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I 100% Lost It On My Ex Boyfriend This Morning

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by ChangingMyself, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. He didn't reply to a text message from me yesterday morning all day I sat and waited. We have been communicating and trying to work our way back to eachother. I have been praying and seeking God because in a lot of aspects of my life health wise and also financially I am struggling. Trying to change all of these things. Well this morning I sent him bad text messages and he replied saying he wasn't ignoring me but his phone was dead but basically thats why he doesn't want to be with me anymore because I'm a mess and I have a bad attitude and I'm jealous and insecure and just bad stuff. I lost it and I told him he was a liar and he dumped me and he hurt me and he just wants to play around with women and be a jerk and just a bunch of horrible things because I got really upset. Then I tried to call him a bunch of times and he wouldn't answer so I called him a coward over text and begged him to answer I told him I was depressed and wanted to die and needed to talk to him and he STILL wouldn't talk to me. It made me feel like garbage like he can see me hurting and he ignored me. So I called my sister and she talked me through it. I told her I was losing my faith in God she got so mad at me. But she still talked to me on the phone for like 2 hours and now I'm at work. I feel numb.
  2. Its going to be difficult to make things work with anyone whilst you are unsettled inside. Get your relationship right with God first, then the other stuff will fall in place. I am sure you have heard that many times before :p.
    ChangingMyself likes this.
  3. yeah I understand I just wish he understood me better and tried. He always just walks away. It makes me feel like maybe we just aren't supposed to be together. Maybe God has something else for me. This doesn't feel like love.
  4. It sounds more like you're struggling more with communication and personal relationships than you might realize. I know that there are always two sides to a story, and I'm not getting the full picture of either side, but when I read through your message, there are a lot of "I" statements, and a lot of back and forth behavior described that would make communication with you very difficult. You only mentioned prayer, and seeking God, once in the post, and it had nothing to do with the relationship you have with your Boyfriend, or your own personal behavior.

    When we pray to God to guide us, we need to give him control of our entire life, not just the parts we don't want to deal with. When you begin to stress about the behavior of others, stop, pray, and ask God what you could be doing to make the situation better, and if you can't actually do anything, stop, accept it the way it is, and try to move on.

    I personally struggle (not struggled, but am still struggling) with anger, and communication with others; this has put a tremendous strain on my relationship with my wife. But whenever I make an effort to resolve the situation with guidance from God, it almost immediately gets easier, the stress levels go down, and we become more loving in our conversations.

    Finally, and this is a hard one, I noticed a very disturbing line in your post, that I want to pay particular attention to.
    This is more than just back and forth, this is blatant manipulation. I have to assume that this has happened before, and may be endemic behavior. If you are telling people that your happiness is based entirely upon their behavior, you're practicing a form of emotional abuse, and your opening yourself up to people who will pay you back in kind. If you truly are depressed and having thoughts of suicide, please talk to a doctor, priest, minister, or anyone who can help you! But to use such language to try to force someone to talk to you is not healthy behavior, and signals an unhealthy approach to relationships.

    I encourage you to step away from romantic relationships for a while, and instead seek a closer relationship with God, while we all need people to love who love us, if it's an unhealthy relationship, there is no real love being shared. If you focus on God, I promise you, He will bring you closer to Him, and life closer to Him is so much better; and when you are ready to be in a romantic relationship, He will show you the way to someone special.

    I'll pray for you to find rest from all the stress I think you feel, and I hope I have helped you rather than make you angry.
    ChangingMyself likes this.
  5. I wasn't trying to manipulate him. I just wanted someone to talk to. He has been going back and forth with me back and forth with me saying he wants to get married and then in the next day he doesn't know what he wants. I moved on from him 2 times and each time he weasled his way back in and as soon as I got attached to him he acts like he can't be with me. That day I felt so ALONE and ANGRY and JUST WANTED TO DIE because I couldnt believe that he was doing that to me again. Once again telling me that he can't be with me. I just want to TALK I wanted him to have the balls to actually answer the phone and talk to a woman who he has been being intimate with and stop texting to talk and yes I felt TERRIBLE like I was garbage thrown on the curb that day but I was not telling him that to manipulate him I was telling him that because I felt just...terrible about the way he was treating me. I don't know how to explain it. This relationship has had so many terrible ups and downs....that day I just fell apart. I stopped contacting him though. I stopped on Saturday. I just let it go.
  6. one more thing I should say that may help you understand why I told him that I wanted to die was because he knows I have been struggling with lots of health issues and trying to get on my feet and he said he would be there for me. At that moment I wanted him to KNOW how much he has hurt me because he definitely has hurt me and he always just runs away and slams the door in my face so I felt like he needed to know what he was doing. I don't even feel like he ever really loved me. He was just using me. He couldn't stand to see me moved on and he had to try to get me back just to stomp me down again to nothing. I won't ever allow him to do that to me again. :(
  7. It seems you do realize that he was mistreating you, now it's time to move on, God will lift you up and carry you away from this part of your life, and you never have to let him in again. Pray, commune with other Believers, and don't look back. And if he comes back trying to get into your life, kindly tell him that you have to move on, and that your relationship with him is over. Don't be bitter, don't be angry, and don't respond to any bitterness or anger from him, just say bye.

    Pray, read the Bible, Commune with fellow Believers, find beauty in God's Creation; these four things can help turn your world view around, and draw your focus back to God.
    ChangingMyself likes this.
  8. you're right and I shouldn't have behaved that way and got all crazy with him I was so embarrassed afterwards. I even told him on Saturday that I loved him because I was still down and feeling...defeated? But I stopped contact. I'm going to try to become closer to God. Its been hard for me lately but I do want God to help me in all my life. Not just one part, you are right in that as well.
    Brewdaddy likes this.
  9. This reminds me of a girl that once had a wish.
    Even after telling her it was a no landing, she still tried. Long story with no relevance now.
    But I finished up making her wait all weekend just to hear from me again that she was not even an outside chance.
    That seemed to finally communicate the idea to her as I never heard from her again, except her uncle told me next day, after calling me the very unprintable things, that I'd be lucky if she ever talked to me again o_O :)
    Maybe you need to take the hint and move on with your life.

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