sadly my Christian faith has been mortally wounded. I do not want to live, and pray for death, but I highly doubt I would ever kill myself. I told my God that he would lose me if he didn't give clear instructions and end this confusion. Still believe in God. And think the Bible contains the greatest wisdom. I believe there was no one more influential in our history and then Jesus Christ. However, I can never follow what goes against my conscience. To have somebody tortured eternally in hell goes against my conscience of what is good and what is just. This life on earth is like a second compared to eternity. Nobody deserves to be in agony and forever and ever and ever because of what they have done with one second while blind and inclined to do what's wrong. There is much in the Bible especially the Old Testament that'sGod has done or commanded and get people to do that goes against my conscience of what is just and good. I know that I am inadequate without God but will never go against my conscience which the Lord has given and I will not commit myself to beliefs that I feel is false and damaging to my mental health. But I did not come to this site to offend anybody or discourage them about their beliefs. I asked for your prayers.