I Don't Think I Should Go On Dorm For College : /

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by autumn oddity, May 24, 2013.

  1. At first it seemed like a dream come true to be on campus w/ my cousin. not just any campus ..it's almost perfect like 99.9% perfect. Everything nice and interesting is close to the school, theaters,mall, restaurants,apartments close to the school. Yesterday I was extremely excited about it when my cousin showed me yesterday but that high went away when I realized ..... I can barely hear God's voice ..and i feel beingso far from home and my church will just worsen things for me. I feel like God and me willl drift further and further apart than we already are. To be honest i kinda feel like..the perfect school and dorm llife is like a set up.... to distract me and then God willl blame me for being distracted and whatnot. I just honestly feel God doesn't like me at all...it's like the closer I try to come to Him the more he pushes me away, so why pursue someone who wants nothing to do with you? ( Please save the"God loves you :D" He loves everyone...and died for everyone...even Judas,,,sooo,,yah I don't want to hear that at all now)

    I just wish I was pass this phase I've been saved 3 years now 3!!! and it's hard for me to feel His presence hear his voice or even sense Him . I also feel like me being on dorm is His way of sweeping me under the rug...so He can focus on my brothers... I honestly feel if I had a great gift than maybe He'd talk to me more, I mean Im sorry im not a pastor , apostle, or miracle worker so you'll(God) lavish me w/ your attention.

    I'm starting to regret being saved........ it's not because of troubles that he takes us through to test our faith...or troubles..that come w/ being a christian, like losing friends (I didn't have much to begin w/ so thatwouldn't matter much).but he never said " even though I won't leave you nor forsake you..you won't feel alone," or"I may hid myself from you..if I don't like you that much" and "depending on the typr of gifting you have it depends on how much of me you'll experience" or "I choose those i want to be close to me..so the rest of you ...just count your lucky stars you're even saved"
    He truly shows mercy to anyone he chooses and that person is not me : /

    Heres a paragraph from an article I really agree with
  2. Why do I feel like God does not love me? Where is God? I have given up everything for God, and where is he? It seems he doesn't care what happens to me anymore. All I do is go to church, go to work, and go home. I have lost everything I had, my car, my own place, my full-time job. I am using my brother's car, I am living with my mother, my step dad, and my two brother's in a two bedroom house. I am living out of boxes and bags. It's been this way for a while now. It seems everything got worse when I decided to give my life to the Lord. I don't mean to complain, I do thank God for having a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, and my part-time job, but as a Christian, God promises me life more abundantly, is this life more abundantly. I have never thought about suicide so much in my life. Material things means nothing to me, but when it seems like God isn't there, or he just doesn't care, life can seem unbearable. It seems he has totally shut me out, and all I do is serve him. I follow his commands, I do what the bible says do, and he still doesn't come to see about me. Can God stop loving you. I can understand if I was still sinning, but I am obeying his commands, and it seems he doesn't even care. I see people still living in sin, prospering everyday, and I'm doing all I can living a life that's pleasing to him, and he doesn't even care, why is this so? Can God stop loving you, or am I the first one

    I agree w/ everything I bolded, the article is titles Where is God. I feel exactly like this person..material stuff means nothing to me,I feel like he's shut me out as well ....when it comes to following Him.. I haven't strayed, gone back to me old life or blatantly sin..it's just I'm not praying as i should or reading much b/c i feel im working for peanuts...whats the point of doing all of this if God ignores me, doesn't care about my life and just doesn't care enough to pay attention to me. ? All my hairs are numbered ,yet you won't talk to me............................ whats the point!? esp if I want to talk to You.

    Sometimes I wonder if He's angry that He had to do what he did (die for the world) and he has some sort of grudge and is showing it by keeping only a few close to him and others far away... idk what im gonna do right now. I knew this was too good to be true. I just wonder why he didn't just leave me alone in my sin... seeing as he doesn't want me near Him. It would have been better for me to just have never been called.
  3. Here are some other things I agree w/ ;

    *Some disciples are specially loved of their Lord. We believe in the doctrine of election, but the principle of election goes to be carried further than some suppose. There is an election in the midst of an election, and another within that. The wider circle contains the inner, and a still more select circlet forms the innermost ring of all... it strikes me that our Lord Jesus loved John in some measure more than the rest... He loved Martha too; but still there was a special place for Mary. Jesus has still His Johns, whom He peculiarly loves. He loves Peter and Nicodemus, and Nathanael, and all of them; but still there are some who know His love more than others, live in it more than others, drink into it more than others, reflect it more than others, and become more conformed to it, and saturated with it, and perfumed with it, than others are. There are first as well as last. All may be of Israel, but all the tribes are not Judah, and in Judah all the men are not Davids..."
    *You seem to contradict yourself here. First you say that Jesus doesn't have favorites, but then you say that we can be as intimate with God as we want to be. So, by your speech, you seem to say there are those who are especially close to God, and those who are not as close. Could you clarify for me a bit?

