I Need Some Help And Guidance.

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Lifeasweknowit, Feb 10, 2013.

  1. I came on this site roughly around the time I attempted a "food" fast. As many of you know, I have struggled with an eating disorder and thus, I was not able to complete that type of fast. I decided to fast on other things; I deactivated my Facebook after some time in prayer, gave up drinking, dating, and one other thing I am choosing not to mention. My primary goal was and is to build my relationship with the Lord in a way that I never have before.

    Disclosure: I am not saying that any of you will....but please do not judge my type of fast, saying that it should be "easy" or "come naturally" as I am following Christ. I have just recently (past 6 mo.-1 year) taken my walk with the Lord seriously and therefore, am slowly eliminating things of the "world". What I did recently, that I did not anticipate, was completely cut off the world.

    I went from being an extrovert, going out multiple times a week and every weekend, barely being at home, going on dates left and right, to staying at home and sometimes not leaving the house for days in a row. I thought to myself:

    -What is the point of going out with certain friends to the bar if I'm not going to drink? So no bars.
    -What is the point in hanging out with wordly friends if they will only question my faith as opposed to strengthen it? So I've ceased most communication with them.
    -What is the point in this fast if I substitute it with other things that fill up my time? Nothing. In that case it's a self-righteous attempt to say "I was strong enough to do this." Or as our pastor said about a food fast "...a little more than a diet."

    Essentially, one thing led to another. Deactivation of Facebook, meant very little communication and giving up drinking and dating meant not accepting many invites that would come my way outside of FB.

    I am now going through a deep depression and mood swings. I go from wanting to die one day, to feeling whole and new the next. I am going through a deep spiritual battle and beginning to question many things I hadn't before. I assume this comes with the territory since I have begun to read the bible and take my faith seriously, but it is still tough. I feel horrible for ever doubting my faith.

    My question is why am I going through this? I thought that daily (sometimes ALL DAY) prayer and communication with our Lord and Savior, reading the bible, and eliminating most worldly influences would strengthen and renew my faith. Instead I feel extreme ups and downs, a spiritual battle within me, and condemnation for the smallest things.

    I would greatly appreciate your opinion, advice, and/or insight to what you think might be going on. Thanks you in advance.
  2. To be honest, it is difficult to say anything much that would be meaningful or helpful. As for myself when I feel depressed, I eat. When my wife feels depressed, she goes off food. We are all different, we all cope with things differently.
    So, the only judgmental thing I have to say is that you should not condemn yourself nor reproach yourself...you're getting enough of that sort of stuff from Satan.

    Are there any conservative Church groups over your way that have a healing ministry? I say conservative because that is where you will find true prayerful ministry. Keep clear of the 'happy clappy' set that think Jesus is just a genie in a Bible just waiting to grant three wishes...if you have enough faith that is. Their prayer is not answered because they are the ones making a lot of noise to hide their own lack of faith, and there is altogether too much counterfeiting going on out there .
    I have had personal experience with healing...........long story, the healing service took place in an Anglican Cathedral (Episcopalian I think you guys would call it). Nobody running round giggling and carrying on in an unruly fashion, just a team of the Lord's servants who have a call to a very special ministry.
    I'm not going to belt you over the head with a pile of Bible verses, nor criticize you in any way. I just want to assure you that you are very special, and that Jesus cares deeply about you. How this will play out for you, we will just have to wait and see, but I'm sure the Lord has a plan for you.

    I've already been roused on :D for not addressing your questions so,
    As I said condemnation comes from the taunts of Satan. That does not mean it is inside of you, just there bugging you.
    If you will pardon a candid observation, you seem to be placing a lot of reliance on what you do, maybe at the expense of relying on what the Lord can/is doing. But you must be the judge of that, not me or anyone else.
    As for why you are going through this.....again no body on the web can answer that. The glib answer would be that it is a time of testing of your faith. Personally I don't think so, you have some special needs that are not being met as yet.
    Mean time girl, hugs from me.
    Major and Lifeasweknowit say Amen and like this.
  3. This is my take on your situation: You should consider both the physical aspects of what you are doing and the spiritual aspects.

