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I Can't Get My Wife To Read The Bible

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Huntingteckel, Apr 1, 2014.

  1. I'm going to apologize in advance for this being kind of drawn out.

    My wife and I got together through a christian music website a long time ago. At that time I was bitter against my parents and God and wanted nothing to do with the Bible or church. I know that it is my fault that I took her away from church and her relationship with God and I will always feel guilt over that.

    Fast forward to four years ago. I came back to my faith and bought a KJV bible. At that time I had just gotten a new job and I was stressed. I tried to read my Bible but failed. I just couldn't get in the habit of reading daily. I was praying a lot at that time though.

    Fast forward to February 2013. I picked up my Bible again after kind of falling away from the faith again. I read the entire Bible in two and a half months. I stopped playing video games and watching television or movies. Every spare moment I had I spent reading my Bible. After I read through I told my wife that we needed to start reading the Bible together, or at least have quiet time daily to read our Bible. We went out and bought her a Bible and she started to read it daily.

    A couple months later I woke up one morning and heard my wife in the bathroom talking. She was on the phone and I could hear that it she was talking to her brother because she had it on speaker phone. Her brother told her to come and sit on the bed with me, and she did. Her brother said that we were together for a reason and other things. He asked me if I had any questions and I said no (which I will always regret) and then he hung up. Later my wife's brother called back and had no idea what he had said or what happened. He just knew that he had a strong urge to call her and then he sort of blacked out. God was speaking to us through my wife's brother.

    My wife admitted to me that a few days prior to that she had decided that reading her Bible was a waste of time and she wasn't going to do it anymore. Well, God wasn't having any of that!

    It's been probably ten months since then and my wife no longer reads her Bible. I try to bring it up and she just gets upset. Last night I said she needed to start reading her Bible again she gave me the "oh my God shut up look(excuse the religious exclamation)." I can't even bring it up without her getting hostile towards me.

    I'm supposed to be the leader of my household and I can't even get my wife to read one chapter of her Bible a day. I have been bringing it up ever since she moved her Bible from her bedside table to the bookshelf and she just won't. I don't know what to do to get her to see that it's important for her to read her bible. We don't currently have a home church. We tried one that streamed Andy Stanley's sermons, but I didn't care for it. We just can't find one we like in the area we live.

    What am I supposed to do? It's not like I'm being mean when I say that she should read her Bible. I'm just concerned since that is the only way that we get fed spiritually.Any advice and prayers are greatly appreciated.

  2. You can't force someone to believe or do something they don't want to do. Concentrate on your own daily walk with the Lord and always keep praying. Do your best to reflect Jesus Christ in your own life and live as an example to others. She may yet come around and turn back to God. It sounds like God has already been working on both of you. I'll pray for you. :)
    Where is the Messiah and Huntingteckel say Amen and like this.
  3. If your the Leader, then you need to start acting like the Leader. When I got out of Prison full of the Word, speaking in tongues, hearing God. My ummm christian wife who always went to church was spiritually dumb as a goose.

    People only follow what they see, and not very long if continually told.

    My wife grew up in dead baptist, Methodist, and one Pentecostal church. No faith, dead.

    So you can imagine when I spoke of the Word, it was like Greek to her. However, scripture tells us what to do and what to believe. A leader believers God, and is unmoved by anything, trusting in the Word.
    A Leader also has power in their life.

    I remember the wife bringing my sick son to visit me in prison. She went on about it, and hope it don't get worse and bla, bla, bla. i said give him to me, He won't leave here sick.

    Then out of prison one of my children got cancer which ended up being called terminal. Nothing they could do, I told her I don't want to hear any worry or crying. We don't sorrow like the rest of the World who does not have God.

    The day they told her my son would not live through the night she called me. (I could not be with them, on parole) I said we don't receive an evil report. Doing so cost Israel everything. Our son will be fine, now don't worry.

    Now, as a leader, we trust the Word. The word says that the wife is sanctified by the believing spouse. (1 Cor 7:14)
    So, no matter what the wife is doing, not wanting to do, it effects nothing spiritually as long as us leaders stay in the Word.

    A leader also has tools that are not carnal (Natural thinking and pulling on people)
    but mighty in pulling down strongholds.