    I have to agree with Rabbiknife on this one. Galatians is speaking of justification. In fact, Paul was refuting those of high reputation who thought the Gospel was only for the "favored" or those who "seemed to be somewhat..." (Gal 2:6a). However, among the justified, Jesus seemed to have his select few. He only took a few up the mountain of transfiguration (Matt 17)

    The men Jesus 'chose' were given to Him by the Father.. you can go and read about that when He Prayed prior to His betrayal... He 'kept' them all.. except the one, Judas, so that the Scripture may be fulfilled.. Judas the son of Perdition.. betraying the Son of Man with a kiss.. he was lost.

    Everyone that is Truely Saved from Above... that person is Given to Jesus by the Father... Its His Foreknowledge and His Plan that that soul should be saved... God Chooses... He Draws... He Converts... and He Saves.....

    this is where you run into the problem with teaching that teaches that man comes to God on His Own...

    the Scripture says otherwise... God Chooses... and the merits of it belong to Him alone...

    man tries his hardest to change that.. to twist it.. to usurp it... but His Word Stands...

    He has Elect.. and His Favorites...

    this from my personal standpoint.. prior to Jesus Saving Me in 1994... there were numerous times I should of died... after He Saved me.. it was made 'known'to me.. that many times prior to the Day of Salvation in my life.. satan himself had petitioned God for my soul, wanting to destroy me... he had really every right to take my soul .. destroying me before 1994... but Jesus told Him 'NO'... Leave him alone.. for He belongs to Me... this even before I 'knew' Him.. there was a suicide attempt, car accidents, a near drowning accident as a small child.. Jesus Truly Holds the keys to death and hell.. He controls it..

    I ask you...Why did God show favour to me.. even prior to Him Saving me? keeping the devourer at a distance.. and stopping him even after he was told not to mess with me???

    what had I done to deserve that? I will tell you.. NOTHING...

    Why did Jesus show favortism... towards me? Its because He chooses.. and He 'knows'... it's according to His Eternal Plan.. which has been in place even before the foundation of the world...

    I have seen young people die tragically in car accidents.. these dieing without Christ.. lost for eternity.. I have seen people drown in drowning accidents.. these lost.. without Christ.. and lost for Eternity... I have had relatives who have committed suicide.. these without Christ.. lost for eternity....

    Why did He choose to show favoritism to me? I don't have a rational answer for that.. but all I can tell you is that what happened to me.. and why He Saved me is according to His plan and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt.. that His Word is True. and it does not change...

    Idk, i feel really angry at God, many people love Him...even unto death..He has pll in other countries enduring harsh treatment b/c of their loyalty to Him... A lot of people love jesus..but if I were to die today..only five people would show up to my funeral.....five out of millions. I have no one..the lest he could do is talk to me : / I thought i had Him..but He's busy with everyone else.
  4. I'm sorry that you are going through this difficult time. I don't have the wit, empathy, or time to respond to all of this but I will make a couple of points.
    You are correct, college, especially if staying in a dorm, is a very good opportunity to go astray. Many of the poeple you will spend your time with are the worst sorts of heathens. When I was in college the first time around during the late 70's, on just the 3rd floor (where my room was) I had a coke dealer acroos the hall, a pot and hash dealer 4 doors down, and at least two "women" who stayed there with other fellows and changed boyfriends as often as I changed pants.
    Most were very irreligious, a few were plain anti-religious. The school chapel (non-denominational Christian) was populated with Hare Krishnas that had their offices in the basement.

    God puts you through ahrd times because there are lessons to be learned that can only be learned by hard times.
    To quote Gandalf "the burnt hand teaches best, then advice about fire goes to the heart"

    God loves you, but He will not intervene with your whining and bellyaching until you have worked through it and have realized that it is what it is. He will not just fix things. Just fixing things does not improve anyone.
    How would you learn to be tough if you never felt pain?
    Jake likes this.
  5. It also sounds Pancakes as if you are kind of ''ok I'll do this, but only because I want God to do that, Ive been doing this, but God still isnt doing this, so why should I continue to do these things - Pray, read, listen to his word etc?"
    You worship God, and obey him because you love him. I'm not saying you can't pray for things, but its almost like you are holding the things you do against him.
    I'm sorry you are going through what you are going through, and I hope God comes through to answer your prayers, I pray that you are not serious about committing suicide ( or even think if it any more! )
    Some say despair was Judas sin, not betrayal.
    I pray that you will get out of this dark place, and that God will speak to you.

