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I Don't Know If I'll Ever Trust Another Man Again...

Discussion in 'College and Youth' started by Littleone, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. I Don't Know If I'll Ever Trust Another Man Again...

    Ever since my Dad cheated on my mother and has threatened to leave the family for no good reason, I don't know if I can trust men anymore. This is serious. I just am upset about the whole thing. My dad was the last man on earth I would ever expect to behave this way and my mother was a good wife and excellent mother and he will be the first to admit that...yet he still wants to leave because "he's never felt fufilled..." I just would like to ask, how is someone supposed to fufill or complete you?? No one can complete you. That is between you and God and my dad is supposedly... a God fearing man. Yet he says "he knows what God wants, God wants him to stay with his wife, but he doesn't know if he wants to listen to God." This is so unlike him and very disheartening. I just dont' know if I can trust men anymore, if it can happen to someone like my father who had been such a good provider all his life, and to just do something so hurtful stuns me. I feel like I can't trust any men now and I'm scared to get in a relationship ever with any, seriously. I may leave the country and adopt or something when the time comes. I just can't take this kind of stress. I keep people at a distance from me because I'm afraid things like this will happen. He has known my mother since they were 9, they never dated anyone else their whole life and now all of a sudden he is claiming he's never really felt "fufilled!" What kind of nonsense...!!! I'm so angry at him!!! Then I was thinking most of the time men cause these problems...why do men have to cheat??? So my question is...if God designed marriage for man and woman, why do so many men cheat though????? I don't get it, since the dawn of time men have done this, so then why did God give emotions that make it hurt so badly when it's always happened?? I jus dont' understand it
  2. then this crazy man that is my father is inconsistent. He claims he is leaving, yet still comes by to visit but won't stay the night...He is just weird about the whole thing and its making me insane. stressing me out...i really don't like this whole thing and I'm trying hard not to dislike him to be honest... but I just can't look at him the same...sometimes i think its my fault I think I brought this downfall on the family because I was on the verge of doing something sinful myself earlier in the year with this guy, but I never did and I stopped and I repented...it is my fault? Is my sin coming back to haunt me???
  3. please see this thread to know the incident that I am speaking about
    I would just like to know do you think this is God's way of punishing me for my sinful thoughts/desires??? That is my fear that I did something to bring this on and I'm sorry. I was depressed and lonely and I just wanted some companionship and that is probably how my Dad feels...but he is married I don't understand why he just wouldn't turn to God and his family if he was depressed...
  4. Jesus said I have come not to Judge the World.......... You have a distorted view of God. He is the fixer, not the damner. You say your father Was A God fearing man, but I can see Your view of God is Messed up. This tells me, that You were not raised under the correctness of Scripture, and I would not put in Stock into your Father Loving or fearing God. There is No way He Could have, or He would have repented, and fix the situation with your Mother. That means He was really God's and God's Seed Remains in Him.

    Littleone, the most important thing is that you stay connected to these forums. I have seen Healing Miracles here. God is Going to restore everything that is Hurt and Broken in your life. You must follow the Advice Given because it will set you free of Torment, and get you on track to serving the God that the Bible mentions. If you really want help, you will stay, read, and do.............. There are some awesome women of God on this forum that are better equipped to help someone young as yourself, and with all that emotion your going though.

    Satan, get your hands off this child, She is come to the Lord for help, and she is going to get it. Get your hands off Gods property in the name of Jesus. I confess the Word of God is true in the life of this young person, The eyes of her understand being enlightened, that she my have full hope and confidence in the calling of God, that she begins to know the love of Christ which passes all understand, and the god of this World blind her no more to the hope of the glorious Gospel. Peace I command, and Peace will stay, for the Lord said that my peace I give unto you. I thank you Father in Heaven for the performance of your Word, that can not be broken. IN Jesus Name. Amen.

    You may not have fully understood what I prayed, but help has already started. Be of good cheer.

  5. Littleone,
    First off, it is NOT your fault. That is Satan giving you those lies. You've repented, right? That sin is old - it did NOT cause your parents marriage problems. It did NOT. That sin you did is old news. It's gone, it's over with. Your sin did NOT cause this.

    Honey, you have been through SO much and my heart breaks. But God's heart breaks even more. And he is the HEALER, the ultimate HEALER.
    Just, don't blame God. God gave us a free will as a GIFT. And people take that GIFT and use it for evil. I'm not saying, hate your earthly Dad. But I do know how it is to hate someone. I hated my dad for YEARS. And it has taken a LONG time to forgive him. I'm still in the process.