    Paul prayed by the Holy Spirit and that prayer is in there because it works every single time.
    Because the Word never fails, we don't badger the wife to do a blessed thing concerning God. We just keep quit.
    (Eph 1:16-20)

    For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;
    (Col 1:9-11)

    So, you pray that the wife will be filled with God's will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding that she walk worthy of the Lord and that settles it. No more concerns, God starts responding to His Word in faith and works on your behalf.

    next we obey the Scriptures.

    1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

    NEVER MENTION HER reading the Word again, don't say a blessed thing about the bible to her. She will though in time start asking you if you do what the Word says do and pray.

    There, issue fixed. We have to be doers, not just hearers only. Leaders trust in the Word, and know God's will will produce what God sent it to produce.

    be blessed..
    Edwin Omar likes this.
  4. So, what I'm hearing is that I should "start acting like the leader" by doing what I'm already doing. Appreciate the advice.
  5. No, you don't appreciate the advice. That is a lie, and leaders don't lie. If you did what I do, you would not even be posting here. You would not mention the bible to your wife going cross wise with scripture and you would have believed you received the answer with unmoving trust in God.

    If you were following the Word, then posting here is your admission God's Word is not working. Leaders would never consider such folly.

    Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
    (Mar 11:24)

    Leaders settle things on the Word and don't come asking about it again. Leaders also recive the answer without the childish remarks.

    If you actually need help, I am around.
  6. I suppose not everyone can be as wise as you Michael.
  7. Huntingteckel is frustrated. He needs to settle down, stop stressing and drop his colorful peacock feathers. I'd suggest that he find a wise and Godly man who is willing to help him. Go to church, pray and stop nagging, demanding and pleading that his wife do this...do that. A true leader does not demand, nag or plead. He/she is also not sarcastic or demeaning when talking to others. :)
  8. I don't nag, SparkleEyes. I've asked her about it a few times in different ways.
  9. Good to know, H. I wish you peace and harmony in your marriage. Marriage is hard work and it is about being selfless. Both of you being selfless. :rolleyes:
  10. I think you are already on the right track.. I am sure your wife would be observing what coming back to faith has meant in your life.. You have given up your precious video games and everything.. Don't you think she would have noticed all these changes in you? That itself is a testimony to her.. You just have to be a witness and keep proclaiming what she needs to do.. I don't feel you need to do anything different.. Another great thing to hear is the burden you have for your wife.. When you go on your knees and pray for your wife, our Lord WILL certainly hear your prayers.. Though not evident now, your testimony plus prayers will minister to her soul.. Never ever give up!
    Huntingteckel likes this.
  11. #11 Huntingteckel, Apr 21, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2014
    Thanks for that, Ravindran. I really want to be a good Christian man with a good Christian home. I don't remember ever seeing my parents pick up their bibles outside of church or even talk about Christianity outside of church. We did give to the homeless but that isn't the same thing.
    I want my future kids to want to read their bible because they see me reading mine. I want them to ask questions and me be knowledgeable enough to answer. That's all I want in my life. Just a good Christian home and enough money to get by.


    I forgot to update everyone. Last week I was talking to my wife about the Bible. I wasn't pestering her about reading it or anything but we were discussing a particular passage or story. Somehow this led into her saying that if she was going to start reading her Bible and praying again that we would have to make changes in the household. She said that she said no to a movie then we weren't going to watch it. Also, she said there would have to be a change in music. I'm assuming this means her music since I listen to Christian music about 95% of the time.

    I feel like this is a good thing. We haven't discussed it anymore and there haven't been any changes but hopefully God is working on her. I'm kind of afraid to bring it up again since I don't want to upset her. Hopefully if I'm supposed to say something God will put the words in my mouth so that she is receptive to it.
    Ravindran likes this.
  12. Hey David,

    I'm glad you're staying strong, brother. There are a couple of Scriptures I think would be helpful in this situation, both in terms of getting the information for comfort and guidance and in being prepared for what this situation could entail.

    There is a choice made in every human heart, and that choice is whether to love God or not. In 1 John 4:8, we read:

    8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

    And it's easy to read too far into a word, but Love isn't just an emotion: Love is the nature of the deity who defined His own fundamental existence in Exodus 3:14 as "I am That I Am." The God who has infinite power chose to make this world of all possible worlds, and he had that objective in mind: love. He expects it from us, and He gave the ultimate example on how to accomplish when He took on a flesh-body and died for us as the only sinless human.