    P.S. it is going to sound weird praying for ''pancakes'' :LOL:
    P.S.S. it sounds like you should NOT live in the dorm, if at all possible, if not, just keep your faith, and don't fall into the sinners way of life.
    Jake likes this.
  6. God is everywhere. If your not hearing God, its because your not listening. Not saying that to be mean-Im saying that because we (as in everyone) have unrealistic expectations of who God is and what He needs to do-and think that if Gods not answering our prayers, that Hes gone somewere. The answer is, God never goes anywhere-if your not hearing God its because your not spending enough time with Him, and/or have unrealistic expectations of the time you do spend.
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.
  7. Patriot, does God speak to you? do you ''hear'' him like I see some pastors saying?

  8. Idk, thatst's kinda the reason I don't spend much time w/ Him b/c I don't...He doesn't say much to me. It seems one sided..and if I talk to Him I would like be able to hear His voice. The only time I heard Him crystal clear was when I was fasting and went past 21 days...and i don't want to rely on fasting b/c I'll have more faith in it than my ability to actually hear Him.
    Jake likes this.
  9. OH wow, you fasted for 21 days and you heard him? id fast for 21 days for that.
    what did he say, and what did it sound like?

    and out of curiosity, was it just a water fast? or did you allow your self other things?
  10. Dont ask me to bring up any scripture on this.
    Faith grows by prayer, and prayer grows by fasting.
    They were not able to cast out the demon, and when they asked Jesus why not, he said they did not have enough faith, which comes about through prayer, and fasting.

    I'm not saying you should go on a 21 day fast again, just try fasting for 2 or so days, and pray a lot!
    but don't do it begrudgingly. I am enjoying prayer, more and more, and it is no longer a chore really, it is really just a matter of finding a time to do it, and finding the words I need to truly express myself to God.
    I want to try fasting for 3 days some time next week, and will try this a few times a month, hopefuly this is good enough to increase my faith/prayer.

    What I meant in previous post was, did you just drink water, or did you have other liquids? and when you were doing this when you heard God, were you praying a lot?
  11. I hear ya about the phrase, "God loves you." I won't say that to you. Because I know that deep down, you believe it. I know you may not feel it now, but obviously there is something in you that's saying, "Please don't tell me that God loves me, because I know that He does and I don't need to hear it."

    When you get those feelings...when you think that God pushes you away or that He doesn't love....look to the Bible. The Bible is the Truth, correct? So, look up scriptures to back up your thoughts. "If God doesn't love me....where does it say in the Bible that says He doesn't love me?" or "He pushes me away, I feel that He pushes me away." Look up scriptures to back that up. If you don't find any that suggests those things, then it's not true! If your thoughts don't match up to the Word, then it is not true. For example) "God doesn't love me." What does the Bible say? Does the Bible match up with what you're feeling? Does that make sense? For example, God doesn't push you away. Honey, I know how you feel though. I've been there. I have cried out to God many times, "God, I'm putting ALL this time into You, but I don't feel you. I feel like You are keeping me at arms length!" I have felt despair and I have felt that my relationship with the Lord is ALL work and nothing is benefiting me. And you know why? Because I was making my relationship with God all about RELIGION.

    God is all for you. He is not against you.

    Being a Christian isn't always easy, huh? It's tough. Yes, it's SO great in the beginning. You're getting to know God, you're slowly falling in love with Him. And everything is PERFECT. And then, KABAM. Reality hits. You realize that life isn't always easy, and then you start drifting away from God. Through the easy time, it's GREAT being with God. But when life hits you in the face, you get mad at God.

    Let me give you an example. My first couple of years in my relationship with God was WONDERFUL. I fell in love with my Savior, I got to know Him, life was wonderful. And then I go to Bible school. And slowly, I feel a difference in my relationship with God. I started slacking in my devotionals because I wasn't getting anything out of it, I stopped talking with God because I felt like He didn't want anything to do with me and didn't love me, I started going down hill.

    And then God spoke to me. "You are no longer a baby Christian."

    "What do You mean I'm not 'longer' a baby Christian?!" I asked.