    First the physical:
    1. If you have been used to drinking, at whatever level, a sudden stop is best for your mind, BUT you body will protest. I am NOT recommending a gradual stopping; what you have done is good, but your body has to go through a time of readjustment. Instead of fasting, eat as healthily as possible, lots of veggies and fruit and fish.
    2. If you smoked or were a passive smoker (which, according to what your bar visits numbered, you are a passive smoker), than a bodily readjustment is needed for that as well. A healthy diet will help, but a soft exercise program will make it go away faster. Try swimming, walking, cycling outdoors.
    3. Have you had a medical check up lately? Anemia, and thyroid problems for ladies is sadly overlooked and can lead to major mood swings. Both can be easily fixed without drugs!
    Now the spiritual:
    1. Get active in your church with people your age if you can. If not, older folks will do just as well in some things.
    2. Talk to a youth pastor about outreach: if you were an extrovert, being an extrovert for the Lord is a great mission-field.
    3. Consider taking some community college class for fun, the ones you didn't do for credit. Take that pottery class, that Spanish course or even, hey, Poetry of the Middle Ages, if that ever interested you!
    Don't neglected either the spiritual or the physical: God made you a whole person, so don't make yourself a nun now that you are over being "party girl".
    Dirtyrottensinner and Lifeasweknowit say Amen and like this.
  4. For the mental part of your dilemma, I would recommend a nutritional book for the fact that much of our bad health of which ever kind, while on Earth is coming from being outside of God's perfect environment (his Garden of Eden) that he had for his first people. The foods recommended for optimal health including good mental health are similar to eating of the whole foods that God would have for his first people in his garden. The book makes a world of sense. Using & following it does help: "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. Reading another of his books, "Fasting and Eating for Health" allowed me to do a successful water fast last year. I probably wrote of this in my posts at http://www.health-revelations.com/2012/11/health-revelations.html . I tried another water fast recently in December last year, but it was a failure. I was too busy, stressed-out and working too much.

    For spiritual health, I constantly read some in the New Testament and attend church and their church Bible studies to get inspired and share some. I love to speak out when inspired to talk about the will of God through Jesus. Reading the New Testament is vital to me, to hear the early Christians accounts of Christ, their testimonies, advice, stewardships to us all (to guide us, however, we need to be listening to them and figure out what they are telling us) and thus to be inspired to speak the will of God inwhich the Holy Spirit reveals.

    I strongly recommend for you to start reaching optimal health for your body by reading "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. These healthy foods and this nutritional knowledge, that the book speaks about and gives, will help you out of mental depressions & physical problems. Unhealthy foods can affect us in very controlling ways, just like cults, bad theologies or etc. Our American Diet is sad and some call it just that SAD (Standard American Diet). This diet most likely originated here and has been moving into most of the nations of the world, bringing them our diseases and health issues.

    My prayer life is usually trying as best as I can to help others in my postings, speaking out and simple prayers to God for others & my family. To me, prayer is our words to God. If we are speaking according to Christ with gentleness, kindness and compassion towards others, we speak so to God as well. At times, my prayer to God is more involved, but God knows best and I am waiting on him with my simple request if it is ok. I rather trust his judgment and do what he thinks is best. A lot of the time, my prayers are spontaneous and heartfelt. I enjoy praying at these times, when asked to or when the love bubbles over in me. I love to thank God for things, usually protection for others that I love.
  5. "Girl...Yous needz somes fellowship...!"

    I second what Rusty said. Get involved, be a soul-winner. BE WARNED: Satan will be after you. (Or at least one of his minions.)

    Bible College?
    Major and Rusty say Amen and like this.
  6. spk...1 ~~I've read Dr.Fuhrman's many times, however any diet book is only good if one has everything working properly in the first place.

    Lifeasweknowit: Please take my advice BEFORE any change of diet:

  7. Life, as Rusty says you don't have to not be an extrovert. If God made you an extrovert, God made you an extrovert. Just be an extrovert for the Lord.