    Rebuke Satan. Satan has NO control of your life. Because you have JESUS. And Jesus, he is more bigger than stupid old Satan. Satan, GET BEHIND THIS CHILD. You have NO authority over her.

    I understand your mistrust of men, I really do. I went through a time like that. Not because of the same circumstances, though. So I may understand a bit of what you are going through, but not a lot. Only God knows your tears and where they come from, He knows so well about your broken heart. He knows. Don't hide it from him. Keep talking to him....

    He loves you so much <3
    Aby Johns likes this.
  6. Men are very complicated animals, yes I did say animals.
  7. wow.. Animals. Please don't call us that. It's like saying all women are Gold-diggers. By far that is stero-typing and it is not true. I have seen many man with a very good heart. I myself am one of them. I love Jesus and want to stay hole in body, spirit and mind.

    I know how she feels do... I myself at a very young age had relationship with a woman, and It end up hurting me both physically and mentally.
    That is why I learned to stay away from woman because of this reason. Its just that I fear, and do not want to waste energy's with the wrong woman, ever again.
  8. I think far too much focus is on put on relationships these days and it is almost as if people think there is something wrong if you are not married or in a relationship . Isn't it better to be single and trusting God and putting your heart into loving Him knowing that He knows what's best for your life .... not you .

    It is not a crime to be single . At least you would not be in a relationship that is abusive and the wrong relationship . Put your thoughts into furthering your life with Christ and what He wants for you . He will give you the desires of your heart.

    Believe me , I speak from experience . An abusive marriage is not what God wants for your life.
  9. Life is all about relationships. We each have two. Me and God, and me and everyone else.
    Love God:​
    Christianity is a vertical relationship first. It's between us and God the Father, through Jesus, by the Holy Spirit.
    Love Others:​
    And a horizontal relationship second. We respond to Christ by responding in love to others.
    (Matthew 22:36-40; Greatest and second greatest commandment. Love God, Love Others.)

    I recently got engaged to a lovely young woman with a past. When I first learned about her past, I was devastated because the ideals that I inherited from my father were that I should marry a pure virgin girl. I took this very hard. But, I am able to continue and get through this valley of the shadow of death because Jesus is leading me THROUGH it.

    When David killed Uriah and married Bathsheba, he repented and said that he had sinned against God. (2 Samuel 12:13)
    My fiancee sinned. But not against me (if I thought she did, I would be exchanging positions with God. Which is VERY bad.) She sinned against God and God alone.
    Not only that, I have sinned against God, and God alone.
    Your father has sinned against God alone.
    We all have. (Romans 3:23.)

    My point here is that we are responsible ONLY for our relationship with Christ, and our conduct in those given to us by Him.
    We respond to Christ first. Look upward and offer Him your feelings, and your fears, and everything else you have on your heart. Plan on suffering a lot for this thing. But also plan on the rewards of getting THROUGH this time of suffering.

    If your father has done this thing, it is a very grevious thing indeed... And I suffer your pain with you and your mother, along with Jesus.
    But the true christian must accept this suffering and remember that Jesus did not come to take away our suffering, He came to get us through it, lending a purpose to it. (James 1:2-4)

    Rejoice that we have a purpose in Christ. Some don't believe.
    I highly recommend reading through the Psalms for new perspectives on finding joy amidst suffering.

    P.S. Prayers are like heat-seeking missiles. They ALWAYS reach their targets. :) Pray for your father's conviction and repentence. And for your mothers comfort. And for your own comfort and safekeeping in Jesus.
  10. Why is it that the truth causes such issue?
  11. Why is it that the truth causes such issue?
  12. But is it the truth? If the comment was suggesting that men are more "animals" than women, it is not the truth. If the comment merely suggested that humans are a kind of animal, the truth of that depends on definitions and categorizations. In the latter case, thinking of men (and women) as animals may be helpful in understanding some of their thinking and behavior, which may or may not be helpful in relating to them.

    Truth is, all men and all women have basic "animal" drives and urges. Some men and some women fail to discipline and channel those "instincts" by their intellect, higher values, and submission to the Spirit of God and submersion in the Blood of Jesus.
  13. We put too many if's into questions such as this. The bad thing is, is that the human mind is never satisfied with taking things as said.

    There is a simple solution > say what is meant and mean what is said! Another is to not change the meaning of a word to change the context of what is being said.
  14. If we as Christians would have the same relationship with others as we do with God, things would be much better.
    Iltheonel likes this.
  15. Unless you have a horrible relationship with God. Which is possible. Not because of him but because of us.
  16. People will let you down no matter how good they try to be. Its because people fail Gods perfect standards, but also you are in the same boat as everyone else. Your trust should be in Jesus first.

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