    "Katie, when you were a baby Christian, you needed milk, you couldn't handle the solid food (1 Cor 3:2). So things were wonderful, right? I was babying you. I was feeding you milk, instead of solid food because you couldn't handle it. Just like an infant, a mother feeds it and gives you band-aids when you fell down or got a shot. But, you have grown up. You're no longer a baby Christian, Katie, but a full adult in your relationship with me. Yes, I'm still here for you, I'm still healing you, I'm still your God, I still love you. But I'm no longer going to baby you. I'm going to let you experience more difficult things. You are going to see life differently and I'm not longer going to give you milk, but solid food. It's going to be tough and there are going to be in doubt. But I love you and I am still your God. Don't feel sad over this, but feel honored that I consider you an adult and I believe that you can do more things on your own. Don't stop involving me. I am intimately connected with you and I want to do so many things for you and I'm still your Father. Just our relationship will be different now, it'll be more mature."

    You said in a later post you haven't made time for Him because you think He won't talk to you. You are exactly where Satan wants you to be: To give up. I'm sorry to be so blunt :( But I was in the same situation this past year, where I wasn't making time for Him because I wasn't hearing Him as much as I once was. I'm just hoping to give you some encouragement, because no one really did it for me through that time! Until one day, He said, "You need to fight for me. You need to fight through your emotions. You need to make a choice for Me." It's gotten better, but it isn't perfect. It was a good year of me slacking, because I knew I wouldn't get anything from Him. And I was where Satan wanted me to be. He wanted me to give up on my relationship with God.

    So I started hanging out with Him when I didn't want to. And man, did I make it clear to Him! I said, "I'm hanging out with You, but I don't want to." And what did He say to that? "Now, THATS the Katie I want! I want you to be REAL with me!"

    I don't know what to say about the college thing. Yes, it would make it more difficult to hang out with God....But it's NOT impossible. It still can be done to hang out with Him, but it will be difficult.

    Pancakes, this will pass. But I encourage you to FIGHT for Him, FIGHT through those emotions. Don't let your emotions make your decisions, don't let your emotions run your life! Because all emotions are temporary.
    Jake and autumn oddity say Amen and like this.
  12. I still struggle. I'm not going to lie and saying that I don't. I'm still training myself to fight for Him, to go to Him through everything. But, I know one thing, through my dry season He is still a good God. Even though I'm not feeling much, I know that I cannot base my relationship with God on my feelings. I need to have faith.

    Pancakes, I know you can get through this. I am SO proud of you. Seriously. You are STILL fighting for Him. Just continue. Keep going to Him. Just don't give up. Ever heard of Misty Edwards? She's a Christian singer and is very prophetic in her songs. I absolutely love her! There is one song that I love...."I Knew What I Was Getting Into." And in part of her song, she says, "Don't give up, and don't give in. Because if you don't give up, you win." WOW! So win this battle by persevering. Why do you think Paul says, "Keep fighting the good fight of faith?" Because Paul KNEW that a Christian walk will have hardships. And through those hardships, he's telling us to KEEP fighting the good fight! Continue it!

    Even though I'm struggling, I know that THIS will pass. It's a SEASON, and I will continue to fight for my Savior. Last night, I hung out with Him. And for the first time in weeks, I felt so amazing afterwards. Because I didn't make it about religion, but about a relationship. And I want to give you this scripture. And from what I got out of this was this: God is a God of second chances. After all that GOd did for the Israelite's (saving them from Pharaoh), they repaid Him with such hostility and sin. But yet every time they messed up, God loved them and received them back. Nehemiah 9:27-32.

  13. Define speak. Does God speak to me in this loud voice, that I can hear like I would if talking to my wife? parents? no. God doesn't speak to people like that anymore, not often. God whispers. God often talks through events in our life, revelations while reading scripture, etc.

    The Bible tells us how to communicate with God best-Be still, and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10.

    My point is, maybe your trying to hard. Maybe its time to stop trying-and Be still.
    Rusty likes this.
  14. Thank you katie..you really get it. You actually know how I feel, I feel lonely and i feel it'll get worse when I go on dorm : / but it's where God wants me to be (my pastor told me) I..idk...I just thank you for being able to know how i feel. I thank you for that.
  15. I said, "I'm hanging out with You, but I don't want to." And what did He say to that? "Now, THATS the Katie I want! I want you to be REAL with me!"