    We will be battling with the flesh until Jesus comes. So some good habits do help. Fasting is good. But it sounds to me like you planned an ultimate fast to get right next to God (which is good, God sees the good intention!). However, getting saved gets us right next to God. Fast 'casually' you don't have to impress God. How do you get close to your earthly father? You don't run a race to give him a gold medal so that he can be proud of you. Getting close and him being proud are very different. Just sit down in the evenings with your bible and talk casually to God like He is right their next to you. It is important that we learn to hear His voice.
    Rusty likes this.
  8. @ Calvin. I would love to find a non denomination non mega church where I live but it is nearly impossible. All the smaller churches creep me out a little bit :cautious: or are of denominations I'm not exactly aware of (Lutherin, Methodist, Presbyterian, etc.) On the other hand, the women I've met at these mega churches never seem to follow through with plans. For example, they will say every so often "let's get together!" but then I never hear from them or when I bring it up, they may ignore it or seem disingenuous. Something just doesn't "seem right". Does that make sense?

    I am beginning to learn more and more about how it's better be be with a smaller church and find "real fellowship" vs. "artificial fellowship". Please, if anyone, exaplain the difference and how I can determine which is which.

    @King. Other methods, such as you mentioned have not worked for me in the past. I still held onto the bars, lusting after men, holding onto worldy things. This current walk with God is what He and I know is needed. I can't have anything distract me. Funny you mention not having to "impress" God. I personally think that none of what I'm doing would impress Him or anyone. To me, I am doing the bare minimum and in fact, disappointed that I couldn't even do a Daniels Fast. You make a good point that perhaps I'm trying to do a bit much. I guess I just didn't see it that way. Nothing is too much in Gods eyes IMO. I suppose I could use a little moderation, slow down, and hear his voice as you say.

    @Rusty. I think you of almost everyone hit it on the head and I truly appreciate you breaking down both the physical and spiritual. As I mentioned to Calvin, I am weary of involving myself with fellow female Christians. They have not been consistent or genuine in the past and I have a very difficult time trusting them. I also agree, I shouldn't turn into a nun but to a lot of people I have (figuratively). I'm starting to feel disgust with a lot of worldly things, but again, I think that comes with the territory. Also, thyroid and anemia issues run in my family and previous blood test with me have come back sometimes normal, sometimes abnormal, but never enough for the doctors to have concern. I will go back again and get checked.

    @Dirty. You, and everyone else is right, but it's so hard for me to trust Christians after being literally blown off by a few of them. Something I was NOT expecting once I began going to church again. My worldly friends hardly ever do/did this so it was quite an unpleasant surprise. Now I am timid to get in any sort of relationship with a female or male Christian. Also, Satan has totally been after me, which is why I say I feel I'm having a spiritual battle. I would go into detail with what Satan has been doing but I don't want him to tempt me anymore and I believe he doesn't know our thoughts but hears our voices and can read this so I wont post. I'm sure you understand.

    @spk..1. Welcome, and thank you for your wonderful posts so far! I will certainly look into that book and the link you provided me. I see that everyone is mentioning the fellowship, but as you'll see what I wrote to others bellow, I am weary. You and I both share similar prayers from what it sounds like. Mine are very spontaneous. In fact, I don't always look at them as prayer, but more time being spent communicating with him. Sometimes, I just have a heart to heart or talk to him like I would talk to any given person (within reason of course). He is my father and I try to treat him as such.
  9. Ah...! Glad I brought it up.

    There are quick tests and thorough ones<- insist on that one. If you can get a female doctor, do so and maybe one that has not seen you "grow up". Keep in mind: a ladies body makes a big change in the mid-twenties.

    Keep me updated on a PM if ya want, as I've had heaps of situations with thyroid/anemia in my family/friend female circle...
  10. Yeah, people suck, that's why we have to LEARN how to love them. Thank the Lord we have HOLY guidance in the Bible. When I get good at it I will let you know....


    If you can make 2-3 GENUINE friends in your life...you will be doing better than most!
    Major and KingJ say Amen and like this.
  11. @spk..1. Welcome, and thank you for your wonderful posts so far! I will certainly look into that book and the link you provided me. I see that everyone is mentioning the fellowship, but as you'll see what I wrote to others bellow, I am weary. You and I both share similar prayers from what it sounds like. Mine are very spontaneous. In fact, I don't always look at them as prayer, but more time being spent communicating with him. Sometimes, I just have a heart to heart or talk to him like I would talk to any given person (within reason of course). He is my father and I try to treat him as such

    Thank you also. I am a little bit of a health nut. Being 60 and climbing with my much younger wife & little sons, I am trying to push the envelope of my lifespan. I came across many interesting things in the doctor's books about being healthy and curing all kinds of ailments.

