Christ first and be Christians in the relationship! Christians avoid / flee temptation 2 Tim 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. So, no time alone behind closed doors. No entertaining 4 play. Put those barriers up to respect God and yourself.

    If he can't, then these questions arise. Does he love and respect God? What are you doing with someone who doesn't? Not being physical before marriage and given your age would show he has respect for you. If you can't have a relationship without sex, then don't fool yourself into thinking you have a relationship.

    The man is to be the spiritual leader. He should introduce measures to avoid temptation. You should encourage him too and support them. Not leading him on. Moderate dress-code!

    This is clearly a test for you. You have an opportunity to let God know how much you respect Him, or for yourself to discover how much you don't.

    Good luck, praying for you to do the respectful thing.

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