    Matthew 22

    37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

    And what choice do we make in this brief life of flesh? Like all others who came before us, and all after, we are given one duty, to love God.

    Ecclesiastes 12:13

    Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

    Whether your wife chooses to do that at any given time is beyond your control. The Bible will simply be words on a page unless she makes the choice in her own heart (John 14:17); no firm suggestions will change that. I can tell you've been trying hard to be the best beacon you can to give her that opportunity, and may God bless your efforts in that regard. And you must seek His guidance on how to manage things given that fact.

    Love of God is absolute commitment, and begins as an earnest desire to seek one. If your wife chooses to repent and love God just as you once did, there won't be any hesitance or compromise, which is not to condemn her recent suggestions (that would depend on God's guidance, discussed further below). If she truly repents, though, she will gain understanding (John 14:15) and eventually be willing to die for God (Matthew 16:24): that's a stark contrast from arguing or placing other things higher on the priority list. You know what that kind of selflessness feels like when you give people the benefit of the doubt (Ephesians 4:2) and restrain all your fleshly desires to do what's right in a situation (2 Timothy 1:7), trying to firmly make peace if possible even if they are in the wrong (1 Peter 3:9). And when she comes to you with that attitude that you'd clearly see, and starts producing good works (Matthew 7:17), or at least has an attitude to want to try without letting herself get in the way, that's when you know she's on the right track again.

    Marriages can be difficult if you're already in them and then discover these kinds of spiritual issues. I know you love your wife, and God's Word has numerous passages that encourages people to keep going and provide an example in cases of partner-unbelief. But God can provide reassurance to you about when to move and what to do, and He will not leave you bereaved and comfortless (John 14:18).

    The best thing to do is to let God guide you, which He has promised that He will if you meet three conditions.

    Proverbs 3
    5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

    Acknowledge this promise in the name of Jesus to our Father, make sure you meet the three conditions, and He will direct you in whichever way He so chooses. Human advice can't offer guidance in all of the millions of tiny things you'd have to deal with, but God can direct you and allow you to grow at the same time. God can prevent you from becoming submissive and emasculated, and He can prevent you from being overbearing and a bad witness or overly restrictive, but man's advice could very well have you go one way or the other.

    It should also be noted that God can lead you down a path to understand more about this situation and perhaps even give indications about whether or not your wife will convert in the future, or at least lead you into the right position to be able to deal with whatever happens. He has done the same form me in the past. And this is a chance to grow closer to God, deeper into the Scriptures and not further away.

    One last, important point: you may consider yourself insignificant, but the Scriptures are very clear that you have something to watch out for regarding your family especially.

    1 Peter 5:8
    Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

    The Devil (or Satan as we call him) is not a monster with red horns. Rather, he is a very powerful person who once guarded God's throne (Isaiah 14) and now has a vested interest in the disruption of human faith and/or the unfolding of the Word of God, as demonstrated by his actions from Genesis all the way to Revelation. And we are given a personal warning to watch out for his influence.

    The book of Job gives a very clear picture: that Satan uses his spirit (or ruach) to remotely influence the world, and is able to torment believers if it is God's will to allow this difficulty into their lives. Satan took almost everything away from Job, using a variety of physical and psychological punishments and all the while concealing his own actions, making Job think they were directly from God. God's wager was correct, however, and though Job was somewhat broken, he never ceased loving God. Job defeated a supernatural being as a mere mortal, and that is what we all must do whether it's the time of the beast of Revelation or it's time to stand up and not give in to the everyday deceptive forces that fight us.

    One of the tools Satan used in the life of Job was his wife (see Job 2:9). If you think about it, aren't wives or husbands one of the most powerful means he has to torment people? You can't escape the fact that you are linked to the other person, no matter how emotionally strong you are. Their actions can tear your heart apart; their embrace and the subsequent torment can, if it gets bad enough, ruin everything that you have such that love of God is the only thing that keeps you alive. And if you are married to someone who is not a believer, they are fair game to be used by Satan if God so allows.

    Matthew 12
    30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

    Imagine all your psychological vulnerabilities, and how someone with superhuman intelligence (which Satan has as Ezekiel 28:3 implies) would be able to read your behaviour and then, if God so allowed him, use even the woman closest to you to exploit them.