    Having fellowship with other Christians seems to be where I get inspirations from God. I guess you could call my comments my two cents worth in discussions. I listen to the people talking about the Gospel, Bible or other important topic, then something begins to stir inside of me to be spoken. I try to wait until the words and thoughts are clear and it is at the proper time. Then, I speak with a loud voice for everyone to hear. This is where discussions improve and people become excited. I fade back into the background, unless another inspiration comes later. I love to see people interested in the will of God through Jesus Christ. I seem to understand God's will, Jesus, as well as his disciples. I try to avoid confrontations or debates. It is important to build and not cause strife. However, we should defend ourselves for what we have firmly researched and settled in our minds. I am never one to just accept the logical (so-called), norm or don't rock the boat ideas or whatever without honestly checking these things out myself.

    My ex. wife who left me as she has all of her husbands wanted me to join Amway when we were together, "just do it" she insisted. She was interested in the success stories that they present. I am on the cautious side of life and had to check it out completely. I was shocked as to what I found out from many ex. members of the thing. I watched Amway's video and listen to their tapes. It was understandable how people could be swayed to join without having checked it all out. I turned them down. This is the type of person that I am. I honestly look at things in depth before committing myself to the road. I don't think that I did this with Jesus. I can't remember ever doubting him or God my entire life. Instead it was me running away and living my life; which led to a total disaster. Though, that is in the past and God has greatly healed me and filled me with his kindness and blessings, I hate the self that did his own thing and brought shame. I understand that self, but wish that all of that never happened in my life. I guess we have our stains to remind us until we are given, in the end, our white robes and no-memory of those shameful things in our lives.

    I find the purity of faith trusting in God through Jesus Christ without the traditions or other things of man to be complete and filling. Have a wonderful day with your Father in Heaven and our Savoir Jesus Christ.
  12. calvin and DRS give some good advice.

    Look around for a church. Mega church is not uselly the answer.

    You need to find a church that has some people your age, make some friends and get out and do stuff with them.
    Go bowling, play golf, go fishing. ..........FELLOWSHIP!

    Find a hobby! I put model battleships from WW2 together. I also do gardening. Find something to entertain your thoughts.

    I also do "Honey Lists" and anytime you want to borrow my wife, she will be glad to make you a "Honey Do List".
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  13. I spent YEEEEEAAAAARRRRSSS looking for a Church I felt comfortable in. Mainly because most "churches" (like the one I grew up in) don't preach doctrine....oh like SALVATION/ Gospel, Sin, Hell, Obedience, etc...

    Here's the thing: #1 I also had to examine my old nasty self and ACCEPT that some of my behavior was sin according to God's Word-not my opinion. #2 You will NEVER ALWAYS AGREE and GET ALONG with EVERYONE at Church. That's the Hollywood fairytale just like the fictitious 'perfect marriage'. ALL relationships take WORK: which means you will have to eat some humble pie once in a while and or just forgive and or shut-up.

    I don't AGREE with everything my Pastor says-but we are good friends-and the main priority is teaching & preaching the Gospel. Not grumbling about every indifference we have with the people in the pews.
    Major likes this.
  14. Simple, God asks us to learn to live in the world. You dont have to devorce yourself from it to love Jesus more.
  15. I rejoice in reading your words Lifeasweknowit... You are battling your flesh. This is proof that the Spirit is cleaning house so to speak, and showing you the things of the world/flesh, and showing you spitiual things too. You are truly saved and being washed clean. Then comes understanding with reading the word. Your journey has begun and you are seeing the results.

    Your eyes have been opened/the veil lifted, and you are seeing the truth of things around you. I too have felt EXACTLY what you are describing. I still battle my flesh. Falling short, but when I do I fall short I keep my eyes on Him to give me strength. I confess my weaknesses. We have to go through this. It is a withdrawl of the flesh. It is a cleansing of the soul.

