I’m saved but I don’t like it at the moment

A

Alan Heeley

I’m saved but I don’t like it at the moment!

You see I’m sat here
Licking my wounds
Angry that I’ve been saved!
Saved from my self sin and worldly things,

Thought I’d got it all worked out
Justified it with my faith…
Ok I know the thoughts and planned actions were to say the least worldly
but it seemed ok to me

I managed to keep this worldliness separate from my faith
Dreamed about it, planned it,
But God kept getting in the way

Thwarting plans, guiding me
Interfering, saving me from my self
Not that I appreciating it right now,
No body said how good it was how alive it made me feel,
Who else would get hurt?
And it’s not as if I’m turning my back on my faith and all it means to me!

Cometh the day , cometh the hour
God saved me from my self,
Thwarted my plans
Saved me from falling
into the world,

That’s why I’m sat here licking my wounds
Don’t want sympathy
Counselling, laying of hands,

Just want to understand
How I got caught out,
Dragged down,
Tempted by the world!

How come it nearly went pear shape when I was tempted this time?
 
Alan Heeley said:
I’m saved but I don’t like it at the moment!

You see I’m sat here
Licking my wounds
Angry that I’ve been saved!
Saved from my self sin and worldly things,

Thought I’d got it all worked out
Justified it with my faith…
Ok I know the thoughts and planned actions were to say the least worldly
but it seemed ok to me

I managed to keep this worldliness separate from my faith
Dreamed about it, planned it,
But God kept getting in the way

Thwarting plans, guiding me
Interfering, saving me from my self
Not that I appreciating it right now,
No body said how good it was how alive it made me feel,
Who else would get hurt?
And it’s not as if I’m turning my back on my faith and all it means to me!

Cometh the day , cometh the hour
God saved me from my self,
Thwarted my plans
Saved me from falling
into the world,

That’s why I’m sat here licking my wounds
Don’t want sympathy
Counselling, laying of hands,

Just want to understand
How I got caught out,
Dragged down,
Tempted by the world!

How come it nearly went pear shape when I was tempted this time?
Click to expand...
 
Alan Heeley said:
Praying for people in the church today I found myself praying for those( not known to me) who are inwardly struggling with temptation
Click to expand...
A friend of mine died recently... He was someone I found on the streets and brought to Church with me about 15 years ago when I was working with the homeless. I happened to have an apartment nestled in the downtown core and the area was sketchy so I made the best of it and adopted some of the people.

He was someone I will refer to as being tortured. I would see the cycle over and over again. He would get clean... go to treatment... come out and fall flat on his face very shortly after he left the safety of the program facility. I watched this play out over a period of 5 years... The church adopted him ( for lack of a better word )... they tried to help but to no avail.

When I received the email last week stating that my friend had passed away.... all I could think of is He is finally FREE. My soul cried out a HUGE HALLELUJAH! NO more using... no more "can't shut off my brain"... no more DAMN.... I spent all my money again on drugs.... no more agony... no more guilt... no more shame.... no more pain.

He was a believer.... but he could not get passed his demons. They haunted him day and night. I saw it... I felt it.

The Church kept helping him long after I moved back home here where I am living now... and the report I got is that for the last two years... my friend showed up faithfully to shovel the snow on the property. He died in his sleep. He got sick and would not let his roommate call the ambulance.

I am comforted by knowing that the GOD of all MERCY understands the suffering of those who simply cannot break their addictions due to the voices being too loud and powerful. For those who do NOT understand this illness... it is cunning... baffling and powerful beyond any human understanding.

Thank you Alan for posting this... I sort of feel like it's an ODE to my friend.
 
Thanks for sharing
Guess we will never really know how others struggle
I just love the phrase you described your friend with
“He was a believer.... but he could not get passed his demons. They haunted him day and night.”
It humbles me when I have a grumble at my situation and read about others battle with life
 
Alan Heeley said:
I’m saved but I don’t like it at the moment!

You see I’m sat here
Licking my wounds
Angry that I’ve been saved!
Saved from my self sin and worldly things,

Thought I’d got it all worked out
Justified it with my faith…
Ok I know the thoughts and planned actions were to say the least worldly
but it seemed ok to me

I managed to keep this worldliness separate from my faith
Dreamed about it, planned it,
But God kept getting in the way

Thwarting plans, guiding me
Interfering, saving me from my self
Not that I appreciating it right now,
No body said how good it was how alive it made me feel,
Who else would get hurt?
And it’s not as if I’m turning my back on my faith and all it means to me!

Cometh the day , cometh the hour
God saved me from my self,
Thwarted my plans
Saved me from falling
into the world,

That’s why I’m sat here licking my wounds
Don’t want sympathy
Counselling, laying of hands,

Just want to understand
How I got caught out,
Dragged down,
Tempted by the world!

How come it nearly went pear shape when I was tempted this time?
Click to expand...

Good morning, Alan;

I have a feeling this is you. If so, thank you for your honesty, brother.

A Christian who sincerely longs for God will face the spiritual battle for a lifetime.

To the nominal Christian or unbeliever, there are things on the high road that you can't get on the low road, and vice versa. So God is put aside.

The more I seek God to grow me daily, those quick fix gratifications diminish and the things God presents before me makes me want so much more of Him.

Along with that He supplies daily strength so when those temptations arouse my flesh and mind, I can run to Him instead of giving in to those things not of God.

God bless you, Alan. Your poem I’m saved but I don’t like it at the moment spoke to me.

Bob
 
bobinfaith said:
Good morning, Alan;

I have a feeling this is you. If so, thank you for your honesty, brother.

A Christian who sincerely longs for God will face the spiritual battle for a lifetime.

To the nominal Christian or unbeliever, there are things on the high road that you can't get on the low road, and vice versa. So God is put aside.

The more I seek God to grow me daily, those quick fix gratifications diminish and the things God presents before me makes me want so much more of Him.

Along with that He supplies daily strength so when those temptations arouse my flesh and mind, I can run to Him instead of giving in to those things not of God.

God bless you, Alan. Your poem I’m saved but I don’t like it at the moment spoke to me.

Bob
Click to expand...
As with all my poems a little bit story based on fact and feelings and experiences, seventy one years of living, and fifty years of walking hand in hand with my Lord
It’s been a bumpy road but I’m still here ✨
 
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