I STRIKE AGAIN!!! D Just kidding. But well, I am back. I have changed my mind and I finally became a real Christian, or almost a real Christian. I no longer need Snape because he doesn't exist and I found out that I never actually loved him, or if I did, then I was stupid because romantic feelings for fictional characters are quite foolish... But I still want a very peaceful British or half-British man who is at least 6"1/185cm tall and has natural black long hair preferably necklength to shoulderlength but longer is good too, pale or light skin, and a deep voice. And I want a man like this because this is really my type of man and taste in men, so I really want God to send me such man because I know these men exist. I don't want God to send me a random man who is not my type at all... I especially don't want a crazy party animal who plays pranks on me because I am usually a serious person too and I get angry and annoyed if someone plays a stupid prank on me no matter if I should laugh about the prank. And I also started reading the Bible, and I always pray, and I tend to post Christian or Biblical pictures, and I respect people, but I can't love them because I don't know them, and my kind of this kind of love is the thing that I just respect people, but I don't have any sort of feelings for them unless they are my family, relative, or friends, etc. And my type of love for Jesus is that I respect Him a lot, that's why I don't obsess about Jesus and I really feel like He would get annoyed if I really obsess about Jesus, kind of the same way like Ned Flanders from Simpsons, I do get very annoyed too if someone obssesses about me. And I am not saying that you are like Ned Flanders, I am saying that people like Ned Flanders are too much. I don't want to obsess about Jesus like the same way I obsessed about Severus Snape. Just worshipping Him, praying, reading the Bible, loving Him, posting Christian or Biblical pictures, trying not to sin, self-humbling, asking for forgiveness, and awareness and guilt of sin are enough. And if I have to have feelings for people like God has for people, then how do I start loving people? Because some of them are really jerks and some of them hurt me bad (tortured emotionally), and I also just can't suddenly have feelings for people I don't know. And I have this thing that I need apologies from people who have tortured me emotionally... That's the way I can forgive them. What can I do? What do you think of me now?