    Yah.. Im not fake either..and that probably bothers some people here but im not gonna pretend everything is all smiles...I think I told God I think He's mean .... and to be honest I don't think i like Him much(and i think I told Him that too)..but he says nothing*shrugs*

    Im just not sure if he likes me at all
  16. But He DOES care! He KNOWS you, Pancakes! He CREATED you! You are NOT a mistake. I wish I could just give you a HUUUUUGE hug and say that this is the Lord's hug to you! His heart breaks because your heart is breaking. The Word tells us that He gathers all your tears in a bottle. Who does that? Someone who truly loves you and cares about your tears. When you are all alone, He's the one who sees your heart, who sees your tears. When you think no one cares about you crying or going through a hard time, there is One who does.

    No, you are not fake. At all.

    Keep talking to Him, Pancakes. Remember what I said a while ago? Your relationship with Him is not based off of emotions, but of faith? Keep pushing through the emotions. Be honest with Him about your emotions? Don't want to talk to God? Then TELL Him! You don't think He's great and He might be mean? Then TELL him! He just wants to communicate with you. I know that you don't hear Him right now. And that's a very frustrating spot. But, you WILL. Just keep talking until you HEAR Him! And then when you DO hear him, KEEP talking to Him. Sometimes, there are weeks that go by that I don't hear him. And I have to ask myself, "What am I allowing in my life that is blocking out the voice of the Lord?"

    I'm glad you don't get offended when I offer my opinion. :)

    You are great, Pancakes. You truly are. I'm so PROUD that you keep pressing forward, even though you feel like poo. You are a STRONG woman. And that strength doesn't come from yourself, but from God. You may see yourself as weak, but you are someone who sticks to it, who keeps persevering. Yes, you're struggling...but you're not giving up.

    And I know you don't want me to say that He loves you. So maybe check out, "I Know What I Was Getting Into" by Misty Edwards. I listen to it whenever I'm in your spot.

    His death is the perfect definition of what true love is.

  17. Dear one, little sister, may I encourage you, please listen to this old man, what xspinning is saying is true, and what I have to add is, ...I have lived without a church or any Christian friends for 22 years, just me and the Lord, He sent me here without a penny in my pocket or any legal right to stay here and as I was walking out the door 22 years ago He gave me this verse "the just live by faith," and then He put me in circumstances where I would have to live by faith, many, many times I wondered where He was, but then there would be that "verse" floating thru my mind and as I "stepped out" in faith for whatever the situation might be I found He was already there waiting for me.

    I have learned that God is always there and ready to listen to me, all I have to do is just open my bible and read, a long time ago He showed me I'm not to walk by my feelings, but rather by faith, cuz He promised He would never leave me or forsake me, .....and He hasn't and I can truly say my cup runneth over.

    xspinningisfun and Rusty say Amen and like this.
  18. Amen, Gene...I'm in SE Asia on the same ticket God sent you...FAITH. He's never let me down!

    Pancakes....Just put your hand in His, and don't worry so much....IF He can juggle the universe, He certainly can help you...
    xspinningisfun likes this.
  19. I'm not going to read through everything and my apologies Cakes, I couldn't finish your whole OP without being sidetracked by the original topic of living on campus.....

    Let me first start by saying this, I lived on campus and it was the best experience of my life. I did NOT party, I did NOT do drugs. Instead, I studied my butt off, took two hour runs around the campus, and rode my bike to class (our campus is huge). I enjoyed walking over to our library at 1 in the morning during finals week to study, because I could. I lived in the dormitory with a Chinese, Vietnamese, and Korean girl. I'm white, mother was from Austria. The culture clash was difficult at first, but an amazing learning experience. At the same time, I went to a top tier university, known for it's academics across the world (no joke and no idea how I even got in there). Some students partied, but I never saw it the year I lived on campus. Probably because I stayed away from it and focused more on academics, which most students do. Essentially, there will be some schools that have a party reputation in which you should be a tad bit more concerned about, but just as Christians survive and separate themselves in this world of unbelievers, we can do the same in college.

    Here is my opinion; living on campus will force you to become more independent and hence, learn about yourself. It's also a great way to minister to others. Hello! You can become involved in Christian groups across campus (there will be many). Patriot is right, and I hate to say and agree because it may come across as crude, but hearing Gods voice, in my humble opinion, has nothing to do with where you are at. Now, there are times when I hear Gods voice louder, and it's His way of saying "Get out of here...now. This is NOT the place (person, job, etc.) for you." So, I listen and dart, but I never don't hear His voice unless I'm ignoring it, and if that's the case it's because I'm distracted, which isn't my Fathers fault, but my own.
    Rumely and Rusty say Amen and like this.
  20. Good way to meet heathens, and convert them.
    Lifeasweknowit likes this.

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