    I was very deep in the Word. When I fell away from my church because I questioned them what I was reading was going against the grain of they were teaching in the scriptures. I turned away. It was much like what you have seen in my post on Revelation. My flesh got the best of me and I fell away and was quite. People can be really mean and bitter that go to church. I know they are defending their doctrine of the church. So I resumed my old life with going to bars, listening to music I loved, and my weakness of the flesh when it comes to nude pictures of women, and porn. There were many LOW times in my life, not knowing how I would get out of it.

    So I prayed and asked for answers, and said "if it is His will" I pray for it to be done. He is the potter and I am the clay being molded by His hands. We need to go through these things. My faith has been tested and I am back, and battling my flesh again, which is harder this time. I believe He will deliver you, as He is delivering me. I don't want everyone to believe every word I say as fact, but test me according to scripture. Test the fruits of my spirit.

    Following the Lord is not easy, for our flesh fights against us. Inside my soul cries out to Him and I die daily asking for forgiveness of anything I have done wrong that day. Bearing my cross and confessing with my mouth in my car, or anywhere I am alone, praying for guideance.

    So don't be discouraged. Fight the good fight. Love yourself and accept you are who you are, not by how people want you to be. I believe in you and I see your heart is true and sincere. Your love and commitment is genuine for the Lord. I see you are being pruned so you can bare fruit in the not so distant future.

    May the Lord bless you always...
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  16. Tink,
    Since I went on disability, I have become more and more isolated. While this is "bad" in so many ways, it did force me to examine my life honestly and it brought me into a relationship with Christ I hadn't had since my teenage years. I call myself a new Christian because the one I led before was some sort of hybrid psuedo-christianity that I can't even believe I thought myself a christian.
    I know going out to socialize is very addictive and I gathered my sense of balance and self-worth from those night time activities. My lack of self esteem drove me to seek the company and approval in all in wrong places and all the wrong people. I was on self destruct.
    It sometimes still gets to me when I am depressed that I have no social life and that I must find my comfort in just my wife and youngest son. But, you no know what? They are really all I need, as I find people disingenuos and they always seem to have an angle. I still talk decently with whom ever I come across...I just don't seek any relationship beyond acquaintence.
    What I feel the Lord may be doing with me is refining me to forge a new heart through this trial and tribulation. To become more dependent upon him than any human. Maybe this is preparation for something else. Maybe not. I really think that before we know Christ, we see the world as our home and see the Kingdom as some distant pie-in-the-sky fairy tale land. But, as we grow in Christ we began to see the world for all it's corruption and we simply must began the process of letting it go and see it not as our home but see it as like we are just passing through as strangers in a strange place and the Kingdom as being our real home and this life as merely a journey to that end.
    Because we are material beings this process can be tough at times. We have Satan telling us we are giving up everything for nothing and Christ bringing us to the realization that as we run and cling to the Rock(Christ), we actually gave up nothing and are gaining everything that matters.
    We are all facing the tug of war to some degree, that between the alluring facade the world presents(candy coated poison) and the true substance as to why we were created. the journey home to be with our Lord.
    We can expect to face loneliness from time to time. Hardship and tribulation from time to time will be our unwanted companions. But we must know that ultimately we will no longer face any of these beasts as we will be with our Lord in contentment and bliss, fulfilled in such a way the world had not a hope of ever coming close to competing with.
    Hold fast to the rock Tink and never let go. Grow in your relationship with Christ first then fellowship is sure to follow.
    Lifeasweknowit and Rusty say Amen and like this.
  17. Hi Chris,

    I agree, but at this point in my walk, with the spiritual battles I am having, I do need to distance myself completely. Trust me, I have prayed about this. I am not strong enought right now tl resist certain temptations. He and I both know that. I have been going out more and more and am feeling better, but I'm still abstaining from drinking, bars, dating, facebook, etc. I'm reading my bible and spending more time with Him. When I start to think about reactivating my facebook and having that first drink again, He puts this feeling in my heart that tells me very clearly, it's not quite time.