    I say that not to scare you, and certainly not to make you more wary of your relationship in a paranoid or destructive way, but to make you realize that anyone who is not a believer and does not have the Holy Spirit is fair game for Satan to use. 2 Corinthians 4:4 says that Satan is the "god of this world," and anyone who is not in Christ is in the world. But God has given all of us who believe the authority to rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus Christ:

    Luke 10

    17 And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name.

    18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.

    19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

    20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.

    You are the head of your house, and it is important to exercise this authority if it is God's will. If you ever have children, it's the same deal. But every time I use this promise myself, I always include the caveat of "except that which the Lord wills" because it might be necessary for Satan to continue to torment me, just as it was necessary in Christ's life at times, whom we follow and seek to emulate.

    Everything works to the good of those who love the Lord (Romans 8:28). Whatever is God's will for this situation, be it great torment for you in the long run or a great gradual turnaround for your wife, you know and I know that you must bear it in total love for God. We can have no idols, not even our life with our wife. But God will help you through it, no matter what will happen:

    1 Corinthians 10:13
    There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (More info: James 4:7)

    I would encourage you to remind God of that promise regarding temptation even if Satan never tries to exploit this situation, because it is something to get past regardless. Satan being involved is a worst-case scenario. That doesn't change the fact that, in its current form, ultimately what you need is not to have that kind of confusion or contention in your life: you need either a way to bear this situation in the long-term or deliverance in the form of your wife turning to Christ, and I have no doubt that God will lead you to that in His time.

    Ecclesiastes 9:9
    Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

    Sometimes, our relationship situations are bleak, and they become obstacles that last for weeks or months. But I have faith that God will give you a way to get through this regardless, and I pray that if it is His will you can enjoy your life with her to the utmost. Once you have that guiding light of God in your life, you can begin to understand the situation and put some order to it like Adam, laying down whatever rules God would have you lay down and no others.

    And no matter what happens or what the outcome may be, as long as you stick with God you will be stronger and better able to accomplish His purposes.
    Huntingteckel and Sal say Amen and like this.
  13. Thanks for that, GodIsMyLight. I feel like she is right at the edge of coming back full force like she was before we got together. I'm just praying God gives her the little push she needs. We talk about the Bible all the time now, which is different than before. I guess since I'm unemployed at the moment and all I do is read my Bible there isn't too much else to talk about.

    There have always been outside forces trying to mess up our relationship. My mother made it very clear that if I chose her I was no longer allowed to live in her house, and I chose her anyway. My wife's mother wasn't supportive of it until the last second. We could barely afford to eat when we ended up having to live together. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Our marriage counselor (the person you go to before you get married to talk about your relationship) even said he felt like God was going to use us for something important because Satan was trying so hard to break us up.

    Even after we got married it was still hard. It's gotten worse recently. My wife just had her second miscarriage a couple of weeks ago. The only thing she wanted in life was a baby she's terrified that we won't be able to have one.

    We'll keep going because we always have. Her heart just needs to be softened a little bit more. I pray that will happen so that we can truly be a Christian home for the first time.
  14. That's awesome, Huntingteckel. I hope things continue to go well for you and your wife. To get to that stage where you have a Christian household is blessed indeed.
    JG27_chili likes this.
  15. Good news! The day before yesterday I watched Ken's Conditionalism sermon. I also asked if she would read Romans 8 because I really like that chapter. I also asked her to read "Did You Like Obadiah" ( http://www.christian-revolution.net/studyRender.php?studyID=52
    since she was seeming receptive to it and she did. Yesterday I asked what she was reading on her phone (she finishes a novel every week or two) and she said she was setting up a Bible reading plan on YouVersion! I nearly screamed or cried in joy (not sure which). I'm so happy. I knew God was pulling at her so I'm glad I didn't prod her and instead just let Him do His work.
    Sal, Ravindran, GodIsMyLight and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  16. Last night she pulled out a notebook, which she is calling a "prayer journal" but somehow has to do with taking notes on the Bible. Instead of watching X- Files she did all of her Bible reading until it was time to go to sleep. I'm very happy about it.
    Sal, GodIsMyLight and Ravindran says Amen and like this.
  17. Keep coming with the good news!
    Huntingteckel likes this.

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