    Everyone is different. My mom thinks I should have "self control and just get over it" when it comes to my eating disorder. Boy is she clueless. I have been so deep into this thing I even forgot what normal life looks like for me (Just like any addict). Not everyone is as strong, has the same will power or can resist temptation. I am fairly new in my faith and certainly see eye to eye with Dan's sentiments. I too in the last few years, have been professing myself as a Christian while going to church almost weekly, attending ministry and bible study. However, I was still walking with the world blindly. I look back, and think how foolish I was to have called myself a Christian. I will probably look back years from now and think the same time.

    Right now, it's not good for me to tempt Him (thanks KingJ) or myself. Dirty had mentioned in the "Hip Hop" music thread and how he would rather his children not listen to certain music at all because of how even the beat can get you thinking of unGodly things.-Correct me if I'm wrong, guys.

    Anyhow, the point I'm trying to make is that I don't think I'm doing too much or going to far or trying to "prove" something. I've prayed and talked to my Father about this and I truly believe He is directing me the right way.

    Also, think about this...wouldn't Satan want and urge me to go out with friends and do more worldly things instead of staying cooped up in the house reading the bible, praying, and chatting with friends on CFS? Whenever I try to discern if something is Gods words or Satan's, I simply ask myself if it goes against the Word. If not, I know for the most part, it most likely isn't coming from Satan.

    PS: this wasn't necessarily geared towards you, but others who may be thinking the same thing. Also, I have been getting out of the house more and doing much better. There is a balance that needs to take place, but He has to be the forefront of what I choose to do in my daily life.
  18. Amen to what most churches don't preach. It seems to be more about what God can do for us as opposed to how we can fit His mold and do His will. It speaks to the self-serving individuals of today.

    Regarding not getting along with everyone. I completely understand that part. I have never expected it, but I also wouldn't have expected for 4 Christian friends in a row to act the way they did with me. Very surprising. As I said, I haven't even dealt with that type of behavior in the real world at my adult age. I can explain more in detail if interested.

    I forgive but I don't forget. I have patience, but to a point. You do something too many times, or there seems to be a culmination of events that prove you are not trustworthy or have respect for me, then you are no longer inside my circle. I will always be there for you, will still treat you with respect, but I will never look at you the same or consider you a close friend.

    There's forgiveness and there's being a railroad track. I choose the former.
  19. @ Major

    The church I go to is geared towards those my age, a few years older and younger. I also have many hobbies, my friend! I love bowling and chess. Ok, maybe I'm a bit of a dork. Heheh. I also am an avid runner, love to snowboard, dance, and write. Problem is the people I did these things with are not Christians and I stopped trusting them for many reasons. So now I am called to fellowship. I joined a wonderful woman's bible study for 16 weeks. It was great, but none of the gals ever came through when getting together. Ok, I admit I put little to no effort, but if someone takes my number and says lets get coffee, I expect to hear from them. Or if I reach out and mention getting together and they say yes, but not follow up, I'm not going to push the issue. You get my point...

    Here's the truth. I have this problem with women, and mainly women. I've made friends pretty easily throughout my life and had a lot of best girlfriends, but somewhere down the line I got hurt. I had a bad relationship with my mother and so I learned that woman are crazy and untrustworthy. Don't laugh. OK maybe a little. Anyhow, that's been my issue. I just can't trust women! Men, on the other hand have been great. I've always had guy friends, even though people tell me they just want to be with me, I don't care if that is the case because I know my guy friends truly care for me and are there if I ever need them. I don't know. I just hope to make more female friends that are Christian and who I can truly trust. The ones I've met so far don't seem to fit that profile.
  20. @ FOC and Dan, thank you so much! It's good to know that others have felt what I am feeling. I think that right now, I am still being pulled into the world because Satan tells me that's what I need to get out of my rut and feel better. Trust me, there are so many times when the bars or going to places to feed my flesh is so tempting. Then I have God, who's trying to tell me all I need is Him and to follow His path a bit longer until I'm ready to dive back in. I don't know. I've almost become comfortable in my little hole. A little scared to get back out there entirely. Don't get me wrong, I get out of the house and do things (that's why I haven't been on here very much), but I'm talking about really getting out there like I once was.
    Anywho, I feel like I've typed way too much, so I'm going to stop, but thanks again everyone!

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